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astral_monkey 
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Joined: 06 March 2009
Location: South Auckland
Points: 765
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 Posted: 08 June 2010 at 2:39pm |
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I have a few fertility issues, which mean conception is not a guarantee and if we do get pregnant there's an increased risk of miscarriage and other things going wrong.
So far I've told a friend (who has a similar condition), my mum and one of my sisters (the nosiest). I wouldn't be surprised if my other two sisters and dad knew, but we're not telling DH's family yet.
We've also decided if/when we get pregnant we're going to hold off telling them until the 12 week mark (due to risk of MC etc). I'm a little worried my MIL will be hurt that we're not telling her. DH says she will be okay as long as we explain why we waited to tell them.
I just can't deal with the questions, and DH's ENTIRE family knowing (he's got a huge family, who are all really close and know each others business). They've all been asking how far away kids are since we got engaged and none will be surprised when it actually happens, but in the meantime I'd rather brush their queries off with a vague "one day" or "we're still practicing" than explain the inner-workings of my fertility issues.
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CarleyRose
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Joined: 21 May 2010
Location: Just North of Dunedin
Points: 1128
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Posted: 11 June 2010 at 12:53pm |
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Our close friends and family know, i think it was easier them knowing than asking us questions all the time, "when are you two going to have children!" It gets harder and really frustrating when they ask us that, and it wasn't once...it was all the time!
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TTC Sept08 July10 FS APP ICSI#1 BFN-No frosties ICSI#2 BFN-2 Frosties FET-8th August - BFP 20/8/12 
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SnuggleBear
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Joined: 18 May 2009
Points: 1622
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Posted: 13 June 2010 at 11:15am |
i told lots of people mainly cos i thought TTC would be a clinch!! ha! what a mistake!...the longer it took us the more antsy and hurt i would get at well-meaning inquiries by friends....next time we're keeping it very hush hush...well except for OB ladies 
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Ds1 - 20 months old
Ds2 - 4 months old
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CrazyCass
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Joined: 13 August 2010
Location: Rotorua
Points: 810
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Posted: 22 September 2010 at 2:44pm |
UI've told a couple of close friends, and a workmate. We've decided to not tell our families till after the 12 week mark. My poor cousin feel Preggo then had a MC the weekend after, it was the worst thing for my Aunty having to ring round and tell everyone (not to mention how my cousin felt!)
I know my mum esp will be hurt, but luckily for me I live a 3 hour drive away, she never rings & I can be pretty vague on the phone. She doesnt like my DF family much so she never asks about grandkids! 
Plus my younger sister is preg with No.2 so everyone around us is super focused on her again which suits us just fine.
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Vanillabean
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Joined: 17 January 2008
Location: Wellington
Points: 462
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Posted: 22 September 2010 at 5:01pm |
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I pretty much tell everyone that we are planning to start TTC#2 soon. I guess I feel that I want to be open about the troubles I had TTC#1 so that people are exposed to the idea that when or if you have a baby is not something that you really have that much control over.
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5x mc, Jan 08, June 08, Nov 08, May 09, April 11
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babycrazy
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Joined: 07 August 2010
Points: 7597
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Posted: 22 September 2010 at 5:40pm |
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I've lost track of who does and doesn't know! I have quite a bit circle of people who I consider close friends and some of us are trying at the same time. It was nearly 6mths of ttc before my mum found out (she was so excited!). DH's family also knows.
If it comes up in conversation I just say I'm working on it (lots of people know I want kids but DH was reluctant) and let people take what they like from that.
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BabyRixon
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Joined: 29 April 2010
Location: Auckland - Hibiscus Coast
Points: 112
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Posted: 01 October 2010 at 4:46pm |
I've been really open about TTC. Now I'm sick of people asking "are you UTD yet?" which is silly because all it shows is that they care 
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snugglebug
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Joined: 24 June 2009
Location: North Shore
Points: 2146
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Posted: 03 October 2010 at 9:13am |
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When we were TTC I told some close friends, my Mum and my cousin, but then it just got out there and people were asking me constantly are you pregnant yet? And seeing as it took 9 months I got tired of the questions and became a bit defensive.
I think next time I won't tell anyone. It's a personal choice but yeah it can be a bit complicated when it doesn't happen as quickly as you'd expect.
Now Im pregnant I'm open with people about how long in took so that they can either be prepared that when they try it doesn't always happen overnight (I thought it would) or that they can not feel bad if it took long for them.
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Me 28, DH 29 DS born 20 Nov 2010 (4 years old) #2 due October 7 
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Sez26
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Joined: 30 December 2009
Location: Upper Hutt, NZ
Points: 60
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Posted: 04 October 2010 at 10:11am |
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First baby, didn't tell anyone until we conceived and then told family immediately and friends after 1 trimester. TTC now and I've told only one friend - she put me on the spot, and I ended up telling her. Wish I hadn't because there's now one more person that has to be told every month when we don't conceive. It's hard enough having to give your partner the bad news.
Then again... got AF this morning and just feel like crying all day and wish that I could just phone my sister and mum and have a vent. Maybe I will tell them...?
Personal choice really what ever feels right for you and your partner.
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Telling people you are TTC
