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babycrazy
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Posted: 12 May 2016 at 7:30pm |
Just checking in to let you know I'm around RD. Today would've been hard xx.
As time has gone on I'm finding it easier to admit when I'm feeling off and even if I don't cry I feel much better just voicing that I'm feeling a bit blah. Just take each day or even hour as it comes. Run with how you're feeling and do what suits you at the time. 😘
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TTC since Oct 2009 4 x DI's failed IVF1 CP & MC IVF2 CP IVF3 Angel baby born 22.3wks
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LP pka Rainyday
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Posted: 12 May 2016 at 7:39pm |
Numb lost heart broken
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6 MC angels DS born 04.01.14 DD born sleeping 09.05.16 22w5d
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babycrazy
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Posted: 12 May 2016 at 7:51pm |
Ugly hun my heart breaks for you. I hate that someone else has to go through this too. It truly is awful.
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TTC since Oct 2009 4 x DI's failed IVF1 CP & MC IVF2 CP IVF3 Angel baby born 22.3wks
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LP pka Rainyday
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Posted: 13 May 2016 at 12:07pm |
Did your milk still come through BC? Sprung a leak this morning at 2am despite having the meds as well as milk stop spray & sage. Boobs definitely not as sore as when My milk came through with my son which is a small consolation. Having some time completely on my own at home. Feel like I can breathe a little. Hubby out with his parents probably the last thing he wanted to do. Don't know why they couldn't find their own way around.
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6 MC angels DS born 04.01.14 DD born sleeping 09.05.16 22w5d
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ytsrik35
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Posted: 13 May 2016 at 2:49pm |
So incredibly sorry for your loss RD. Lots of love.
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babycrazy
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Posted: 13 May 2016 at 3:22pm |
Hmm yes RD my milk did come in despite the meds but maybe not as bad as if I didn't have them. I don't really have anything to compare to. I got really sore but couldn't get much out to relieve it, they were massive though! Ended up going down the cabbage in bra route which worked a treat. I put it in the fridge and slept with a bra and cabbage for about 3 nights. Also drank sage tea and the max amount of vit c I could take a day. According to my midwife the meds they give you for it are pretty intense and can cause phsycotic (spelling!) episodes in people, luckily not with me but had known I wouldn't have bothered especially since it didn't really work. Glad you've got some breathing space, although yes I'd imagine your hubby didn't really want to be spending his day out.
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TTC since Oct 2009 4 x DI's failed IVF1 CP & MC IVF2 CP IVF3 Angel baby born 22.3wks
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LP pka Rainyday
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Posted: 13 May 2016 at 4:58pm |
Might have to get a cabbage. My son has been saying "little baby?" So hard to say, "not anymore darling, Micah has gone to heaven" My son was very emotional yesterday but his usual self today which is great. Broke my heart again when he saw Dh & I bawling and his little face crumbled.
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6 MC angels DS born 04.01.14 DD born sleeping 09.05.16 22w5d
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babycrazy
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Posted: 13 May 2016 at 5:58pm |
Highly recommend cabbage RD. It was the one thing that turned me round boob wise. Watching your son see your pain would be very hard. I found it awful watching my mum deal with it all. It made me hold back because I didn't want her to worry.
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TTC since Oct 2009 4 x DI's failed IVF1 CP & MC IVF2 CP IVF3 Angel baby born 22.3wks
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LP pka Rainyday
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Posted: 13 May 2016 at 7:17pm |
Grief is such an odd thing. I've found myself reassuring people that I'm ok when I'm far from it
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6 MC angels DS born 04.01.14 DD born sleeping 09.05.16 22w5d
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babycrazy
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Posted: 13 May 2016 at 8:08pm |
Ah yeah me too. People would see me and cry giving their condolences and I'd do everything I could to try and make them feel better. Was blimming tiring to say the least. I found it easier at the start just to say I was ok so the fussing would stop. Lately as time has gone on I've been able to admit when I'm not ok and that actually helps me calm down because I get really wound up trying to keep it together sometimes. Grief is crazy weird.
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TTC since Oct 2009 4 x DI's failed IVF1 CP & MC IVF2 CP IVF3 Angel baby born 22.3wks
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LP pka Rainyday
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Posted: 14 May 2016 at 9:25am |
Just us at home now. I'm so relieved. Awful nightmares last night. In my half awake state I started to panick about Micah being buried. It took everything I had to try and picture her snuggled up with my nana instead. The mind does some weird things.
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6 MC angels DS born 04.01.14 DD born sleeping 09.05.16 22w5d
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GEONC
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Posted: 14 May 2016 at 11:48am |
So glad you can now follow your own path while you grieve your beautiful Micah. She is tucked into Nanas arms feeling all your love surrounding her
Edited by GEONC - 14 May 2016 at 11:48am
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LP pka Rainyday
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Posted: 14 May 2016 at 3:44pm |
Big meltdown, cuddles, kisses and chats with DH this afternoon. Was very therapeutic. Im glad we can talk very openly with each other. He's a blessing that man.
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6 MC angels DS born 04.01.14 DD born sleeping 09.05.16 22w5d
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babycrazy
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Posted: 14 May 2016 at 5:47pm |
I'm glad you had DH to help you through today's rough patch. I've had a few meltdowns driving home from work and always feel better after. Sorry you've had nightmares especially when you need all the sleep you can get right now. Wish I had the magic trick that would be able help you feel ok again, keep grieving how you feel you need to Hun xx
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TTC since Oct 2009 4 x DI's failed IVF1 CP & MC IVF2 CP IVF3 Angel baby born 22.3wks
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LP pka Rainyday
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Posted: 15 May 2016 at 7:48am |
It's seems the simplest of things set me off. Brushing my teeth before bed last night Changing my sons nappy this morning and trying to read him his stories. How can I manage going to work and doing the daycare run!?
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6 MC angels DS born 04.01.14 DD born sleeping 09.05.16 22w5d
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babycrazy
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Posted: 15 May 2016 at 8:32am |
Hun maybe put off going to work for a bit longer if you're not feeling up to it. I went back after a week but only because I felt ready to, if you're not then don't. You're entitled to take time to work through this. I just went back because sitting at home with time to think was doing my head in and I was starting to not want to leave the house. And for me being a teacher at that time it was almost school holidays so I only had to get through two weeks then had another break. I cried daily at first, usually at night when I'd get to bed and think. Can someone else handle the day care run for you initially?
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TTC since Oct 2009 4 x DI's failed IVF1 CP & MC IVF2 CP IVF3 Angel baby born 22.3wks
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LP pka Rainyday
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Posted: 15 May 2016 at 10:26am |
Yesterday was pretty good in the scheme of things and today is just plain sh*t. So I'll worry about all that hard stuff when I feel a little better!
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6 MC angels DS born 04.01.14 DD born sleeping 09.05.16 22w5d
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babycrazy
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Posted: 15 May 2016 at 10:47am |
Good think RD.
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TTC since Oct 2009 4 x DI's failed IVF1 CP & MC IVF2 CP IVF3 Angel baby born 22.3wks
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LP pka Rainyday
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Posted: 15 May 2016 at 6:28pm |
Dh going to work for couple of hours tomorrow just to see people but won't be doing any teaching. Probably a good way to do it. Not too much pressure on him. He seems to be doing really well .
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6 MC angels DS born 04.01.14 DD born sleeping 09.05.16 22w5d
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babycrazy
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Posted: 15 May 2016 at 6:42pm |
Very good way to do it RD - often seeing people for the first time is hardest. Once I got that out of the way at work I felt better about going. Men 'do' grief differently. Mine was just so concerned for my mental and emotional well being rather than anything else. He seemed ok but one night came home after drinking with a friend and admitted it had hit him harder than he thought it would. He's put it in its place so to speak though. It happened and that's, that. He however never went through the physical aspect like I did so it's only natural. Your DH will have moments like you he just may not show you because he'll want to protect you.
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TTC since Oct 2009 4 x DI's failed IVF1 CP & MC IVF2 CP IVF3 Angel baby born 22.3wks
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