Anxious kid

Gosh, don't know but sounds like he's got an aversion to going to bed?

What about bach flowers sleep remedy I think it's called?

Where does he sleep when he is at his mums? I'm sure you have already but have you discussed it with her to see if there is any major difference with sleeping arrangements and routines at her place?
What does he say or ask for when he gets up?

Don't be too hard on him, it'll only make him feel worse when he's possibly craving security.
If he's an otherwise well behaved boy then I doubt that it will be behavioural. What's his normal reaction during the day if he doesn't have something his own way?
I started to have sleeping problems at around the same age. There was a lot going on at the time and I felt extremely vulnerable and scared when I was in bed at night. I used to sleep on the floor in mums room or in the hallway. My mother never tried to understand or address the cause of it and instead got irritated and cross with me. It set the wheels in motion for insomnia, depression and anxiety. I'm not saying that your boy will end up like this and not trying to scare you, just advising that you tread with caution (which I think you've been doing) because the vomiting sounds to me like it's more than attention seeking. It's possible that he's scared but is too embarrassed to say what it is out loud. He may have seen something on TV that's made him feel unsafe at night time or that either one of you could get hurt and so on. For whatever reason and as hard as it may be on you for a while, he feels like he needs to be close to you. Try sitting in his room with him until he falls asleep and see if that helps. Take yourself a book or magazine and use the time to relax.

Kristina103761 wrote: I don't know if this article is at all helpful to you but it talks generally about the fear and anxiety of children of varying ages: http://www.accg.net/childfear.htm

your link does not work

Hi, thanks all for the replies. :-)

To answer a few of your questions, we're very careful not to 'molly-coddle' him when he is here, in fact his mother is a softer touch than us (and the boys have happily admitted it lol). His bedtime was 7.30, it's now 8/8.15 with the option to read a book for 20 minutes if he chooses. The other boys are 8 years (same mum and dad) and 11 months (same dad, and me, stepmum), we're generally pretty careful to distribute our attention as evenly as we can, and take turns having one-on-one time with each of the boys. Both the 2 big boys have jobs to do, with the 11 year old doing more due to his age. I'm mindful of balancing being stern and consistent with being supportive without enabling (if that makes sense?) I've worked with a lot of nervy kids as a teacher, but it's always different when it's your own child :-)
He's generally a very happy boy, can be sensitive at times and has an occasional tendency to over-think things. He's always been that way, and according to his grandparents on his mum's side, he's a less-extreme version of her at the same age.   
When he comes out at night, he'll just say that he's having trouble sleeping, or can't sleep, or can't 'turn off' his mind. When we suggest he has a drink of water, or lies down with a soft toy he'll happily do it without fuss, tears or tantrums, hence why I don't think it's attention seeking.

Last week I sat down with him and we talked through what was happening. When I pointed out that people generally only vomit when they're sick and that he wasn't sick, he had a bit of a lightbulb moment and went 'oh yeah!' (should add, he had bad reflux till 3.5 and it still gives him grief when he's tired, and combined with his asthma has meant that on more than one occasion he has coughed until he vomited, or acid has come up) His dad got him to do some positive affirmations throughout the day, and I gave him an exercise to do in bed to help him switch his mind off. So far, so good! We've had 10 days without any vomiting or coming out late at night.
April, thanks for the tip re sitting in his room, will have to keep that one in mind, along with the others like the bach sleep remedy :-)

Here's hoping it keeps our biggest boy happy for a while longer yet!

Hi Jazzy,
He came out again tonight, although I suspect that is due to being overtired from the first week back at school. Haven't tried a reward system yet, but it is on the list of options - great point about the holidays lacking structure!
Thanks for the thumbs up, I appreciate it :-)