How is everyone coping?

ScaredyKat. Have you done any reading online about Anxiety?

I find, understanding anxiety completely, helps at least a little. I know this is a good site: Anxiety help

Just another thing, anxiety is actually a very normal feeling and it's totally natural and everyone experiences. It's just that those of us who experience it more intensely have a heightened awareness and we get overwhelmed by it. If this strategy helps try reminding yourself, you are not in danger, the past dictates that you have never come of harm or worse while having these attacks of anxiety and the past is also proof you do come out of it and do cope and can cope. If you can try and remember these things and remind yourself of these facts, it may help. It's kind of practicing CBT(cognative behaviour therapy) on yourself using these techniques.

Hope that helps. I'm always here to listen if you ever want to message me privately too.

Edited by escadachic

mummyslittlewhirlwind wrote: I still haven't been invited to the FB group!

Oh I didn't realize your actual name, til I looked on your profile on here. Have added you now

Edited by escadachic

Our FB group

It has now been changed so you can find it. So feel free to request to be added. It's still private though, so our posts can't be read by others.

Hey we understand

Migraines, they are not fun at the best of times and I feel they can easily tip us over the edge. It's like, everything is too much when you've got a major migraine and kids, they are so much harder to tolerate when you are feeling in pain like that.

Why do you feel guilty? Is it feeling guilty for feeling so low?

As it's ok to not cope. It's ok to have a bad day or even a bad week. It's absolutely normal. Well in my world it is.

You're not going crazy I assure you. But I know that feeling, of feeling like you are going crazy. I've been in that places a few times in the last few months. And with the guilt too.

Snide comments when you are already not feeling so great, I find they easily push you over the edge(not you, I mean people in general who get down)

I've just been dealing with some horrible comments about myself in the last day. Not good.

It's easy to envy what others have. That's human nature too. And try not to feel like less, because you didn't have that natural birth. Most of my friends have had c-sections or assisted delivery, so you are not alone in not having your desired birth.

Good that you have reached out for help at least here.

I'm not sure where in NZ you are, but there are some great crisis and helplines you can call when you are feeling so over it all. I know, I have called them a few times in the last few months.

Kids. I have 2 of them and yup I can so relate to not being able to stand them and just not coping.

I'm here if you need to vent anyway. You are welcome to P.M through my profile if you like.

Family, they are good at being pretty insensitive and upsetting. I have had my fair share of that from my family.

Oh that sucks you are unable to have anymore. That must be hard.

Yeah it's a bit insensitive for your DH to share that info. I'd feel embarrassed too.

So many people don't get PND or else totally take it the wrong way. Thinking people with PND do crazy things, like try killing their kids, due to news overseas blaming PND in some women for such tragedies.

Nothing wrong with asking how your brothers baby is.

People can be very indifferent I find, when they know you are PND.

But PND doesn't mean we are not right or nutty or anything. It just means our hormones went a bit nuts due to pregnancy and childbirth and it takes a while to get back to ourselves.

It's really common. Just a lot of people have too much pride and don't admit to it.

Just make sure you are seeking as much help and support as you can now.

I lack support and help big time after having my 2nd and still lack support and help to some degree. This being why I have bouts of severe depression. Though at the moment I'm doing well.

I let pride get in my way A LOT and that's not good aye.

Yup! Family put their feet in their mouths a lot. Don't think before the speak or necessarily apply this thing called tact.

Do you have any mental health sector support?

I had 'some' when my youngest was an infant, but that didn't help a lot.

I need some desperately and have done for over a year.

And finally after months of hounding the doctors I have an appointment tomorrow.

Hi everyone. I wasn't diagnosed with pnd with my first but I'm now 100% sure I was. I recovered over about three years but I'm now in my first trimester of my second pregnancy and worried it'll happen again. I think last time I felt so ashamed of myself, like I couldn't admit such a thing to even my husband, so didn't tell anyone what I was feeling. I had terrible thoughts especially in the first 18months, it really effected my relationship with my son. Any advise?

Hi Ladies & Gents (if there are any here),
Im not quite sure that I have PND but I thought that by coming here and writing things down and possibly hearing what some of you guys have to say I may get some answers.
Im a long time lurker of the forum - first time poster.
Ok so here goes - forgive me if I end up on a long winded tangent!

I had my beautiful daughter in October 2012. She was a surprise and although initially I was shocked I soon realised how much I wanted a baby. I soon got excited and when the 12 wk scan came back clear I shouted from the rooftops about being pregnant. Except it didnt last. By about 20 weeks I was feeling sad all the time, fighting with my partner and not really coping too well with all the changes that were going on in my body.
I spoke to my LMC (who was amazing) about these feelings and my partner spoke to her also about it. At the time we put it down to homesickness as Im from overseas and we have no family here in CHCH. Things got a wee bit better after I spoke to my LMC and I started to feel happy again. I got sad again at about the 30 week mark and my gp took note and told me to contact her if I continued to stay that way. The problem is that I was going from High to Low in a matter of days and decided that it must be hormones.
My daughter was born via emergency c-section - it was scary and traumatic and my partner and i were totally not prepared for that to happen. Again my midwife was amazing and spoke to us both about why on many occasions over the following 6 weeks.
I definately had the blues in the days following the birth - my mum and dad came to visit from overseas and I thought that I was getting through it with their support.
Its now 5 months on and every weekend without fail I have a fight with my partner. We both cry and we both feel bad and guilty and I have twice now gotten in the car and driven away...leaving him with our beautiful girl and no notion of where ive sped to or when Im coming back.
He works so hard at being a dad and works so hard at being a partner. If it wasnt for him Im sure we'd live in a pigsty and be starving. He is amazing but I dont give him half enough credit as I feel so hard done by myself but for reasons I dont know.
I feel sad all the time these days. I cry on a daily basis but try to keep it private as I dont want to scare him or make him feel bad. He tip toes around me sometimes and that drives me even more mad. I just want him to be my partner again...I want to be me again....not just someones mum and not just his stay at home help.
I dont really have anyone to talk to about it. All the other mums I know seem to be doing fine and while we talk about things...no-one has really mentioned the dreaded D word and I feel sometimes like I just have to "keep up with the joneses".
Anyway, Im not even sure if this post is still going or if I should even be posting here.
I hope all of you fabulous mums are doing well. My girl is screaming again so its time to put back on the mummy hat!
S

Hi Escadachic,
Sorry for the slow response. Its been a full on weekend with a sick baby and more rows and arguments. I think however we've had a bit of a breakthrough and I think Im finally being listened to.
I also need to make an appt with the doc and try to talk about it out loud with someone and see what they say.
Thank you so much for responding to me though. I have read through your blog so thank you for that. It has made me feel less alone and today Im having a really good day...despite the baby still being ill and cabin fever setting in. :-D
Im not quite sure Im ready for the FB group just yet...I will keep it in mind however. Its taken me 5 months to get this far!
Thank you again for understanding. It is much appreciated.

Hi everyone. I haven't been on here for quite some time. I really thought I was finally happy. It turns out I still seem to get so worked up over the smallest things. My husband and I got invited to a wedding. He's in the bridal party, I am not. That is not the problem. It's for a couple who I feel have never really liked me. Some things have happened in the past which sort of destroyed my friendship with them. My husband doesn't like what they have done to me but befriends them anyway. I feel like they only invited me because I am the wife of their friend. I feel a duty to go because my dh is going but I really don't want to as I feel like I will be isolated and made to feel ugly as usual. I feel like I shouldn't have to be put through that. I also can't understand why dh would be friends with people who treat his wife so badly. This has started off ww3 at home. Things just keep going round and round in my head. It has really stressed me out to the point where I can't stop thinking about it! Please help me to put things in perspective. What can/ should I do? Is my way of thinking distorted or what?