Blame on me...

It sounds incredibly unhealthy for your relationship that he is "blaming" you for not getting pregnant as yet.
I find that absolutely horrible. And you are right, you should be getting support at this time, not blame.

I'd be rethinking the idea of having a kiddo with him too... because if this is just the start of a wider 'guilt' game then it isn't going to end once you are pregnant

He really needs to know that he is hurting you with this.

I hope you can sort it out! And it isn't your fault. It isn't anyone's fault. I'd hate to see you take this on board as your "problem"

xoxoxox


P.S. I just read that you have a child from a previous relationship. Maybe he's feeling insecure about the fact that you were able to get pregnant to another man??? Or maybe that he's still got some issues regarding your child...? I know that my partner and I have a few issues due to the fact that Han isn't his... and that means that he can behave in utterly ridiculous ways sometimes as a mask for his other feelings... not that it excuses his behaviour! but might mean you can address some of the other stuff...?

Edited by nikkiwhyte

I think that your other half is being very insensitive. Even if you do have a medical problem it isn't anyones fault. Personally i would be very pi**ed off if my partner said this to me. I took 7 years to fall pregnant and we both had the test and came back fine, just one of those unexplained infertility. I don't think that it is healthy in a relationship to place the blame on either party.

Maybe he is just feeling insecure, but i think it is an issue you need to deal with before you have your test.

Laura

Oh Kim... I'm sorry to hear about that. I hope you can find some friends to come around and give you the hugs and stuff (read: love and chocolate) that you need. xoxox

Oh I've just read this so sorry
Like AnnC we are all on here to help you thru

You are all so awesome. It is so hard to go through a relationship break up. We have only been married for 9 months and Im just devastated.

I cant believe it. Im so dehydrated from crying, my whole life has been turned upside down for both me and my son...

Oh hun from the sounds of things you deserve WAY WAY better than him. Its awful that you have to go thru this, but at least now you have seen his true colours. No man should ever be able to make you feel as if it is your fault for not producing a child for him. I would say that he was feeling very inadequite, despite having tests come back ok. My DF had a perfectly normal test, then two months later they asked for a re-test, and lo and behold virtually sterile. Either way, it is no-ones fault, and it is completely unacceptable for him to put that on you. It is a load you each share equally, and in our position, we wouldn't wish it any other way. That is how it should be in a relationship, an equal partnership, good or bad. Isn't that what wedding vows are all about?

You take extra good care of yourself, it is obvious to me that you are a fab, caring, lovely person. So my advice (for what its worth) is to spend time on your son, and yourself, and work towards seeing yourself as we see you. You deserve more than that, and I have no doubt that you will get it.

If he cannot see what we do, then it is entirely his loss. I know this will be very hard, I'm certainly not discounting that. But I believe you have the strength to get thru it and come out on top.

Hang in there luv, and feel free to vent, we are all here to listen. Take care of yourself, remember to drink extra to replace the tears, and remember to eat something even if you don't really feel like it. I know it can be hard to remember to do these things when you have that swirling around in your head, but you will feel the better for it in the long run.

Big  to you. Hang in there.

I just read your post, and big to you...I really don't know what to say other than that we are all here for you and that make sure you give yourself plenty of breathing space to process all this. I'm in Motueka if you ever feel like a drive and a visit!

 Big hugs love, Im sorry to hear you are going thru a rough time of it. Just remember we are all here for you, even if it is only online

hugs for you. as for blaming you? grrrrrrr.