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FionaS
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Topic: Another baby?? Posted: 06 November 2007 at 9:00pm |
Before you get excited, no, I'm not pregnant.
However, I'm feeling as though I would really like to start TTC for number 2 ,especially since it took us 2 years to get pregnant with Elle. However, I'm really scared about it. Before I go any further let me say that I love my bubba to pieces and wouldn't trade her for the world. However, we've had a really tough 14mths and I'm really, really scared about doing it again. I know all babies are different and chances are my next one will be a really relaxed and happy little boy or girl BUT it is still scary. I'm scared that if I have another, my insomnia might return + how would I cope if I get another unsettled bub?
Not sure what my question is here...ummm...when did you know you were ready for number 2?
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cuppatea
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Posted: 06 November 2007 at 9:04pm |
I started a thread a little while ago called age gaps, will bump it for ya.
I think with number 2 you will have a lot more experience under your belt to deal with any difficulties and like you say you make get a bub with an entirely different personality.
Good luck
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FionaS
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Posted: 06 November 2007 at 9:43pm |
Thanks for the bump...will go check it out :)
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Two Blondinis
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Posted: 06 November 2007 at 10:20pm |
I think with #2 you have so much more practical knowledge and experience than you had before #1 arrived that you'll probably find that you can use the lessons you've learnt with Elle and find life a bit easier.
That's what I keep telling myself at the moment as I'm sooooooooo clucky!!!! I blame Jess for being our first July 06 mum to get pregnant again
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Jennz
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Posted: 07 November 2007 at 12:29am |
Personally I found it sooooo much easier second time around. You're not second guessing yourself, you know that if you miss bathing them one day you're not a terrible mother and their limbs won't rot off. You recognise what the crying is about, and you're just so much more relaxed. My worry with having a second was that Charlotte was such an easy baby/toddler that we would get a nightmare second and I must admit Kate is alot more work BUT I still find it easier than when we had Charlotte. I know whats wrong quicker and what to do to fix it, I know that asking for help doesn't make me a faliure and the house doesn't have to be magazine perfect 24/7 as getting rest is more important! I think first time around you spend so much time worrying and trying to prove yourself where as second time around you get to sit back and enjoy it so much more.
Plus, not only do you get the joy of having another child you get the added bonus of seeing your children interact with each other. Charlotte and Kate are just so sweet together it totally makes my heart melt
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Jen, Charlotte 7 & Kate 3
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meow
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Posted: 07 November 2007 at 7:34am |
Not reading this, not reading this!
(damn cluckiness!!)
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yummymummy
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Posted: 07 November 2007 at 7:57am |
We always wanted a small gap between our babies and being 30 already, I didn't want to wait too long. We are also in a position to be able to afford it financialy and have loads of family support around. That said, Gina is also a really easy going baby so I'm hoping for the same this time.
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FionaS
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Posted: 07 November 2007 at 8:32am |
Awww you all make it sound like a box of fluffy ducks (don't worry...I know it's not!!!). Damn cluckiness...it vanished entirely for 13mths but it is back! My Dulce and Zoet sling arrived yesterday and although it is good for Elle I just kept imagining a liddle bubba asleep in it. Awwwwwwwwwwwww.
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Mazzy
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Posted: 07 November 2007 at 8:43am |
We wanted a smaller gap between our kids too, but I have to say that now I'm pregnant I keep changing between YAY! and OH CRAP!
As with having DD, we made the decision and we were ready, but I am terrible at second guessing myself so the whole way through I had lots of moments of doubt about whether we were ready.
My point? If/when you do start TTC or get pregnant, don't worry if you feel like you're not ready, because you will be! At least that's what I keep telling myself
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Bizzy
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Posted: 07 November 2007 at 8:55am |
DONT DO IT!!!!!
I told toni the same thing and i will say it again. ONE is enough!!!!
You feel guilty for not being able to spend time with the first child when you have to deal with the baby, you miss the things you did together, you compare, resentment will happen. its no picnic having two kids and not to forget that when you get really pregnant you cant always pick up the kid you already have or get on the floor and do the stuff you used to. and just cause you want a sibling for them is not a good reason. sure they may play nicely together for a time but they also egg each other on when it comes to being naughty.
(of course you forget all that and will love another child as much as your first)
so.....
dont do it
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FionaS
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Posted: 07 November 2007 at 9:28am |
But given Elle's temperament I reckon she will end up soooooo spoilt if we don't have at least one more to share the attention with.
Hopefully my second pregnancy will be similar to my first in that my tummy was pretty small and my movement wasn't really restricted at all. I still lifted things and carried things (I shouldn't have!) still got up on chairs and ladders, moved furnature...ok will stop now before I get in trouble. Pregnancy was the fittest time of my life! LOL
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Rachael21
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Posted: 07 November 2007 at 9:46am |
In the middle of the night I agree with Deb haha
But seriously you can cope with much more than you think you can. I was convinced I'd get a good sleeper this time round but no I got a worse sleeper. I didn't know how I'd cope with not having an afternoon nap but somehow you just do.
Another plus is how cute they are together, like yesterday we were at the supermarket and Caprece was crying so Jack put his arm around her and cuddled her the whole way round the supermarket. He was a wee bit unsettled when she first came home but hes so great now and will climb up next to us when I'm feeding her.
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meow
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Posted: 07 November 2007 at 9:56am |
Just remember that with your first pregnancy, you didn't have another child to look after
I've watched several friends go through having their second, and they seem sooo tired during the pregnancy.
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Jennz
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Posted: 07 November 2007 at 9:58am |
I second that- had a breeze first pregnancy, fit as a fiddle. Second time around I really struggled!
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FionaS
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Posted: 07 November 2007 at 11:12am |
meow wrote:
Just remember that with your first pregnancy, you didn't have another child to look after
I've watched several friends go through having their second, and they seem sooo tired during the pregnancy. |
I know, I know. But shhhhh I was creating a nice illusion for myself. My friends have really struggled with pregnancy number 2 as well due to the tirednes. Mind you, I was up at the hospital with my sister before and after work for half my pregnancy + had to manage a restructure at work + had some other drama's during my pregnancy and I can't say I really sat down or slowed down at all.
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Rachael21
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Posted: 07 November 2007 at 1:07pm |
I just wanted to add in that it isn't the new baby thats the hard work its the toddler
The pregnancy is sucky but then again which pregnancy isn't? The bump is quite convenient cos you can sit number one on there while you carry them around lol
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meow
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Posted: 07 November 2007 at 3:24pm |
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busymum
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Posted: 07 November 2007 at 4:58pm |
What does your DH think?
I personally found going from 1 to 2 very hard. DH was studying full time (plus some) as well as working on Saturday afternoons; I was working on Saturday mornings as well. Hannah was 19mos when Briona was born and Briona was head strong, unsettled and refluxy. She screamed herself to sleep every night for the second 1-2 months whereas Hannah had been a very placid baby. I developed a lot of strategies for getting my day sleep towards the end of the pregnancy but pretty much I slept when Hannah did. It was exhausting and very hard. I had to get DH heaps more involved with helping out with housework etc and honestly we adjusted to #3 much better than #2.
But in saying all that, I was glad I did it and even did the same gap again. And it's so great how the older two will go off and play together (like at the moment) already and Hannah didn't have to wait too long for Briona's development level to catch up, as it were.
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FionaS
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Posted: 07 November 2007 at 8:52pm |
I think both of us are leaning more towards a 3 year gap than a 2 year gap as TBH we still need to recover from the past 14mths ;)
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nikkitheknitter
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Posted: 09 November 2007 at 9:48am |
Personally, I'd be inclined to agree with the 3 year gap. Hannah is just that much more self sufficient now and I could see her actually being quite cool with a baby. At 2 years I was still VERY much doing everything for her.
Anyway, I'm a big proponent of this large age gap business, purely for the fact that it has only JUST dawned on me that kids are FOREVER!! Babies are SUCH a short space of time, so you need to both enjoy them and make sure that you are prepared for the eventuality that they turn into kids. haha
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