Due date of a lost little one

Sorry for your loss Amelia. It's incredibly hard.
when our baby's due date came around last november, we took our girls off to our city lookout, had fish n chips on the boot of our car together. We had each picked out a special balloon for our baby, and had them filled with helium and put on ribbons. After our dinner, we got out our balloons as the sun was setting, the girls told us messages they wanted to put on the balloons for their baby, then in their own time they let it go. Me and mike wrote our messages on our balloons, and he read out a poem i had found (i couldn't read it). and then at the end we let ours go.

We had found it incredibly hard as i had rushed to my grandad a few days before and had been there when he passed and my baby's due date was the day he was buried - so we drove home from taranaki that day and mil had collected the balloons and put them in our house for us. We also had a special balloon filed for my grandad which we let off before we let off the baby's one.

I have a special memory box - with everything inside it from our baby, from the POAS test, to the preggy journals, to photos from around that time, to pictures my girls had drawn for their baby, to poems i had written or found. There is a space in there waiting for our baby, yet still i have not brought myself to put baby in there, and sometimes i feel that it is still a bad omen hanging over us for not having moved on.

I do know that you can approach some local crematoriums and they will cremate the remains for a small fee of around $60 - $70. This is an idea we are thinking of.   

We too had been going to bury baby, however when the time came, we discussed and couldn't do it - 1) because we are renting so would have to bury it in a pot - so some idiot would probably steal it. 2) because if the plant it was burried under died, i would be upset, and then also as mike brought up 3) neither of us could face the thought of having to put our baby outside so to speak.

I hope you find some way of doing something special, it's important to get some closure, just remember though that while you might be ready to do so, hubby might not be. Take your time.

thanks guys!
I think the fact that Im owrrying about where to bury her means I'm not ready. Like I keep thinking what if someone comes and steals here lil gravestone, what if a dog comes and digs her up, what if we plant her under a tree and the plant dies or gets teared down or something...maybe its kind of like getting pregnant again, theres a 'right time' and you just know. so I guess Ill just wait for that time to arrive!

I thought that it was good too. The weird thing is, where we chose to let them off - you could see them float off over the city from the way the wind was blowing, and as we let my grandads go, we wtched it float away - and the girls saw theirs float away, but mine and mikes flew upwards and then just vanished - they didn't pop cos we watched them the whole time, they just weren't there all of a sudden? Was kinda weird but kinda nice too.

Will bump the poem thread that is in here for others to add to, or to use any they wish - i think the one we used for the balloons is in there - very fitting.

yea I guess I was lucky we got to keep her. Most people that miscarry early, the embryo just sort of dissolves and so you don't notice it come out. Somehow ours didn't and she came out, so tiny, with her placenta (that was bigger). Still so tiny, small anough to fit safely in my palm. As awful as it sounds, she came out in the toilet. I got her out and had to call the nurse (I was in hosp at the time) and the nurse took her off me and attempted to not let me look...which was a bit pointless really as I had already picked her up myself. My hubby is Maori and part of the culture is that after giving birth you keep the placenta and bury it, so we 'played the Maori card' as he said, and made sure the nurse had strict orders that we were to get her back before we even let her leave the toilet!

Her due date went alright, we didn't do anything that special in the end. Just bought some flowers and put them unedr a special bush outside and had a wee cry. In the end it was better not to pressure ourselves about burying her. I've figured out there's no rush.
So thanks!