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Gwen_ View Drop Down
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    Posted: 05 August 2007 at 9:25am
ok as most of your know we lost out bub, and ever since then I have be really down and I thought I was just a bit depressed but now I think its something more, I find it really hard to me around the girls which I hate because I love them so much but I can't help look at them and burst into tears and think what if, and I can't stop sobbing, I look at the girls little new born clothes and baby stuff and I burst into tears!

Any ideas?
We're in America for 3 months with Mummy and Daddy!

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Kellz View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Kellz Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 05 August 2007 at 10:15am
You have been through a really difficult time. So many emotions and feeliings to deal with on top of looking after your wee girls, even before you lost the baby. Im really sorry you are having a hard time.
It will take a while for the raw wounds of your grief to start to heal. The 'what if's' are all part of the process. Talk to your DH, hes probably feeling the same way.
Can you take some timeout?,...go for a picnic with DH and the girls or something and enjoy some nice family time together outside the house. I know it always helps me to get out of the house, and its easier to talk when u dont have to stare at dishes and stuff that u feel like u should be doing!
Hope u feel better soon
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Kels View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Kels Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 05 August 2007 at 10:37am
 Big hugs Luvvy and I hope you start feeling better soon.

Busy mum to Miss 15yrs, Miss 10yrs and Master 4yrs
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Glow View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Glow Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 05 August 2007 at 12:44pm
Sorry to hear of your loss
Talking, timeout & tears all help & I hope things start looking up for you soon
Mummy of Two Boys
B: 2004
K: 2007



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mum2paris View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote mum2paris Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 05 August 2007 at 1:39pm
Can i just say i went through the same thing. It's normal to have reminders or things that trigger you, and well, you have wee young bubs which would be a very constant reminder, that you are probably having to stretch yourself a million ways for anyway.. just one bubs does that but you have 2, so even more tiredness that's gonna be not helping with the coping etc. I still have times where i am like that, even down to little things like finally deciding to yes, get rid of the highchair now.. i was like, well, it should have been being used, yesterday mike said that we will always be relegated to having winter parties cos our girls birthdays are end of may and start of aug.. and straight away it was "we would have had summer parties in november for baby", I found i went a bit like that with the girls i found it hard to be around them and they are bigger, i spose i know what things i'll miss out on, made even harder by knowing when i have already seen of them, so many things that will miss having lost this one, and i won't actually get another chance to have another bub to experience those things another time.

What i found was getting all the reminders together and putting them in the same place.. the sympathy cards, photos of the flowers i got sent, little things i had already bought (not much), preg test etc, even the hospital bracelet i had to wear on the day of my D&C, my scan pics.. and put it all together. not hidden away but not out on show, so i can go and look through it all when i feel i need to. It's all very very recent for you, i can say that it does heal with time but there is always the what-if, imagine how old they'd be, imagine how far along you'd be, imagine life with them.

Crying is ok, what you are going through sounds about the same as what most chickies i have talked to have done. If you do find it worrying you, see someone about it, but definately talk to hubby as well. hugs

Edited by mum2paris
Janine and her 2 cool chicks, Paris & Ayja

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Kellz View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Kellz Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 August 2007 at 2:38pm
How are you feeling today Gwen? Hope you are ok.
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Gwen_ View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Gwen_ Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 August 2007 at 2:46pm
im feeling better thanks just taking each day as it comes
We're in America for 3 months with Mummy and Daddy!

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Kellz View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Kellz Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 August 2007 at 2:51pm
Oh thats good to hear. Im sure it will take a while, but you will get there. Dont ya wish you could take of too a tropical Island for a few days to laze about, be waited on and drink cocktails?!!
Will be cool to meet u and the girls if u make it to the slyvia park meet up next wed!
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Maya View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Maya Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08 August 2007 at 5:24pm
Big hugs Gwen! I hope you guys do make it to Sylvia Park, even tho that bloody hopeless Kellz has decided to go home
For what it's worth, PND is far more common in mums of mutiples, partly because of the greater physical demands having multiples places on you. But it's totally normal to be grieving, in a way I'm still grieving our wee one, and there were times when I resented the gremlins for coming and wanted that baby back instead, then hated myself for having such awful thoughts about my precious wee ones.
I think you have the right idea tho - one day at at time, one step in front of the other. If you feel like it's getting too much, have a chat to your GP, sometimes just talking helps, and he or she will be able to go over things for you.
*goes off to tell that naughty Kellz to take her meds!*
Maya Grace (28/02/03)
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