Thanks Merlin! I'm sorry for everything you've gone through, sometimes life just dishes up too much doesn't it
I really appreciate you sharing your experiences with AD's. My doctor has taken me off them and I feel better since I've been working on my Vitamin D, Moving more and like you say - just being nice to myself. Some times everything is so busy and hectic around me that I forget about me, and that's when things generally get worse as I get really tired.
I feel like this grief goes in cycles - I'm just so up and down, I'll walk around for days on end covered by a dark cloud, and then I'll be sort of ok for a few days, then out of nowhere it hits me again. It's really frustrating because as soon as I think I'm on the mend, soon I'll find myself going downhill again.
I found out yesterday that my baby was, as suspected, a little boy. Dp and I went and sat down by the lake in Takapuna at sunset and opened up the envelope which my doctor had sent with the info. It was a special moment although very sad. We always talked about him as boy.
Dp said that it's like we already knew him even though we never got to meet him. It's amazing that we just knew. Surprisingly I'm ok in knowing that, and it's helped me make peace knowing we were right.
I think there's alot of roller coaster rides yet to come, but I'll keep up with the healthy living and counseling and hopefully things will be on the up soon
Thanks again to all of you xx