my son
Printed From: OHbaby!
Category: Support
Forum Name: Stillbirth and Baby Loss
Forum Description: A place to support each other and share thoughts and memories after a stillbirt or the loss of a baby.
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=38728
Printed Date: 30 April 2024 at 11:09pm
Software Version: Web Wiz Forums 12.05 - http://www.webwizforums.com
Topic: my son
Posted By: k1wimum
Subject: my son
Date Posted: 09 April 2011 at 8:09am
| in the next few days we will be giving birth to our son he has spinabifida and wont have a great outcome we have tried to work out how we could make it work with the multiple surgeries possible seziures etc that can be an issue for alot of babys in this condition but with to other young children to consider and quality of life for them as well as baby we came to this heartbreaking decision. we have been here before and it sux im worried about my mental capabilitys dealing with this again and the effect on my eldest which we explained the best we could that his baby brother will be going to heaven and not coming home with us.i just want to fix everything and i cant and feel i have failed again at being a good mother i love and adore my kids they are my world and with this being the second one im a high risk has anyone else gone on to have a normal baby after losing two with spinabifida |
Replies:
Posted By: MummyFreckle
Date Posted: 09 April 2011 at 11:27am
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I didnt want to read and run. I am so sorry for your loss, I dont have any advice, but just wanted to send you some
------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Limochick
Date Posted: 09 April 2011 at 11:45am
I am so sorry that you and your family are going through this, I don't have any advice but didn't want to run without letting you know that I will be thinking of you  -------------  
 
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Posted By: EmDee
Date Posted: 09 April 2011 at 11:52am
I am so sorry that you are going through this, again. How utterly heartbreaking  My thoughts are with you and your family ------------- DS 8 DD 6 DS 4 DD 2 |
Posted By: Lexidore
Date Posted: 09 April 2011 at 12:11pm
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Also didn't want to read and run, I can't offer any advice but huge hugs and sympathy ------------- 
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Posted By: AandCsmum
Date Posted: 09 April 2011 at 1:20pm
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Oh huge hugs. I can't imagine what you are going through.
------------- Kel http://lilypie.com"> 
A = 01.02.04 & C = 16.01.09 & G = 30.03.12 |
Posted By: Topkat
Date Posted: 09 April 2011 at 5:14pm
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i'm so very sorry and sad to read this you must be a strong and couragous women to have to do this twice! But I know you would skip the life lessons, and the strength you gain, to not have to go through this. It's the hardest thing in the world losing a child of any age and for you to have to go through this twice is truly un-fair.
It is nearly four weeks since I gave birth to our angel baby at 19 weeks due to Kindney problems, we are doing ok but I know how you will be feeling. There is another lady on here who has lost a child to spinabifida I hope she gets in touch as I know she has gone on to have healthy bubs. Please Pm me if you want to chat but I guess you already know the emotions and the process you will go through. I'm sure you will go on to have a wondeful heathy bub once you find the strengh to carry on. As will I......Massive hugs to you xxxxxx |
Posted By: kebakat
Date Posted: 09 April 2011 at 5:51pm
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I'm sorry that you have to go through it twice! That's just beyond unfair.
Jared was our spina bifida bub. About a month after I had him I put myself on 5mg of folid acid rather than the 800mcg and took that just in case we got pregnant again, I didn't want another bub straight away but I thought that if I did get pregnant again I wanted to make sure I had loads of folic acid. Alex is healthy and doesn't have spina bifida. I was offered an amnio which can tell you if your bub has spina bifida. But that's still at like 15w. |
Posted By: WestiesGirl
Date Posted: 09 April 2011 at 10:09pm
Im so sorry hun. Thinking of you and your family during this sad time  ------------- Our Angel July 08 Gone but not forgotten
And to complete our family, our princess has arrived 
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Posted By: queenbean
Date Posted: 10 April 2011 at 5:49pm
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Oh k1wimum, this is heartbreaking. I'm the other Mum with a spina bifida baby. You'll be going through so much right now, but there definitely is hope. Like kebakat, I take a whopping 5mg of folic acid when TTCing, and have had two wonderfully healthy children since losing Eva.
I'm so, so sorry hun, please feel free to PM me anytime -------------   
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Posted By: k1wimum
Date Posted: 16 April 2011 at 3:36pm
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we had our son last night and named him max he is beautiful he was with us for nearly an hour and passed away peacefully in his daddys arms, i feel so hollow and empty and miss him so much but am glad he in a better place i wanted to thank everyone for there kind words and advice
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Posted By: Limochick
Date Posted: 16 April 2011 at 4:32pm
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A very beautiful name for a very special little boy!! I am so sorry for you and your family, I will be thinking of you in the days and weeks to come -------------
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Posted By: kabe
Date Posted: 16 April 2011 at 8:18pm
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So very sorry to hear about your loss. Know that we are thinking of you and your family ------------- http://alterna-tickers.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: shadowfeet
Date Posted: 16 April 2011 at 9:20pm
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I'm so sorry ------------- 
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Posted By: Topkat
Date Posted: 17 April 2011 at 7:33pm
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so sad, it's so hard it sounds like max passed away peacefully bathed in love....please come on here and chat to us if ever you need anything we are all thinking of you and your fam
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Posted By: WestiesGirl
Date Posted: 17 April 2011 at 9:24pm
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------------- Our Angel July 08 Gone but not forgotten
And to complete our family, our princess has arrived
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Posted By: k1wimum
Date Posted: 19 April 2011 at 10:34am
| baby max will be arriving home today my partner has gone back to work and the world keeps turning it just doesnt feel that way for me.am trying to keep myself motivated and doing things that need to be done but its so very hard. we went and did shopping yesterday and everywhere i looked there were brand new babies i no they would have been there anyway it just made me feel so empty |
Posted By: queenbean
Date Posted: 20 April 2011 at 11:18pm
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I know how you feel hun, everyone just carries on as normal but for you it feels like the world has stopped. Big hugs xx -------------
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Posted By: bikershaz
Date Posted: 21 April 2011 at 3:35pm
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I'm so sorry for your loss k1wimum. I still find going shopping really difficult. I have started going after work to avoid couples with their babies at the weekend. I just can't cope with it. I have had to walk out sometimes as I'm near to tears.
I had the feeling and still do that the world is carrying on yet I'm stuck. Big hugs to you and your family and I know it doesn't really help but you are not alone. Take care and PM if you ever feel like someone to talk to. S xxx ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://counters.families.com">
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Posted By: Shezamumof3
Date Posted: 25 April 2011 at 4:59pm
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Im so sorry for your loss
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Posted By: Georgiegirl
Date Posted: 29 April 2011 at 12:51pm
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I'm so sorry for your loss too, I can't imagine what it is like for you to lose you Beautiful little Max.
I have a little girl 15 months who is profoundly intellectually handicapped. So I understand the pain of an utterly broken heart. I believe the pain will never go away, but I hope that it has made me a stronger better more compassionate person. If you ever want to talk PM me. A saying that helps me is... "Even on my darkest days I get a little bit stronger". ------------- http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/279456"> 
TTC#2 8th round of clomid 100mg 1 failed IUI. Waiting for IVF now. |
Posted By: k1wimum
Date Posted: 26 May 2011 at 12:48pm
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its been a few weeks now and we are slowly moving forward im still having a hard time being around new babies it just makes me ache for max so much. we have started talking about trying again i would love to but am so scared if something were to happen with another baby i dont think i could survive that and i still have two wonderfully healthy boys which without them id be lost. it just feels like for us our family is incomplete i guess it always will be, has anyone else been in a similar situation of losing two babies with spina bifida and had a healthy baby afterwards? i now take 5mg folic acid everyday
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