To Hope or Not to Hope
Printed From: OHbaby!
Category: Support
Forum Name: Life After Miscarriage
Forum Description: Up to one in five pregnancies ends in miscarriage, yet for many the loss of a pregnancy is isolating and lonely. Share your thoughts and feelings here with others who have experienced loss.
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=7269
Printed Date: 02 June 2024 at 5:34pm
Software Version: Web Wiz Forums 12.05 - http://www.webwizforums.com
Topic: To Hope or Not to Hope
Posted By: emmaohara
Subject: To Hope or Not to Hope
Date Posted: 05 May 2007 at 6:28am
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I started bleeding yesterday ended up at the hospital, the scan shows a tiny 5 week old not a 8 week old as I am, the blood tests showed the same.
My midwife same we can not be concluive until we have more blood on Monday to see if the hormone level has fallen although she can see the hormone and scan results are not positive. It hurts so much I can hardly breathe at the moment , I went to bed crying and woke up at 5 crying, Its seems so unreal, I know baby is dead but theres this slither of hope that maybe the bloods will come back differently on Monday and its all been a big mistake. I know i'm stupid for doing this to myself and should just face it know but I can't. I rang my mum and she was in tears and I thought I need you to be strong for me but she couldn't. Should I face it now or hold onto the fact that Monday could change things for the better? 
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Replies:
Posted By: arohanui
Date Posted: 05 May 2007 at 8:12am
I don't have any experience with this, but I just wanted to say I'm really so sorry you're having to go through this. I can only imagine how hard it is  ------------- Mama to DS1 (5 years), DS2 (3 years) and... http://alterna-tickers.com" rel="nofollow"> 
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Posted By: SMoody
Date Posted: 05 May 2007 at 9:24am
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I am so sorry honey. I say dont give up hope until you hear otherwise. Prepare youself that it might not be positive news but dont give up hope at all. (if you pray then pray if you chant then chant.)
I have several friends that this same thing happened too and it came down too the ovulated a bit late and actually concieved later than they thought. (sperm can stay in the body for quite a long time so even if you didnt have sex for a few days conception can take place.) I really hope you get some postive news back on Monday. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 05 May 2007 at 9:36am
| theres nothing wrong with holding on to the hope ... so long as you prepare yourself for both possible outcomes as much as you can thats all you can do. |
Posted By: caraMel
Date Posted: 05 May 2007 at 11:19am
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Sending you lots of positive thoughts and prayers. ------------- Mel, Mummy to E: 6, B: 4 and: 
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Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 05 May 2007 at 11:40am
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Sending you the biggest hugs Emma I'm sorry that things are not looking good. I can still remember the agony of waiting and hoping, and I'm sorry that you have to go thru that too. I will be keeping you and your wee bub in my prayers over the weekend, and hoping that things look up for you on Monday, but you know whatever the results are we are all here for you. -------------  Maya Grace (28/02/03)
 (02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: mum2paris
Date Posted: 05 May 2007 at 12:14pm
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I was the same, but we had no bleeding beforehand to tell us things were wrong, just went to see our baby on the scan to find no heartbeat... and waited a week hoping it was just a fluke cos our baby was the right size, and well formed and all that. however, in that week i just really lost all hope. Sometimes i think you just know and the first thing you do with this sort of thing is think .. "maybe, hopefully, what if?", feel sad, cry and grieve if you want to - holding out all hope sometimes isn't the best idea. If everything looks up on monday then what a great great surprise that will be for you.
are you certain of your dates? completely and utterly? cos there's always room for error with that sort of thing. will be thinking of you over the weekend. hugs to you ------------- Janine and her 2 cool chicks, Paris & Ayja 
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Posted By: emmaohara
Date Posted: 05 May 2007 at 4:55pm
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Thanks ladies, today has been the longest day ever can't believe I have tomorrow to go through too.
Its been slowly sinking in today trying to prepare myself, the bleeding has got heavier and heavier so I know I just don't want to know. Still hoping though I must be crazy just my way of coping I think until I get the news in black and white 
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Posted By: BaAsKa
Date Posted: 05 May 2007 at 6:44pm
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big hugs last year when i had a MC i was ever so hopeful the whole way through until i got the very last bloods saying that they were back to 0, i guess i hoped that they would maraculously have risen up and the heavy bleeding meant nothing. It totally sucks!!! and i hope you start to feel a little better as time goes on.
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Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 05 May 2007 at 7:47pm
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More hugs I was exactly the same. I started cramping and bleeding really heavily so I *knew* it was over, but at the same time....
Thinking of you and your wee one. ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: my2angels
Date Posted: 06 May 2007 at 9:02am
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big hugs
I remember being told i had to wait a week for another scan but i rang and go the hcg blood results the next day and it had started going down and I wish I hadnt of found that out because i still had almost a week till my next scan but I still held on to the possibility that one baby might have survived. Its such a horrible waiting game isnt it. Will be thinking of you! |
Posted By: emmaohara
Date Posted: 06 May 2007 at 9:10am
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Feeling a little more "with it" today, no crazy non stop crying, had bleeding and cramping all night so I'm 100% positive but its starting to be bearable , if you get me, think I can handle this. It helps when I have an active one year old wanting cuddles.
Just scared about the next step now, as I haven't passed any "clots" just blood. Kind of want it all finished pysically which will help me "move on", what can I expect, I don't really feel up to ringing midwife back today would be good to hear what she might say so I can be prepared and not started blubbing on her again 
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