wanna-be ’old’ mum under pressure!

wow and hello...

I am 35 and had rhyley at 34.. so fleury you have plenty of time - that said my dh wants more kids and me well,..... very undecided. We have 3 ..14,9 and 1 year. Dh is 5 years younger than me so his 'clock' isn't ticking so qukickly as mine so to speak. Most thing that is worrying me is that I will be around 37 when i have babie #4 (and I never imagined I would have one in my 30's let alone late 30's) and plans we have for the future (possibly moving to oz) wouldn't happen cause it would be alot harder and i wouldn' t be up for it if we had more kids.

If you and your husband are keen to have kids then i say go for it. Every relationship has its problems. and not that i am saying who care if you become single but really who does care I have been there and its not like you were a silly teenager like me (just a teenager at that)ETA: had to correct this 'just' as in I was 19 not 13 as it may of sounded LOL.



Edited by AnnC

hi bubbles - I am 38 and ttcing with my hubby to be (get married next month), I have a 12yr old that I brought up solo and I have to say he is a well rounded normal boy but couldn't have done it so well without the fabulous support of my parents, they were always there for me and to help in his upbringing etc. so I say go for it as I think raising children is the most rewarding job we can do.

I am not really apprehensive about having another at 38, cause I have always felt you are only as old as you feel and its a state of mind IYKWIM And especially this time I will be in a stable loving relationship, so the load is shared.

The only thing I worry about now is not getting pregnant, but I am trying to stay positive about that and believe that it will happen soon. So good luck and I hope you join us at o'baby in the ttc journey

I can relate to that bubbles if you think to much on the practicalities of having children I don't think anyone would have them.
I know I'm as ready as I'm ever going to be and thankful that I got all the silliness of my 20's over with.

I would talk to your husband I think sometimes we assume we know what they want.

Good luck with your baby journey.

Hi bubbles, I have been exactly where you are now.. well almost anyway.
My exhubby and I basically got married, after being together for 2 years, so that we would have children. He already had a child from a previous relationship and said he wanted to have more and that was fine by me. But unfortunately words and actions can be quite different and after 5 years of marriage we split when he eventually told me he didn't want anymore children. I was 37 and thought that that would be it for me... no kids, I was too old, and as I didn't want to try the hard road of being by myself with a child and really think having 2 parents is important, that was it... or so I thought.
Luckily in the space of several months after separating I meet a fantastic bloke and after 2 great years we have decided to try. Unfortunately we have just lost our baby, after 14 weeks pregnancy, and i am 40 in 3 weeks time but we are both not giving up... we will try again.
I guess what I'm trying to say is, life is for living... you seem to have thought about all the good and bad. You know the your partnership may or may not last (hey lets face it there are a whole lotta couples out there like that, nothing is set in stone, even good couples often fail!), but you may also find that this could be the making of it.
At 40 you dont have a whole lot of time left to try and even the trying may take a long while, and even getting pregnant is often only half the battle, making it thru is the other half, and that can get harder with age.
The advantage of being 40 is that life has probably taught you that there is a whole lotta stuff to learn about having a child , it takes huge work and will be tough. BUT you have an advantage over some younger mums... life experience, just being aware of what it can entail (yes it is mind boggling!) will prepare you for what will happen.
Discuss it with your partner again... if he really does want children, then he needs to seriously think and make a decision soon. Dont bottle it up and worry yourself to death, I did that for a long time and the best you can do is at least get it out in the open.
Children should be something you should both want and are something to be celebrated and enjoyed. If you do both want them, then you can work out the other issues... most things can be solved with some clear talking and a bit of negotiation, just by yourselves or get in a person to help.
Good luck and i wish you all the best in however you decide... I'll be thinking of you!

Edited by Rashika

Hey Bubbles... You'll get it figured. Tis hard when you are going thru a heap of changes, but keep talking to each other cos that is half the battle.
Distraction is a very easy way to forget what is important... or at least put off a decision till we think we are settled enough, for some of us that time never comes.
But i reckon you'll get there