My rollercoaster ride
Printed From: OHbaby!
Category: Support
Forum Name: Life After Miscarriage
Forum Description: Up to one in five pregnancies ends in miscarriage, yet for many the loss of a pregnancy is isolating and lonely. Share your thoughts and feelings here with others who have experienced loss.
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=17424
Printed Date: 21 May 2024 at 1:46pm
Software Version: Web Wiz Forums 12.05 - http://www.webwizforums.com
Topic: My rollercoaster ride
Posted By: AN E
Subject: My rollercoaster ride
Date Posted: 21 May 2008 at 1:04am
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OK, so it's been a busy and stressful last few weeks. Here is a run-down of my diary:
Thur 1 May: Took DD to doctor for a cold, and realised that I hadn't had AF. Not too sure on dates, but I was regular, and it hadn't turned up. Pregnancy test came back negative. Kind of glad, as only just getting back into working 3 days a week, and DD is full-on. Fri 9 May Still no AF. HPT - I'm pregnant!!!! Shock!!!!! What to tell DH??? Told DH after cooking him a nice meal that night. Both in shock, but happy. Plans on what we need to get, re-arrange house etc... Tues 13 May Got up to DD in middle of the night and noticed some spotting. A little concerned, but went back to bed. Not much I could do. Wed 14 May A bit more spotting and period like cramps. Didn't think the pregnancy was going to stick. Both DH and I were having a very busy and stressful week at work as we were due to fly to the USA for a holiday on Friday. So we had lots of things to tie up before we left. I worked really late at home on Wed night, and then popped into work on Thurs to hand over. Thur 15 Made an appt to see doctor about the spotting. She thought that it sounded like a miscarriage and that there was nothing we could do. Sent me for some bloods on Thurs with results due first thing Fri. I kind of pushed for a scan as well, just to make sure as I wanted to make sure I was ok to travel. Fri 16 Doctor rang - according to my dates, (which were not accurate), the levels were in the bottom 5th percentile. So she indicated that things didn't look good for a viable pregnancy. Scan at 11am. Possible ectopic pregnancy 
At this stage I had to send DH home with a tired and hungry DD. We had only gone out to do the scan, and were then meant to be getting ready to go to the airport. So we had nothing in the bag! It started getting scary at this point, I was not allowed home. The only place for me to go was the hospital. Mum, who was also meant to be flying out with us, was told and came to look after DD, so DH could be with me. I was kept in close range at the hospital, and by 6pm was in surgery. Came home on Monday, with some stitches. But it's going to be the emotional scarring that is going to take a while to heal. ***In memory of my baby that I will never get to know*** ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Replies:
Posted By: Kazzle
Date Posted: 21 May 2008 at 7:41am
there is nothing i can say that is going to make you feel better, but just wanted to let you know that i am thinking about you and your family during this time
if you need to chat or vent or rant and rage, or anything please feel free to pm me ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Vanillabean
Date Posted: 21 May 2008 at 7:46am
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So so sorry to hear about this. ------------- 5x mc, Jan 08, June 08, Nov 08, May 09, April 11 http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: kebakat
Date Posted: 21 May 2008 at 8:17am
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I'm so sorry Annie!!!!!
PM me if you wanna chat since I went through an ectopic though I don't know what the surgery part is like. Hope you are on the mend! |
Posted By: Glow
Date Posted: 21 May 2008 at 8:24am
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Sorry to hear ------------- Mummy of Two Boys B: 2004 K: 2007 |
Posted By: caraMel
Date Posted: 21 May 2008 at 8:25am
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I'm so, so sorry!
Sending you and your family lots of thoughts and prayers xx ------------- Mel, Mummy to E: 6, B: 4 and: 
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Posted By: cuppatea
Date Posted: 21 May 2008 at 9:10am
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I'm so sorry AN E
Take care ------------- 
 
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Posted By: Freesia
Date Posted: 21 May 2008 at 9:28am
I'm so sorry to hear this AN E  I'm thinking of you and your family -------------  
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Posted By: Bobbie
Date Posted: 21 May 2008 at 11:12am
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I'm so glad that you've posted here.
I'm here when you're ready honey. -------------  
 
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Posted By: ElfsMum
Date Posted: 21 May 2008 at 11:14am
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------------- Mum to two amazing boys! |
Posted By: katie1
Date Posted: 21 May 2008 at 12:54pm
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Am so sorry. Thinking of you.
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Posted By: Jay_R
Date Posted: 21 May 2008 at 2:18pm
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Am really sorry for your loss. It's just as hard when they go so early.
Big hugs. |
Posted By: Rachael21
Date Posted: 21 May 2008 at 2:28pm
| Aww so sorry Ann |
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 23 May 2008 at 4:18pm
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Big hugs An E. -------------  Maya Grace (28/02/03)
 (02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: AN E
Date Posted: 24 May 2008 at 1:12pm
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I don't get it. DH doesn't seem that phased at what happened. He's glad that I am still around and the DD still has a mummy (ie glad that I didn't die). But he doesn't understand that we lost the baby, and that I am still upset about that.
On a side note - I had my stitches out yesterday  OMFG that hurt!!!!! Glad I was under a general when they put them in.------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: kebakat
Date Posted: 24 May 2008 at 1:15pm
He must just think differently to you. DH and I think the same and once we found out it was an ectopic we didn't see it as a baby, we saw it as a cancer which I think helped with our state of mind. I hope he gives you lots of hugs and support though!  And lots of chocie!
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Posted By: cuppatea
Date Posted: 24 May 2008 at 1:28pm
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Men don't become attached to the pregnancy early on like we do. I know that with our mc DH was sad that we had lost the baby but he was devasted like I was. He also said some silly things, not to be mean, but just because he was trying to make me feel better but getting it all wrong. -------------
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Posted By: mummyofprinces
Date Posted: 24 May 2008 at 8:09pm
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My DH pretended not to care. He was trying to stay strong for me. I caught him bawling his eyes out on the phone to his brother. He also found it easy to deal with that way.
I explained that knowing he was upset really helped, more than him staying "strong". Having said that, my man is no bloke. He is a giant mummy's boy, through and through. Maybe your DH is just trying to stay strong so you can grieve. |
Posted By: emachan
Date Posted: 25 May 2008 at 8:58pm
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hugs AN E, my DH is still the same about our m/c last year and doesn't understand why I can't 'get over it'.
I think its just cos it wasn't their body that was carrying the baby and they couldn't really 'bond' with anything. Hopefully he'll come around soon, try talking to him about how you feel and see if that helps? *hugs* again! ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">  DD#1 Sept 08 DD#2 Oct 09 |
Posted By: AN E
Date Posted: 25 May 2008 at 10:04pm
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Thanks all.
I have tried talking with DH and he admits that he doesn't understand. It's not fair, I'm not my usual happy self, and when he asks what's the matter I either break down in tears or try and 'clam' up. He just wants me to get over it, but I have tried to tell him that I need some time and space to grieve. It's hard for me, cause we have always understood each other - up until now. Good news tho. My surgeon rang last night. the biopsy of the tube removed was inconclusive - meaning that the ectopic pregnancy was by chance. So the remaining tube should be fine. Still absolutely petrified of getting pregnant again tho. ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: mummyofprinces
Date Posted: 26 May 2008 at 8:08pm
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Thats good news AN E.
Some guys just dont get it, my DH said he doesnt think he would be as upset if we already had a child. They just dont get attached like we do. I explained to mine today that to me, I have lost a child that will never be, to him it was a child that never was. I think thats the major difference. Hugs Hun. |
Posted By: ElfsMum
Date Posted: 27 May 2008 at 8:36am
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it is hard isnt it...my Dh was so guarded with the next pregnancy as he was worried something would happen and it was hard going through the next pregnancy and all the worry by myself:( he wouldn't think about Ethan as a person till he was born..it was sad and it wasn't till 8months into pregnancy he told me how he felt.. massive hugs i can only imagine how hard it would be for DH to think like that..i know i still look at the August babies and wonder what if because I think the same as you ....
and i think it's super hard no matter how many babies you have:( ------------- Mum to two amazing boys! |
Posted By: ElfsMum
Date Posted: 27 May 2008 at 8:37am
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AN E that's good news though! (sortof) ------------- Mum to two amazing boys! |
Posted By: kebakat
Date Posted: 27 May 2008 at 8:39am
| That's good news Annie, I'm sh*t scared about whether or not my next pregnancy will end up being ectopic as mine was confirmed it was definitely one so I'm very high risk now for next time. |
Posted By: AN E
Date Posted: 27 May 2008 at 12:24pm
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Oh Stacey. Lots of hugs to you ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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