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arohanui View Drop Down
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Joined: 16 January 2007
Location: Auckland
Points: 4427 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote arohanui Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Topic: Very early miscarriage
    Posted: 31 March 2013 at 8:40pm
Keen to chat with people who've experienced very early miscarriage, or so called "chemical pregnancy" (I hate that term, sounds like there was never anything there).

I had one early mc before my youngest (I only knew for 2 days before bleeding, and then conceived DS the cycle straight after).

A month ago I had another early mc, I knew for a week before I started bleeding.  It's just happened again this cycle, I knew for 1 week and 2 days.  So that's 3 now.

This time I'm finding myself wishing that the baby had grown for even a week or two more, like somehow then I'd have more right to grieve... like people don't see it as a loss cos it was so early.  Because of the timing this mc I've had to just keep going really, when emotionally all I want to do is stay in bed for a couple of days.
Mama to DS1 (5 years), DS2 (3 years) and...
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tan73 View Drop Down
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Joined: 10 August 2012
Points: 1302 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote tan73 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 31 March 2013 at 10:14pm
Arohanui, I am so sorry for all of your losses. And they are losses, no matter how short the gestation. It is really important that you know this is happening as there are some things they can do to help. I remember with my last pregnancy people telling me I shouldn't have tested so early (11DPO) because if I lost it early, it might not have been any the wiser. But I think that is rubbish. It was still going to be a baby, my baby, no matter how early I lost it. As it was, it hung in there a bit longer, but I did eventually lose it. I hope you find some peace, rest and time to grieve - a little life, not a little loss. xxx


2 Angels - Aug '12 & Mar '13 Always in our hearts.
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Orca1 View Drop Down
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Points: 212 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Orca1 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03 April 2013 at 2:19pm
Hi Arohanui

I think we might have been in the same due in thread for January 2008. We have been trying for 5 years to have #2 and I have had 4 m/c and like you I hate the term "chemical". I don't think it matters at what stage you lose your baby, you know you are pregnant and the minute you find out its all the hopes and possibilities for that child that you lose as well. Not sure that makes sense but thats how I feel.

My thoughts are with you, take time out to grieve when you can.
DD born 2008
Oct 2009, April 2010, Dec 2010, June 2011
7 x IVF/ICSI/PGD = BFN
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Mrs Mac View Drop Down
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Location: Manukau
Points: 433 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Mrs Mac Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 06 April 2013 at 3:53pm
You're right, it's a really demeaning term. It wasn't a "chemical" (imaginary) pregnancy, it was a pregnancy, be it ever so short.
      
Jan '13
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