Spicing up the Baby Dancing

Random subject title I know, but I want to know (you don't HAVE to share intimate details or whatever but...) you know how after a few months of trying for a baby, BDing sometimes (for me at least) a bit *mechanical* or some other word like that!

Anyways - people are always saying, just forget about it and you will get pg, but I CAN'T! I KNOW when I ovulate each month and when my next AF is due.... how can I relax and just DO IT and enjoy making love rather than just BDing! Don't get me wrong, we do have intimate moments but when it comes down to the crunch - we are making love to make a baby! But poor DH sometimes feels the pressure himself and I DON'T want him to - I want him to forget about it as well.

Has anyone got any spicy ideas (obviously this site is moderated to a certain degree but you know....!) of how to change BDing into making love again (while still BDing! if you know what I mean!?)

thanks in advance!
emma

and I'm selling shagvent calenders, they ROCK *ahem* We are doing them for a fundraiser for marlborough parents centre, a few off here have bought them. check out www.shagvent.com and flick me a pm if you are interested.

Yep I agree with SimSam, spurr of the mommet is always good!. Just do somethihng like.....When he is in the shower sneak in too, or just jump him while hes watching tv or something wearing something to "Catch his eye" Hope that helps!! hehe

Edited by Sheza

i remember only too well hubby saying to me how he didnt want to do it anymore cause it felt like a chore.

what i found helpful was to seduce him and be romantic at other times not just when i knew it could make a baby. and somtimes tho you do have to stop. maybe one day dont have sex when you think it is the right time. feeling like you have to takes the fun out...maybe lose the thermometor (or whatever it is you use) for a month. and stop thinking that you are only having sex to make a baby, cause at the end of the day people do still have sex when that isnt the desired result.

The gremlins were conceived on the spare bed in my office We were very much the same as you Emachan after 12 months of TTC BDing had become a chore, almost to the point of "do we have to?" "yeah, it's the right time of the month" *groan*

But after the miscarriage we were taking things a little less seriously coz I was in a weird head space, and one evening when I was working Willie came into the office and sat on the spare bed and started talking to me and then one thing led to another and there we were on the spare bed with the curtains wide open for all the world to see. Thank God for the big row of trees in front of our house! It was nice that it was so spontaneous, and I knew I wasn't ovulating till the next day so I didn't feel pressured to 'do it', I was thinking I should hold out till the next day.

The next day my friend's little boy passed away so we didn't BD, and two weeks later hello BFP!

We were exactly like that too. After 5 years of trying it definitley becomes a chore!!!!
Anyway we had decided that it was going to be our last month of fun before we got DH tested and were determined to make it relaxed.

In the end we have worked out that my DD was concieved outdoors when things got a little too adventurous on a nature walk

I think the best thing to do is just have fun and try to remember the times when you first started doing IT.   The days when you could hardly keep your hands off each other

Sorry TMI (I can't believe I actually wrote that) How embarrasing

Edited by Sterryn

Ok, so a little more honest than I thought I would ever be to 'strangers' ehem, but what the hey, I feel like I know y'all well enough by now.

We were finding the same problem, it felt like we were just going thru the motions as it were, and almost doing it out of obligation due to the whole 'got to be in to win, no BD, no chance this month...' type thing.

So I stopped telling him about my cycles, and if I had to temp I'd do it in the bathroom so he wouldn't see. Emails and txt messages of a 'sensitive' nature helped with the anticipation, and I have to agree with the above comment on the outdoors, and the potentially getting caught. Outdoors rocks, especially in a thin tent with other campers about! And as for getting caught, we 'ehemed' once at my parents place while on holiday, and we both knew they were pretty light sleepers, so that had a real element of danger to it.

I think what has helped is just being spontaneous, and still sensual. So touching, and sensual foreplay certainly help to bring back that 'first date' feeling where you couldn't keep your hands off him.

And if you can bear it, maybe stop charting, temping, counting for a month and see how you go, just whenever the whim takes you. Anytime, not just potential baby time.

Sorry if this has been TMI, but just thought it was a pretty important issue I had to put my 2cents worth in, for what its worth.

Best of luck, and by the by, those calendars are apparently REALLY worth it!

its my wedding then, tho...

for anyone else who's interested - the latest Cosmopolitan magazine has a 'range' of O-positions - to spice up the lovelife and encourage the big O! Was reading it on the plane back home today and tried a couple of the moves on DH this arvo!!!

Good on you Emma! Thats a little more adventure than I would be brave enough for. Hopefully the change of scenery has made this your lucky month!