PND and (or) PTSD and subsequent children

Hi Amelia! I keep meaning to post an update on 'Just Breathe' but havent got around to it lately, my bad!

I too had PSTD from hideous birth with Isla, and later got bad pnd and was hospitalised also.
I feel I was completely recovered just over a year ago, and was even able to return to part-time work last Jan.

4 weeks ago we had another baby, a wee brother for a delighted big sister!

It was a totally different experience- I planned it all that way. I studied and practiced hypnobirthing techniques, accupressure, positive affirmations. I wrote detailed plans for each person who would be present at the planned homebirth- Im still freaked out about having to go to hospital so decided I would be better off birthing in my own home environment. I detailed exactly what I wanted each person to do at each stage, even down to what food I wanted mum to get for me, what i wanted her to add to my bag if we did have to go to hospital, plans for isla;s care etc etc. We all had a meeting so everyone knew what each person would be doing and everyone knew exactly what I wanted. It was my show after all!
Everything went great- I had a 9 hr labour at home, the last hr and birth was in hospital cos there were muconium in the waters, but it was always the plan to go to hospital at any stage that it becme safer to be there, so I didnt freak out. Aiden was born with no drugs at all, and I didnt even get a scratch! He was 8lb14 too with a 37 cm head.
I was told my problems with Islas birth were beacuse she was too big for me,...she was 8lb6 with the same size head and same length, so I now know that wasnt the case at all! Her labour was 24 hrs long, I had 2 epidurals cos the first one was put in too far, I had drips with fluid, and drugs to speed up contractions, another drug to make them stronger, a catheter, and eventually a vontouse delivery where they thought her shoulder broke- it didnt, but she was rushed to the other side of the room, so no skin to skin ect. I had 3 seperate rows of stiches- that the Ob started without giving me local anaestic which I had requested, so it was agony.
With Aiden he was immediatly placed on my chest- he stayed there for over 1 1/2hrs before he was measured/weighed etc. He did the breast crawl and self latched on to breastfeed.
It was all so natural, so perfect and a million miles form the hideous time last time. Its still early days pnd wise. Im fine so far, but have so many extra supports in place this time which is invaluable.

Sorry for the massive noval, but I hope sharing my story gives u hope that things can definatly be so diff and soooo much better!

Linzy I'm exactlt the same!! I'd love to have 3 kids, but the idea of going through PND again scares the crap out of me!! I had it mild with Brenna (wasn't diagnosed cause I thought how I was feeling was 'normal' for mums...how wrong I was! lol).
After Ellie my PND was horrible...panic attacks ruled my life. A friend suggested today that everything we've been dealing with to do with Ellie probably hasn't helped, but I'm still to scared to go down that road again. Not only would I be worried about PND, but also worried about there being something wrong with my baby. It's such a hard decision!!!

I didn't want any more kids after my experiences with my first... so I freaked out when I found out I was "accidentally" pregnant.

BUT I made all these contingency plans and made sure I would have heaps of support etc, and the whole pregnancy, birth and baby were so different. It was a completely different experience and I really enjoyed it. I had my down days, but nothing like when I was suffering full on PND. I have been on meds the whole time though.

Good luck making your decisions, I hope it all works out for you. Make sure you get heaps of supportive people around you for the months after the birth!

Hi I have 4 beautiful children and suffer from depression and anxeity. It has been a huge thing each time we had a baby. My first child it was hell on earth for the first year, I had no support even from my partner at the time. I didn't know I had pnd just thought I was a bad mother. Baby no 2 came along unplanned with DH as i didn't want anymore children after the first. But my DH was the one who picked up my depression with no 2. Was bad at first but went on meds. Went off meds to have no 3 and crashed big time. Went back on meds for no 4 and stayed on whole pregnancy and after birth. Im still struggling with anxeity and had to stop bf and increase meds but im managing . Got a good DH and doctor.

Hi Larrl,
I can relate and sympathise with your experiences. I had 3 children in 3 years, youngest is now 15 months. Like you I had anxiety and depression before having children, and it persisted through the pregnancies, though fluctuating. Like you I always felt like a bad mother, so useless that I couldn't keep up with other mothers, and I still do. I don't spend a lot of time with anyone but my children, which may be the problem. I know this "useless guilty" attitude is getting me no where, I just don't know how to snap out of it. Hope things start getting better for you, I'm sure we're not the only ones.

DH has said to me that he doesn't want anymore kids . I have always wanted 3 and even started thinking that 4 might be nice. His main objection really is the PND, he has bore the brunt of it for nearly 3yrs until I was recently diagnosed officially and went on meds. He doesn't want to put up with the sh*t again. I don't want to start trying for at least another year but I feel so sad that he has said no. I do have time to talk him into it but just feel a little down about it all

aw babe thanks so much for sharing your story- it was really good of you to be so honest!- did you say on/ go on meds next time round? If so do you think it helped?

I think it's really hard (and can really hurt!) when our loved ones don't like the idea of another baby cuz of PND/PTSD/psychosis etc. I knew it could be a problem but to hear DH voice that...it really hit home how hard it has been for us all. BUT in saying that I also feel like having babies is a part of ME, I've wanted a big, loud, messy family for as long as I could remember, and so I think my journey with PND/PTSD won't end til I have another baby (although I accept it might make the journey longer)

Linzy- I think time will be a good healer for you DH to come around to the idea of another one

OK so DH has pretty much said yes to another baby, well his only objection/worry was that he wants a girl and if we don't have a girl will he want #4!!

Anyway so now I am worried I am being selfish in wanting another baby since I have PND. I would say that my PND is pretty mild, I am on 20mg Citalopram a day and since starting it (Feb 2010) I have been really good. I have had some bad days but what I would class as standard bad days that anyone would have. So should I be "allowed" to have another baby since I have PND? What if is comes back or stays? Is that fair to others - DH, baby, my boys, family etc?
Plus I just found out from Mum today that my doctor is retiring at the end of July , he has been my dr my entire life, he delivered me. I have been really comfortable talking to him about the PND, but now I am worried about continuity of care.

Oh the things we worry about!

Hey Amelia.

Good on you for coming on here and sharing your feelings and being brave enough to ask for advice.

I would say, try not to let you history with PND and PTSD worry you too much. As you said, surely some people have had more kids and not had the same issue again, which from some people I know from PND support group, can happen. Having another baby and having no issue with PND or PTSD coming back. Also, you could go to counselling and work through things before you try or while you are trying or even when you are UTD again in the future and work through your feelings as they come up. Medication while pregnant can help too I have heard to avoid PND with #2.

Hope that helps.

Newlywed. I think PND is something that develops after birth of baby and PTSD can have something to do with the birth or even the pregnancy, like I bad pregnancy or horrible birth experience. At least that's my understanding of the difference between the 2.

Just updating - Tyler was 5 months yesterday and I'm still PND free I see it lurking there when I get tired but I'm not on meds and am coping well (ok so not SO well some days but thats life ). Hope y'all are doing ok.