*THERE MUST BE SOMEONE THAT CAN HELP ME*

I sit here in tears after another night of my little man not eating 'normal' food.
This battle has been going on for so long now I've forgotten what it feels like to be 'stress free'.
I created this monster habit by working full time and having 10 minutes to get food on the table at night after everyone having a very long day, started great when he was starting out on solids then gradually worse with parent tiredness and what I could throw in the oven was what he had.
I suffered really badly with depression after he was born and whatever I could do to make it a peaceful night, I did, sleeping issues as well.
Now he screams when I present normal food and bedtime is even worse as he suffers from bad nightmares he's been sleeping with me for the last 5 months and as I'm 4 months pregnant with my 2nd little monkey and can't deal with the stress of getting up to him every night when he wakes crying out to me.
I feel like I'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown, I don't work anymore because of tiredness from him waking and have had to take him out of kindy because of issues of him being 'super clingy' and not wanting me to leave him there.
It just feels like it's one thing after another - I'm sick of hearing "it's a phase" and "10 yucks to 1 yum", can anyone tell me if this will change with my persistence or am I doomed for a straight jacket.

Edited by fabians mum

I think he's trying to tell you the food is hurting him.

Check out Fed up with Food additives Fact sheets

My daughter begged for an apple yesterday. Last night & today I've paid for giving in to her! She winds me up so much with how she is when she eats foods that affect her.

The only meal I could get into her was lunch & then morning tea (apple or mandarin) and the rest of the day basically turned to custard. No eaten lunch, dinner wasn't eaten & I'd end up fighting with her about it. Each day was the same. I hated her coming home, I hated school holidays, I'd try & get rid of her. Now I love her to bits (well always did) & actually want her around.

Hugs hun. I'm lucky I have a huge email support network out there to answer my questions.

If he's also got behavioural problems a great book to get an understanding of where the lady behind the network came from is "Fed up with ADHD" I got it from our local library. I was also quite shocked out how some of my DD's behaviour was mirrored (not as extreme).

Thanks for the replies, he's the most well behaved well mannered boy, sleeps through the night, toilet trained himself at 3yrs old, no accidents since.
Growth and weight are both normal for his age, it's more me stressing than anything and I'm sure he'll change and start eating normal meals - I don't feed him anything fried or processed (as in nuggets and fries) he has spaghetti or filled pasta or cheese on toast or as a last resort, noodles. If he ever has anything that looks like nugget it's 100% chicken breast and I make sure he has beetroot as well (the only vegetable he'll eat).
There are days when I worry about all this more than anything else and days when I just want to get through the day without any hassle.
Maybe I just need a holiday, doesn't help when he's constantly being compared to his only male cousin who is 6 months older and would eat cardboard if his parents asked him to! LOL, no I haven't been diagnosed with any mental illness!!!

My Boy has just startied the ":I dont want to eat that", but I am lucky I have a very supportive partner and we just let him play if he doesnt want to eat what is offered. he sometimes skippes dinner because of this but is gettgin a lot better after about a week. My mum always told me children will not starve themselves, just give them time to come around. But I totally get the feel like jumping off a cliff feeling, when I am alone with my two little rascals it can be hell.

Hang in there, remember there is always someone out there to talk to even if they are strangers to you it can help. I have called plunket time a few times just to talk about things. ( I dont have many friends and it has gotten me through some bad times like colic etc)

First of all hugs.

Seems like he is feeling perhaps a bit insecure and going through a bit of seperation anxiety. I will tackle that one first. Does he follow you around everywhere when you guys are at home? If so before you leave the room tell him you are going to do ABC and if he wants to go with you or does he perhaps want to continue playing the game he is doing. Do this every time and praise him when he decides to stay.

let him know ahead of time before something is to happen. Like in 5 minutes time we are going to go for a bath or 5 minutes time we have to leave for this. When you drop him off let him know what time you are going to pick him up. Show him on a clock. The more information they have the more secure they will feel. (yes even at this older age.)

As for food. Sit him down and explain to him about what your body needs. My daughter is 4 and a half and totally fascinated with this at the moment. Perhaps start a small garden (even in buckets) Get him to plant salad leaves or start with something like a pizza garden. healthy stuff to go on a pizza. Perhaps some basil and things.

On weekends try and get him to help you make some of the meals. The more involve they are the better. Dont make meal times a fight. Put food on a plate (not too much as that puts kids off). And eat together and dont keep on trying to get him to eat it. If he just sits there then let that be.

Dont offer anything else afterwards. Do this with every meal. They wont starve themselves. If you are concerned that something else is going on get a Dr to do a full blood count as well as a medical examination. Perhaps do this before you tackle the eating issues.

Sometimes the more we beg them to eat the less they will. Just don't let it become and issue and just don't fight it at all. You need 2 people to turn something into a fight. (I know it is really difficult, I went through a stage with my kiddy that I literally sat on my hands.)

Once you deal with these 2 bigger issues you can deal with the other ones. Ask him what he would really like. Say a certain toy. Get a picture of that toy. Cut it in pieces like a puzzle and tell him each night he sleeps through in his bed without calling out that he gets another piece of the puzzle. Once it is finished he gets the toy. But from them on he has to sleep through.

Be firm but loving. And be kind to yourself too.

Didn't want to just read and run Have no consructive thing to say but... what you said he eats for dinner sounds fine to me! Don't be so hard on yourself - it's so hard being a mum - especially a working full time mum! Hope it's a bit better at your house now.