Getting worse before it gets better?

I was told by the family centre that I had PND when Corban was about 12 weeks old but didn't really think I did and never saw the DR about it. I was just really tired as Corban has always been a terrible sleeper, but now that he is sleeping a little better (only wakes once or twice a night instead of the previous 5-6 times ) I'm still not feeling much better.

Thing is I'm not tearful, don't you have to cry all the time to be depressed??? I just feel flat and so very tired. I have little motivation to do anything. I'm very short tempered and find myself getting angry at Corban for just doing normal baby things like refusing to eat or throwing his food around. I use to be an intelligent career woman and now my brain is mush, I struggle to remember what I was going to say halfway through a sentence, even reading back through this what I've writen doesn't make any sense!

I think maybe I'm just bored, to be honest being a SAHM isn't really me but don't want to go back to work as I feel guilty a.) because I should enjoy it and b.) that financially lucky for us it is not a necessity and I know how many mothers would love to be able to stay home if they could afford to.

DH doesn't think I should go back as I struggle to get through the day now without having a sleep in the afternoon and the housework gets on top of me, so how on earth would I cope having to work part time as well??

I'm not keen on medication as I'm still breastfeeding. I don't know what I'm asking really....

You sound alot like I was as well, I cried a few times but not constantly, mainly I got short tempered, frustratd, unmotivated, feeling unhappy alot. I didn't want meds either and manged to get some counselling although it took alot of ringing around before I managed to get some free sessions. The counselling helped me understand why I was feeling like I was and now I am alot better, I know what to try and avoid and I try and be more relaxed.

I would suggest you try and get some counselling and maybe talk through your thoughts about going back to work and then you can decide if you think it will help or not. I do know what you mean about the brain not functioning properly and I do miss work in that sense sometimes. Although I have resigned from my work they will let me work from home part time so DH and I are discussing that as I have to make sure that it doesn't put too much pressure on me and bring the PND back.