Ethical Question - What would you do?
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Category: Planning Pregnancy (trying for baby)
Forum Name: Planning Pregnancy (trying for baby)
Forum Description: Trying to get pregnant? Going through fertility treatment? Just planning your first or second child? There are many people out there in the same boat to help and listen and share with
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=12060
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Topic: Ethical Question - What would you do?
Posted By: Joscia
Subject: Ethical Question - What would you do?
Date Posted: 06 November 2007 at 10:44am
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Ok so I have the inevitable work / pregnancy dilemma and it would be good to get some other opinons on the situation. Basically I am being made redundant from my job, finishing up at the end of November. I applied for a new role a few weeks ago and just had my 2nd interview this morning. It went really well and I'd be very surprised if they don't offer me the job. (full time, starting the 1st week of December) I had considered temping for a while, but applied for this job because it sounded interesting and just on the off chance. Having been for 2 interviews now, I actually reckon I could be really good at it and would love to accept it. (Should they offer) Now the thing is, DH and I have just started TTC. There is a chance I could actually be pregnant now - AF is due either today or tomorow... The questions then are - is it ethical for me to accept the job if I suspect that I might be pregnant? Even if AF arrives, should I accept it on the chance that I could conceive next month? If I am pregnant, do I tell them, considering it would be so soon? What would you do?? |
Replies:
Posted By: jack_&_charli
Date Posted: 06 November 2007 at 10:55am
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i would accept the job if you are offered it and see what happens with TTC afterwards. if you are pregnant, i'd wait a while to tell them.
when we started TTC#2 i was looking for a job and actually got one the day after we got our BFP.....i then had to tell them i was pregnant because i broke down in tears one day when things weren't going right 
i was about 11wks then and they said they'd like to find someone else for the job. which was ok with me because i didn't want it anymore anyway........ oh i'm getting away on myself.... if you are pregnant, you'll want some money coming in for the next 7-8mths or so and why not get it from a job that you will enjoy------------- http://www.alternatickers.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: jack_&_charli
Date Posted: 06 November 2007 at 10:55am
oh and good luck with the job and the BFP ------------- http://www.alternatickers.com">
http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: ShellandBella
Date Posted: 06 November 2007 at 10:56am
I wouldn't say anything...a girl at work had the same problem. She had just started at work and then 2 weeks later informed everyone she had 'just' found out she was pregnant (even though she was 14 weeks preggers - I'm picking she knew but didn't want to let on  ) and she worked up to 36 weeks so was still entitled to maternity leave etc. and then had a job to go back to...You have to consider, 9 months is a long period of time and then you have job security too. If you are pregnant, just tell them later on when you're 12 weeks or something and make out like its such a surprise!! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: ShellandBella
Date Posted: 06 November 2007 at 10:58am
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BTW, hope you get your BFP . When are you testing? ------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Joscia
Date Posted: 06 November 2007 at 11:14am
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Thanks for your replies! That's kind of what I'd like to do - accept the role and just see what happens.. I just don't want to mess them around too much though. I had lunch with my old boss the other day and his opinion (speaking hypotheticaly at the time) was that I shouldn't be looking for full time work if we are TTC - that it should be one or the other... But this is the kind of role that I could potentially do from home or part time if neccesary later down the track or with a baby. Plus the money would definitely help! And I'd much rather be doing something that I enjoy... Not sure when I'll test ShellandBella??? Maybe give it a couple more days? Eek!! This is the 1st cycle that we've been trying, so chances are pretty slim, although I have had some weird (possibly imagined) symptoms... |
Posted By: my2angels
Date Posted: 06 November 2007 at 11:16am
| yeah i take it and then just see what happens. I know at my old work a lady took the job and then found out she was pregnant with twins. i know she said that she wasnt trying but not sure if that was the truth or not. either way work were really good about it, these things happen after all. |
Posted By: Bobbie
Date Posted: 06 November 2007 at 11:46am
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We started TTC the same month I started my new job (we had planned the TTC prior to the job coming up) and it took us six months to get there so by that time I was entitled to Mat leave.
It wasn't planned that way but you can't put your life on hold for your career - especially when you have no idea of the timeframe for TTC. I think you are right - take the job and see what happens. I don't think anyone would accuse you of deliberately planning anything as these things can't be planned that carefully (usually). And yeah, you could do work from home or part time if they're keen. Lots of companies are good like that (except mine -Grrr!) Good luck with testing - lots of baby dust your way. -------------  
 
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Posted By: cuppatea
Date Posted: 06 November 2007 at 12:08pm
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We had been TTC when I got offered a job, I took a test it was negative so I accepted the job. I then took another test halfway through working my notice and it was postive. After finsihes my notice it was then another 3 weeks before I started the new job cos we went to the uk and on my first day I told them I was 9 weeks pregnant. They didn't mind, I was entitled to full maternity leave as you only have to with them 6 months at your due date. They also let me take more time off unpaid even though legally they didn't have to. I'm still on maternity leave with them at the moment and am returning in January.
I think it will depend a lot on the employer and whether they think you did it on purpose and just their general attitude towards maternity leave etc. ------------- 
 
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Posted By: Freesia
Date Posted: 06 November 2007 at 1:15pm
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I would say to take the job too. You never know how long it could take you to conceive (hopefully not long) and there's no point putting your career/work on hold on the possibility that you might be pregnant. -------------  
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Posted By: ginger
Date Posted: 06 November 2007 at 2:46pm
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Not wanting to pour cold water on anything, but I went through the same do I/don't I think myself about 18 months ago and decided to go for it with a new job ... and I'm still not pregnant. So, what I'm saying is, I'd go for it, because you just don't know how long TTC may take, and you have to enjoy yourself and make the most of life in the meantime. ------------- Cuinn Lachlan 23.1.09 - 22:00 Antonia Helene 4.8.11 - 09:41 |
Posted By: tishy
Date Posted: 06 November 2007 at 3:41pm
That sounds just like me!  I ended up being 5 weeks pregnant when I started my current job.
Take the job and keep TTCing even if this is a BFN. There's no such thing as a perfect time. |
my2angels wrote:Posted By: emachan
Date Posted: 08 November 2007 at 8:02am
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I would definatley accept the job if it was offered. I am kind of in the same boat, my job is only fixed term at the moment (only part-time permanent) but if I get pregnant I still need a job up until I go on maternity leave which, if I got pregnant soon, would be starting in July next year - just remember, they can't fire you just because you are pregnant, you will still be working at least 6 months...
Good luck on getting the position!!! It sounds really promising!   ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">  DD#1 Sept 08 DD#2 Oct 09 |
Posted By: emz
Date Posted: 08 November 2007 at 9:47am
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I say go for it, if you were pregnant though I would reconsider as we had this same thing happen yesterday at work. The lady is in a position that is quite vital to the running of the business and while work are happy for her, it puts them in a really bad position financially and with having to train a new person. I guess it depends (for me anyway) how vital your role would be. I mean a lawyer's job and a checkout person's job are too completely different things, one can be filled a lot easier IYKWIM. Hope that makes sense?!
Good luck for the TTC journey! I would go for the job and just see what happens. Like ginger said, it could or could not take a while, and you have no idea so you need to keep living life while you're not pg. |
Posted By: Joscia
Date Posted: 08 November 2007 at 10:12am
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Ok - so yesterday they offered me the job!! And I accepted it!! Woohoo! I'm pretty excited - made me realise just how much I did actually want it.
Still no sign of AF though I think I'll test tomorrow morning...
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Posted By: cuppatea
Date Posted: 08 November 2007 at 10:50am
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Well done on the job....if you find out you are pg tell them you got so excited about the new job you forgot to use contraception lol -------------
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Posted By: nictoddie
Date Posted: 08 November 2007 at 11:27am
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Well done, a similar thing happened to me 4 years ago, I demoted myself from a management position and moved back to my home town with my dh with the same company withing weeks of moving back they did this major restructure which they ob knew was gonna happen hence letting me demote, well they then made a heap of management redundant then offered myself and another guy who had also demoted himself as well new management positions, my store manager new I was thinking of starting a family but the HR manager was like who cares if she is the right one for the job give it to her, well I took it and within 3 months I was preggers and worked up till 3 weeks before my due date, good luck with ttc ------------- 
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Posted By: Freesia
Date Posted: 08 November 2007 at 11:40am
Congratulations Joscia  I hope you really enjoy it  -------------
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Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 08 November 2007 at 7:04pm
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Congrats! Yea I wouldn't tell them about TTC as that is very personal and there is no magical time by which you will become pg.
But when you find out you're pg, depending on how things are going, I'd probably tell the boss in private when about 6 weeks pg but say that you're not sure what your plans are ie how long you intend to work and you'd like to keep it quiet until you have passed the (common) first 12 weeks. At that stage you can then announce and have some rough plan in mind in respect to maternity leave and when you want to knock off, and that will keep the boss in the loop in terms of arranging replacement staff while you are on leave. -------------  |
Posted By: mummy_becks
Date Posted: 08 November 2007 at 7:48pm
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I started a new job last year the same weekend that I got pregnant with Josh (who was a big surprise) and they were fine with it when I announced I was pregnant. You will get maternity leave if you have worked for more than 6 months which you will be anyway if you are pregnant now. ------------- I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived! |
Posted By: kabe
Date Posted: 08 November 2007 at 8:01pm
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Congratulations on the new job! If you do test pregnant, it's after you've accepted the job, so technically you didn't know you were pregnant when you accepted the position!
The woman the is covering my maternity leave knew she was pregnant when she took my job, but didn't tell anyone until 6 weeks later. Even though it's inconvenient for the team, everyone was very happy for her, as they had been trying for a baby for some time. ------------- http://alterna-tickers.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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