| Author |
 Topic Search  Topic Options
|
HoneybunsMa 
Senior Member
Joined: 01 February 2009
Location: NZ
Points: 1724
|
 Post Options
 Thanks(0)
 Quote  Reply
 Posted: 21 July 2011 at 11:29pm |
|
Move his stuff for him, show him you mean business!
Glad that Amelia's been coping ok, it is alot to deal with all at once! Hope you can be happy in your new house Julz and start a fresh once you know whats happening.
Men are so annoying when it comes to emotions though huh lol.
We're just chugging along as normal. Mum wants us to pay $200 board a week, so that includes the mortgage that all us kids are paying, our debt to them and board. If we pay that though that means that we won't be able to pay anything on our credit card, which was the whole point in us moving here, and I still have no space, I would rather pay the extra $100 and have my own space I think! I spoke to her and said that we budgeted $50 for utilities when we were living on our own and thats what we were expecting to pay, the mortgage is a given as all of us are paying but I won't pay that until I know the boys are paying too which I think is only fair! I pay for all our food, mum hardly buys anything for us, and infact I end up cooking for her on occasion even. She said but J pays $100 already, I just thought well maybe he should pay that and keep it as is with the mortgage taken out of that payment. I'm actually kind of angry at them as they managed to get themselves into this stupid rolling mortgage that now if we want to keep the house us kids have to pay. Dad was earning $100k a year and mum earns $50k and they still managed to get $80k on a mortgage that they have only been paying freaking interest on.
Maybe I need to look at saving for our rent in advance and bond and moving. I'm not coping and I feel resentful for paying $100 a week when all I have is 2bdrms and we use less power then my dad and brother combined!
|
|
|
 |
|
Sponsored Links
|
|
|
Cazz
Senior Member
Joined: 03 January 2009
Location: Central Auckland
Points: 215
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 23 July 2011 at 8:53pm |
hi ladies
i have been reading at not posting - naughty! we are good here had alison party last weekend and it was suppose to be small and ended up lots of family and friends so had to hire a venue but thats ok next year am def having it at the zoo or something!
I am school hols now thank god i hate working full time always feel guilty as i can't be a good teacher/boss/mum and wife and got told that i have been given approval for a new course next year which is awesome but means more work for me and pretty much got told not to have another bubs before the end of next year - not that i am planning to but don't like being told when i can/can't have more kids!
We have sleep issues with Alison - she won't go to sleep unless i am in bed with her cuddling her - i read the no cry sleep solution and tried to follow it but she was up until 10pm the first night i tried just sitting on her bed instead of in it. I also have put her in bed with DH as he goes to bed early but she plays up in there too screaming for me - it is driving me insane most nights i am in there with her for an hour or more which gives me less time in the evening to do all my marking/lesson plans etc so i get more stressed and take it out on her and DH - advice please?? 
|
|
|
|
HoneybunsMa
Senior Member
Joined: 01 February 2009
Location: NZ
Points: 1724
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 24 July 2011 at 11:59am |
|
Have you tried the supernanny technique? Just sitting in the room with her, start out on her bed if you have to then slowly each night move that little bit further away until your sitting in the door and then in the hallway etc? Not talking to her or looking at her? Not sure whatelse to offer aside from shutting the door and walking away and letting her cry. I've done that then let her get worked up so she gets tired and realises it and then gone back in cuddled and sang to her put her in her bed and walked away she stays quiet and goes to sleep after that lol. Mean I know but she thinks she doesn't need to sleep.
|
|
|
|
Nikki
Senior Member
Joined: 02 October 2003
Location: West Auckland
Points: 2279
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 29 July 2011 at 10:01pm |
Does she sleep fine all night? Just the going to sleep is the issue?
I've had to leave Morgan a couple of times too Elle - whens shes been having a ridiculous tantrum - but thankfully she shuts up after a minute or two and goes to sleep (she is used to going to sleep alone though, we just do a few books, cuddle, then put her in bed).
Is she close to dropping her day nap so not really tired?
Have you tried moving her bed time out half an hour, and running around with her all arvo / evening to wear her out and see if that helps? (Is she out of daycare while your on holidays therefore less exhausted or having longer naps?)
What I did when Morg had a patch of not wanting me to leave the room a while back was have DH put her to bed for a week or two. She didn't do it for him, and was fine by the time I started putting her to bed again.
Only other thing I could suggest is the supernanny type thing (gradually moving away) that Elle mentioned.
DH lies down with Jake quite a bit (DH likes it!) but J is asleep in minutes and is happy to go to sleep without it (I give him a quick cuddle only) so not really a problem. Maybe reassuring her you're staying and trying to get her to sleep more quickly would help if nothing else does.
|
|
DS (5yrs) and DD (3yrs)
|
|
julz85
Senior Member
Joined: 12 January 2009
Location: Christchurch
Points: 1176
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 31 July 2011 at 10:15pm |
i have found a flatmate :) one of my bestfriends ( the midwife one who delivered amelia) is going to come live with me in a month . yay im so happy . i need to get him out of the house , its too hard living with him . need my freedom back . im feeling alot better about being single . im actually feeling quite good 
thats a tough one Cazz, amelia hast started to go through a bit of a stage where she doesnt want to sleep unless i rub her back but im really trying to stop that , it can be very hard tho . if you want me to email myou the ebook of the sleep sense programme that i did on Amelia when she was younger i can just pm me ya email addresss . there are parts of the book aimed at children Alisons age .altho there is crying involved.
|
|
|
|
Nikki
Senior Member
Joined: 02 October 2003
Location: West Auckland
Points: 2279
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 01 August 2011 at 3:13pm |
OK Morgans tantrums are out of control!! She had the HUGEST one outside chipunks yesterday cos I had to wake her up to take her in - didn't want to go in, but didn't want to get in the car to go home again either - she wouldn't let me hold her so was on the ground so I tried to put her back in her seat and she ended up on the floor below Jakes seat screaming ... in the end I carried her to entrance screaming her lungs out and she lay there screaming for ages, then hit a lady who tried to give her a chocolate as well as hitting me a few times, then screamed at the door as I went through and she stayed on the other side hitting the door etc, then back on the floor with people walking over her .... etc ... eventually after I'd got them a juice (with her still lying by the door screaming and everyone staring at the child left on the ground screaming!) she let me pick her up and calmed down.
Just had another one cos I turned the TV off to put her in bed for her nap. Most of the ones at home are because she won't let me dress her or doesn't want to wear tights / dresses (I get her dressed 30mins before we leave for a party as it can take that long in time out to get her ready!).
Its driving me mad cos shes not like this for DH mum or daycare (the odd little one, but nothing like what I get). she is so lovely at times, but is OUT OF CONTROL at time - theres no reasoning with her at all. I know its not parenting either - cos I didn't have this with Jake!!!! :(
I'm persisting with time out at home. But is hard when you're out and she is on the floor bright red and screaming over nothing! (not like I can even give her something to shut her up, cos shes not doing it cos she wants something!!)
I don't get why she is getting so frustrated and angry as she has awesome language for her age and I had assumed that was part of the toddler frustrations -- apparently not!
She also took a red balloon of one of the big boys at a 4th b'day on sat and wouldn't give it back -- the mum got them to swop in the end (for her yellow one) so she was happy. I wouldn't have made another kids give up his balloon to keep her happy, but if I said no after she'd been told she could have it all hell would break loose so I left it!!
Oh - she does have hand foot and mouth - but only two on her hand and one in her mouth so not at all bothered by it (and daycare don't even send them home for it) .... but I'm thinking MAYBE shes not feeling 100% even though she doesn't seem sick.
Thats great you have a flatmate Julz!! Time to move on eh. 
|
|
DS (5yrs) and DD (3yrs)
|
|
julz85
Senior Member
Joined: 12 January 2009
Location: Christchurch
Points: 1176
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 03 August 2011 at 11:06pm |
hehe i went on a date tonight its been just over a mth since R and i broke up broke up . its far earlier than i ever anticipated but it was a AWESOME date . absolutley lovely guy , cute as , tall , very career driven , opened all the doors , paid , walked me to me car ... . then sent me the sweetest txt message on the way home . gosh its very weird dating again but it was so cool . we are going to see each other on the weekend :) hehe i have a big dumb grin on my face ,
nikki- amelias been having the odd tantrum like that too , so horrible when your out in publice aye .
|
|
|
|
julz85
Senior Member
Joined: 12 January 2009
Location: Christchurch
Points: 1176
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 03 August 2011 at 11:41pm |
.... oh and did i mention hes been playing guitar for over 11years and sings and writes his own songs . 
|
|
|
|
fattykat
Senior Member
Joined: 17 March 2009
Location: Hawkes Bay
Points: 620
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 10 August 2011 at 2:01pm |
|
Glad to hear things going better for you Julz.
Not much going on here.
Lily's talking has come along in leaps and bounds in the last few weeks, she is talking very clearly about all sorts of things, singing songs and counting.
The last few nights she has been waking in the night and NOT wanting to be in her cot, screaming and crying (almost like she is scared) but this morning she has a cough so I'm thinking she has been feeling unwell.
Last night we had to call into the supermarket....what a terror she was, wouldn't walk (or stand up actually) screamed when I picked her up and just cried for no reason. In the end I had to take her back out to the car (still screaming & crying I might add) and leave DP to finish the shopping.
Oh thats what I was going to ask......Is anyone using pillows yet? What I mean is, should Lily have one in her cot? When she sleeps in with us, I give her a really thin pillow but she always wriggles down and doesn't use it anyway.
|
|
Nikki
Senior Member
Joined: 02 October 2003
Location: West Auckland
Points: 2279
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 10 August 2011 at 8:01pm |
|
Theres a pillow in Morgans bed but I put her down below it ... she also has one on the side next to the safety rail and she sometimes gets up on top of that. I don't think Jake used a pillow in bed til closer to 3 from memory - and its a real thin one and he still doesn't always sleep on it. I'd wait til shes in a bed to worry about a pillow.
|
|
DS (5yrs) and DD (3yrs)
|
|
fattykat
Senior Member
Joined: 17 March 2009
Location: Hawkes Bay
Points: 620
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 11 August 2011 at 10:36pm |
Thanks Nikki, I don't think I will bother with one.
There is no way in hell I want her in a bed yet....she can stay trapped in her cot for as long as I can get away with it 
|
|
julz85
Senior Member
Joined: 12 January 2009
Location: Christchurch
Points: 1176
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 12 August 2011 at 2:39pm |
fattykat- amelia has a pillow (shes in a big bed) but if Lily doesnt seem interested in one i wouldnt bother , im pretty sure they dont use them at preschool so she would have to get used to having one at home but not at preschool , altho amelias grown out of her day time nap she hasnt had one (apart from falling asleep in the car first) since she changed to a bed about a month or so ago .
So im going on a third date with the same guy this weekend hes a very nice guy .
|
|
|
|
Nikki
Senior Member
Joined: 02 October 2003
Location: West Auckland
Points: 2279
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 13 August 2011 at 10:13pm |
How exciting re the third date Julz!! Sounds like its going well.
We have my niece staying tonight for the first time - shes a few months younger than Jake. Looking after them all, and getting them fed, changed, ready for bed = no problem. Getting the two older ones to sleep in the same room = not too much of a problem. Getting Morgan to go to bed when her cousin was in the next room with her brother = bit more of a problem! Poor bubba ... she doesn't like to be left out of anything. Took me almost an hour of going in and out (mainly in to keep her quiet!) to get her to sleep. Hope this doesn't lead to any issues with her going to bed tomorrow now!!!
|
|
DS (5yrs) and DD (3yrs)
|
|
HoneybunsMa
Senior Member
Joined: 01 February 2009
Location: NZ
Points: 1724
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 13 August 2011 at 10:42pm |
|
Oh no Nikki, sounds like your having a hard time with Morgan. If it makes you feel better Nia throws tantrums that are so off the scale it's unbelievable then will look around while she's calming down say there it is and go to whatever she's seen that was apparently what she was looking for all along (even when it's not) and act like nothing was ever wrong!
Julz good to hear its going well!! When does Rich move out?
And fattykat Nia has a pillow has for ages, but she has always slept on pillows from when she slept in our bed. We gave it to her about 8mths when she was slightly snotty to raise her head and she has slept with it since. She sleeps like us though and on her tummy arms up under the pillow
Nia's apain end of storylol no. She is such a star all these words are spilling out of her now. She has named dad pappa all on her own doing and has name mum dubby so funny and can say all of my brothers and their families names sil and her family 2-3word sentences all the time.
So DP is depressed, he is under so much pressure at work and they keep piling it on. Even mum has noticed and she only see's him on Sundays sort of thing. All I can do is let him know I'm there and be there if he wants to talk. We were lying in bed the other day talking with Nia chatting away to us and I told him hewas getting like he was when he was at Met and he recognised that so that's good but he did say he was happy with our little family. Always nice to have reassurance!
|
|
|
|
julz85
Senior Member
Joined: 12 January 2009
Location: Christchurch
Points: 1176
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 18 August 2011 at 6:18pm |
|
well its been a dramatic week. i didnt end up going on that date , i cancelled . and i cooled right off the last week or so , i like him , hes lovely but i just had a feeling i shouldnt jump right in so quickly , then richard and i have been talking for the last few days about getting back together so today (whilst standing on the side of the rd in the rain lol) we decided to give it another go ,we are going to give it a month and see how we both feel at the end of that time . im still very unsure . lots of stuff going on in my head but we will see ......
|
|
|
|
NewPhoenix
Senior Member
Joined: 08 January 2009
Location: NZ
Points: 639
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 19 August 2011 at 3:23pm |
|
hehe ooh julz i wondered from the fish and chip shop comment!!! fingers crossed for you both - hope he is able to be honest and up front about how hes feeling
and the rain thing is cute!
|
|
fattykat
Senior Member
Joined: 17 March 2009
Location: Hawkes Bay
Points: 620
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 20 August 2011 at 10:09am |
LOL I wondered from the fish and chip shop comment also.
Hope things turn out as you want them to
Yay we have sunshine today....I was starting to go a bit mad, I'm over rain. And it has been soooo cold (it still is today but at least the weather is pretending its warm) Roll on summer.
Everything is all good here, Lily is really pushing the boundaries but thats part of growing (even if I don't like it)
I've been having a big clean out, sorting through clothes that I've been holding onto that I haven't been able to get into since having Lily. I figure its been two years, if I don't fit them now there probably isn't much chance of it happening for a while
Last night I went through the kitchen stuff & linen and put a whole heap into boxes that was mismatched or hadn't been used for ages and have rung the womens refuge to come & collect. I'm sick of having so much cr@p in the house so am on a ruthless throwing out mission.
|
|
HoneybunsMa
Senior Member
Joined: 01 February 2009
Location: NZ
Points: 1724
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 23 August 2011 at 1:47pm |
haha I wondered from the fish and chip comment too.
Just protect yourself and Amelia Julz that's all I'll say and I hope you end up happy!
Nia had vomiting and diarrhea on Sat not so cool, I txt DP saying that I might need him so he ended up coming home from work which he was happy about lol, and I only had like 2disposables left and I wasn't going to use cloth with her had no idea what the night would be like so text my SIL and they went and got me some love my family! Now seems a bug is going round, bro is sick with vomiting and mum has diarrhea luckily I'm ok DP has a funny tummy too, but Nia is right as rain.
Nothing else much going on here, we have decided that we are going to postpone finding a house until next year DP is going to be so busy with RWC and then Christmas he won't be able to help and we had decided if we didn't find anything by Oct we would stop looking as we've offered for our SIL bro to move in with us when he starts Uni next year so we're waiting to hear from him.
|
|
|
|
julz85
Senior Member
Joined: 12 January 2009
Location: Christchurch
Points: 1176
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 23 August 2011 at 4:11pm |
me and rich not going good
i kicked him out on sunday . i need space , since we origianally broke up 2mths ago we have had no time apart pretty much at all and i really need some . I realised on fri/sat that it just wasnt going to work as richard had made absolutly no attempt to change anything that was upsetting me so yea i told him i couldnt do it and asked that he move to a friends at least for a week or so so i can get my head around everything , quite ironic that i am now the one rejecting him . I just got really angry , i know anger is part of the grieving process but i had been very meek and quiet this whole time and then on friday/sat something happened that just flicked a switch and i got angry at him , really really angry . on sunday night i ended up telling him exactly the things that were bugging me and i was not polite but to be honest its been inside so long that it feels very good to finally have verbalised it all . He went very very quiet and didnt really have anything to say so now i am just relaxing in my big house all to myself and amelia and i am enjoying it . its nice . im giving myself a week or so of this then i will decided if my friend is going to move in .
Oh noe Elle- sorry to hear about the tummy bugs! not fun at all
good to do a clean up fattykat , its good to get some of old stuff and clear some space
|
|
|
|
HoneybunsMa
Senior Member
Joined: 01 February 2009
Location: NZ
Points: 1724
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 23 August 2011 at 8:33pm |
Thats fair enough, how are you meant to know what you really want when he is right there! Sounds like you might be ready to clear some space too
|
|
|
|
Due in July 2009
