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Stephi View Drop Down
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    Posted: 13 December 2010 at 3:35pm
I posted this up in the pregnancy section but down here seems much better suited :D Sorry if this is long :( But just wanting some advice or support! :)

Before I got pregnant, I was on medication for anxiety. I get really bad anxiety, to the point where I cant sleep at night and am up having some form of panic attack, so had to leave study unfortuantley and go on the sickness benefit as the DR suggested I didnt work for a while. Then I fell pregnant.

As soon as I found out I stopped my medication because I didnt know what harm it does to bubs. I talked to the doc and she asked if I was doing ok without it which I said yes because at the time I was

But now I dont seem like I am coping at all. But I have heard that the medication I was on can cause premature birth and or late miscarriages. Its a miracle for me that I am pregnant (had unprotected sex with a previous boyfriend for about a year and never got pregnant) and I dont want to risk anything but I think I am at the end as far as coping on my own goes.

I am having serious relationship troubles, to the point where I dont want to be with him anymore, but I dont feel I can leave as we have just moved in to a place together and he is the father of my child and I want my baby to have a dad because I didnt.

Does anyone have any advice on what I should do regarding the medication side and also the relationship part. Its good to hear other peoples perspectives.
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amme_eilyk View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote amme_eilyk Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 December 2010 at 5:15pm
You need to go talk to your doctor about how you are feeling. There are lots of different medications that you can try, some will have greater risks than others. I was on citalopram through most of my pregnancy, I have gone off it as it wasnt working for me and am currently on nothing.

Your doctor/midwife can refer you to maternity mental health which gives you access to free counselling, a psychologist, a psychiatrist and a social worker depending on what your needs are. The psychologist can work with you on managing your anxiety/depression in ways that dont involve medication, or work along side the medication. A counsellor may be really helpful with your relationship issues and concern about your baby having a dad. Remember it is possible for kids to have a dad even when their parents are not together, there are lots of separated families where it works.

My advice is to look after you first. Stress can also impact on bubs as they are exposed to not just your medication, but also your hormones through the blood. As the saying goes, Happy Mum = Happy Baby.
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escadachic View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote escadachic Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 14 December 2010 at 10:47am
I agree with Amme_eily's advice.

And regarding the relationship. If it is really not a good relationship and you are just not happy, leaving would be the best thing. I never is good for women who stay just for the baby. As babies pick up the tension and you and bubs need to be happy. If you can having a good understanding with the Dad, he can still be involved in babies life if that's what you want. But it is far better to get out of a bad relationship now, though it may seem hard and scary. I have been in that position myself with my first child and I am much better off and so is she. It's easier to adapt without a bad relationship. Rather then sticking it out for the baby and then things ending after baby is around and then going solo. But if you think it would help, you could try relationship counselling with your partner.

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Stephi View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Stephi Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 14 December 2010 at 12:03pm
Thanks so much for the advice guys.

I went to the doctor today, she wasnt too impressed with the idea that I wanted to remain on my sickness benefit (hey its not my fault im depressed), but wrote me another medical cert for WINZ and gave me a script for Citalopram. I was on Fluoxetine (Prozac) before but she said that Citalopram is much better if I am wanting to breastfeed with bubs when he/she is born as it doesnt stay in the body as long as the others do.

I am happy that I am back on meds. We discussed the risks versus the benefits and the benefits far outweigh the risks which is so good :D will still be very worried about the risks but if im happy then bubs will be too :)

As for the relationship stuff, I dont really know how I feel about that. I would like to go to counselling for it maybe and sort out what the problem is. We have been good for the last couple of days but guaranteed tomorrow something will go down. He is not abusive or anything, he is just very hard to live with and only really thinks of himself.
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mummytobesep08 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote mummytobesep08 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 14 December 2010 at 1:59pm
Glad to hear you've been to your doctor!

You'll find that there are women out there who take meds while pregnant. I was on Fluox for the first 20 weeks with DD then I came off. I got PND really awfully (which they say you have an increased risk for if you have depression b4 getting pregnant) and they reckon I'll have less of a chance of getting it again if I stay on meds though the next pregnancy so that's probably what I'd do!

Also, there are lots of studies being done of AD's in pregnancy because it's a situation that's happening more and more. There is nothign 100% conclusive about there- some studies show problems, others show none at all. However, what every study agrees upon is that untreated mental illness (like Depression), most definitely DOES affect bubs in a bad way, so keep that in mind

As for your relationship, I agree with what the others have said but just have to add something- pregnancy is hard on a relationship. Hormones and emotions flying everywhere...add to that Depression/Anxiety and it's no wonder you feel the way you do! I'd honestly say not to make any big decision while you are in this hard place. Once you feel better, you might feel differently about DH.

All the best!




Angel babes '07 & '10- <3 <3
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lostAmber View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote lostAmber Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 December 2010 at 8:52am
not in a place to talk right now but just wanted to try and reassure you- I was on citalopram (60mg) from 20wks and am still on it now and my baby is totally fine.
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escadachic View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote escadachic Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 December 2010 at 9:24pm
Oh just wanted to say I found a really good book to read regarding postnatal and pre-natal depression. It's called 'Postnatal Moods - Emotional changes following birth - by Gillian White'. It was written by a New Zealander. It talks about moods during pregnancy too. I've read half of it so far, it's really good.

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote .... Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 January 2011 at 2:17pm
I'm most worried about the birth, and not even the actual birth part, just worried about people seeing the scars on my thighs.
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escadachic View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote escadachic Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 January 2011 at 2:36pm
Is that due to self-harm BecBarrer?

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote .... Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 January 2011 at 2:59pm
Yeah, I hate how people think old scars and fresh cuts are the same thing.
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escadachic View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote escadachic Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 January 2011 at 4:11pm
Well I'm sure they'll be too busy helping concentrate on getting baby out and won't even notice and if they do, hopefully they just ignore them and don't judge.

I too have scars from self-harming, mine are on my wrists and I hate them and sometimes forget they are there and usually worry what people think too. Especially when they know I have children too. I worry they'll think I'm nuts or selfish.

You had your reasons for doing it and that's your business and no-one else's. Usually us women worry about people seeing things and judging and often no-one notices our scars.

Edited by escadachic

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