Now what?
Printed From: OHbaby!
Category: Support
Forum Name: Life After Miscarriage
Forum Description: Up to one in five pregnancies ends in miscarriage, yet for many the loss of a pregnancy is isolating and lonely. Share your thoughts and feelings here with others who have experienced loss.
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=28828
Printed Date: 03 June 2024 at 11:02am
Software Version: Web Wiz Forums 12.05 - http://www.webwizforums.com
Topic: Now what?
Posted By: AzzaNZ
Subject: Now what?
Date Posted: 18 September 2009 at 7:19pm
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Hoping you ladies can tell me what happens from here.
I was 7 weeks pregnant and on tuesday my scan showed I was bleeding internally, baby was far smaller than should be and the heartbeat was very slow. My HCG levels have been dropping. Midwife thinks I "miscarried" sometime soon after the scan. But I have no external bleeding. I saw a doctor who was pretty unhelpful and said that unless I was hamehorraging they wouldnt do anything. I have another HCG on Monday and scan on tuesday... how does it work? Do they schedule a D&C? How long do you wait? How does the D&C work? Do you need any time off? I'm trying to pull myself together but all I can think is that I am carrying a dead baby  ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
http://intermittentblogger.wordpress.com |
Replies:
Posted By: WestiesGirl
Date Posted: 18 September 2009 at 8:01pm
Aww Hugs hun  Sorry to hear this.
I cant help with what happens in NZ but for how the D&C works is generally its you go under a GA and its over with pretty quickly. You will have period like cramping after the D&C and can generally go back to work straight away but may want a few days off to grieve and you will usually have baby blues around day 4. Thinking of you ------------- Our Angel July 08  Gone but not forgotten
And to complete our family, our princess has arrived 
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Posted By: AzzaNZ
Date Posted: 18 September 2009 at 8:03pm
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thanks rianna, I'm very relieved it would be done under GA. I dont want to be awake for that. ------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
http://intermittentblogger.wordpress.com |
Posted By: lemongirl
Date Posted: 18 September 2009 at 8:10pm
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First of all Azza,
I'm so sorry miscarriage really sucks. I managed to get all the way through to 13 weeks before I started bleeding with an 8 week fetus inside me so mine was effectively a missed miscarriage as if I hadn't been on holiday I would have found out at the 12 week scan. With regards to your D&C: I imagine that your midwife wants to re-confirm your levels are dropping and that the fetus has stopped growing. After that she'll probably want to discuss treatment options with you and then book in for what you. You could wait out for a natural miscarriage or there is the option of a surgical D&C. I imagine that your midwife isn't t a huge hurry as yours has been picked up so early on so you may very well naturally miscarry over the weekend. But I can totally get that you'd want to get the physical process over to emtionally heal and wondering why they hell they are taking their sweet time. D&Cs usually take a few days to schedule. They may give you a pill to start cramping and opening the cervix and then put you under and scrape you out. You will need to take two days off work at least for physical recovery, emotionally you might need a bit longer. After the D&C you'll likely bleed for a week or so and then it will be over. However I'm going to give you a warning: there is a small chance of having retained tissue after the D&C which could lead to a longer bleed and infection. I'm only giving the warning as I drew that short straw. Be kind to yourself. I found the first few days the worst, and basically spent in bed crying. Try concentrating on getting through to the next meal (even though I didn't want to eat much) helped me get through the process. Lots of cyber love coming your way. |
Posted By: lemongirl
Date Posted: 18 September 2009 at 8:13pm
| Oh I forgot to add you can ask for your baby to be returned to you after the procedure so perhaps you might want to plant it under a special tree. |
Posted By: ElfsMum
Date Posted: 18 September 2009 at 9:04pm
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hugs I'm sorry to hear this.. it took 5 days to schedule our DandC(we found out 4 weeks after bub had died) ....DH wanted to see bubs so they gave bubs to us in a container for him to look at then took away for testing..
i got put out to it and normally it's a few hours then home but i couldn't stop bleeding so had injection and then went home.. felt awful for a few days but mostly emotional i had little bleeding afterwards.. they tell you all about the procedure and call it an awful name:( (i wont go into detail unless you want me to) I would say you havent mced yet if you have had no bleeding:( hugs it all sucks so much and is so unfair:( ------------- Mum to two amazing boys! |
Posted By: Lexidore
Date Posted: 18 September 2009 at 9:34pm
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Hi Hun
Sorry I can't help with the D & C part of things I had a natural miscarriage, I do agree with Rianna though you may not need the time off physically but a miscarriage does mess with you emotions quite a bit so be aware of that when planning whether or not to take time off work. Anyways just wanted to offer my condolences and big hugs hun if you need an ear feel free to PM me. ------------- 
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Posted By: mummyofprinces
Date Posted: 18 September 2009 at 10:19pm
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Azza I am so sorry!
NSH EPU are fantastic. My scan confirmed my MC on the thursday, GP booked me into EPU on the friday and I was first on the list for a D&C on the Monday. Your MW will refer you through to the hospital I believe and they can discuss with your options. You can wait to see if it happens naturally, take the pill that can bring it on or opt for a D&C. I personally couldnt cope with knowing my baby was dead inside me and chose for a D&C straight up. I wanted to be numb, I didnt want to physically go through a MC if that makes sense. Hugs and feel free to PM if you have any questions -------------   
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Posted By: mummyofprinces
Date Posted: 18 September 2009 at 10:23pm
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You will need the day of the procedure and the following day off physically and like bex and rianna said you will likely need the time off to recover emotionally. -------------
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Posted By: AzzaNZ
Date Posted: 19 September 2009 at 7:44am
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Thank you for the responses and the support. I started to miscarry naturally last night which I thought would be quite distressing but I was actually relieved.
I've told my midwife I'll go for more HCG's on monday but I cant face the scan just yet. I'm far too emotional to sit in a waiting room full of pregnant people waiting to see my dead baby, kwim? How do they tell if you've completely miscarried naturally? Will they need the scan for that? I'm not sure how to face work right now. I got the news while in a meeting and went straight into ugly cry mode. I was sobbing so hard I couldn't see and no doubt my whole team is now wondering what the hells up. I cant afford to be away for long but I may ask for monday just so I can put it all off for one more day. And how do I also support DH? He's been a pillar of strength through most of this but when I started to bleed last night he fell to pieces. ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Lexidore
Date Posted: 19 September 2009 at 9:35am
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When I miscarried naturally I woke up in the middle of the night in a lot of pain and didn't know what was happening so went into the hospital. I had no warning as such that I was going to miscarry so when I went into the hospital I spent a lot of time just waiting with noone wanting to tell me that I was miscarrying (though I knew KWIM?) At about 9am after getting there at 3:30am they had to take me for a scan to make sure that I had had a "complete" miscarriage, When they took me in they showed the screen and there wasn't anything left, Unfortunately this got quite upsetting when I got home and 'passed" the fetus later on the next day and that scared the crap out of me and got me even more upset. Sorry don't mean to scare you but I guess be prepared that it may happen. I was about 10 weeks when I miscarried.
I actually took a week off work because I was a complete mess, It had been a rollercoaster pregnancy of thinking I was going to miscarry a couple of times before this with bleeding throughout my whole pregnancy, take whatever time you feel you need because there is nothing worse than going back before you are ready and having something trigger those emotions. The best thing I can offer as advice for supporting DH is just to be there for each other, You need to also be looking after yourself so just be aware of that, Work out with your DH how you can help each other through this and what you could maybe do for the memory of this bub, We named our bub and still talk about "her" to this day try to keep her memory alive, I have to say I probably wasn't the biggest help to DP at the time because I was such a mess but we found a way through it and although it is hard you will too. Good luck hun! I'm thinking of you and your family right now , sending much love and hugs! -------------
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Posted By: lemongirl
Date Posted: 19 September 2009 at 10:00am
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Hi azza,
I can't help with a natural miscarrriage. But with regards to supporting DH, perhaps the best thing is that you acknowledge how important his efforts in helping you even if sometimes they might feel be a bit misguided. Mine made the mistake of telling me that I needed to eat better and take better care of myself next time which I took to mean that I had caused it which sent off a huge torrent of tears but he was really saying that he wanted to help. |
Posted By: MB1970
Date Posted: 19 September 2009 at 10:35am
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Hiya,
So sorry you're having to go through this also. I too started to miscarry naturally yesterday - had a couple of hours of intense cramps and bleeding then seemed to ease off. Has started again this morning although not as intense. My story is a bit different to yours, as I had 11 wk scan after slight spotting and showed bub had stopped growing at 7 weeks. I decided to wait as wasn't fussed on having d&c. I would have been 15 weeks yesterday so it took 4 weeks for my body to catch on (I also had acupuncture to induce this week). I initially took a week off work mostly because I was an emotional write off - I think it's so important to take that time to grieve. I am now imagining i'll have to take Mon off if cramps haven't subsided, but will see how it goes. I have a scan booked on Mon to see if all has come away - not sure if I have passed preg sac or not as mostly feels like lots of large clots. I would recommend lots of talking and acknowledging your DH also. My bub's father and I have had a frought relationship so he's not around but have had a good friend here - just letting her know that it's nice not to be alone and that yes I'm bloody sad and hurting but having them here is helping. There is also a great miscarriage support website based in Auck that has some great info and a specal sections for partners. Hope you're doing as ok as you can be. Take time out to recover physically and emotionally. thinking of you MaryBeth |
Posted By: ElfsMum
Date Posted: 19 September 2009 at 11:23am
oh:( hugs hun.. it's so hard..my Dh never cries but he kept saying it's not fair and I just didn't know what to do..when we had our natural one he was a little better but it was just so hard..i guess just hug him and let him know you are there.. the first one we pulled away from each other which was hard:( i am no expert but for me they sent me to the acute part of the hospital(so mostly with people having problems) and then down for a scan straight away (as it 5 days after i started bleeding due to the holidays ..with my natural) and they checked to make sure. I guess with most people they can tell but no pain after a little while and bleeding stopping?I'm not sure. ------------- Mum to two amazing boys! |
AzzaNZ wrote:Posted By: ElfsMum
Date Posted: 19 September 2009 at 11:25am
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omg lemongirl that's awful of him:(
I had no pain and no clots... well a little tiny one at the end..so everyone different....my DandC was a far preferably experience to miscarrying naturally:( ------------- Mum to two amazing boys! |
Posted By: Buttersmum
Date Posted: 19 September 2009 at 4:47pm
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Sorry to hear this news Azza. I miscarried naturally and I was only about 4 weeks or so so for me it wasn't too traumatic as far as being poked and proded or pain etc. I didn't have a scan following they just tracked my hcg levels down which took about 3 weeks.
Hard time for you and DH so thinking of you both ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
 my little blobby April 09 "gone but will never be forgotten xx"
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Posted By: mummyofprinces
Date Posted: 19 September 2009 at 7:30pm
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Our DH's can get forgotten in this process. They feel that they have to be there for us and be strong.
Lots of cuddles and a big thank you for being the best DH in the world is what I did. I am so sorry this has happened to you. -------------
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Posted By: cuppatea
Date Posted: 20 September 2009 at 6:26am
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I had a natural miscarriage and I never had any scans or hcgs done. GP just checked me over on the first day of bleeding and then told me danger signs to watch for, he phoned me the next day (a Friday) and made sure I had the emergency numbers for the weekend and asked some questions about the pain and bleeding.
I had had a scan the day before bleeding started which showed an empty pregnancy sac and I started bleeding when I was 6w 2d. I had had hcgs done before the scan as well which were far lower lower than they should be and not rising like they should. Hopefully physically you will be feeling better soon, I found that the first two days were the worst with the cramping and then it was ok, my bleeding was never worse than a period just a bit more clotty. It's hard with men cos often they want to fix the problem when this can't be fixed, I think just trying to be there for each other and also sometimes I find with my DH it helps if he has a task, so when he asked what I wanted/needed I asked for a wheatpack and for him to take Spencer off me so I could go to bed a for while. ------------- 
 
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Posted By: AzzaNZ
Date Posted: 20 September 2009 at 1:06pm
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I'm bleeding a lot again and feeling a bit miserable today.
Does anyone know if you can use a mooncup when bleeding or do I have to keep using these uncomfortable pads? I'm going for a last HCG test in the morning and then into work. I dont know how I feel about it - I would take a day off but if I need a D&C then I'll need a day then... it feels bad taking time off. Workaholic and all that. DH's work sent us a big box of chocolates and a sympathy card signed by the whole team - so sweet of them! I dont think my colleagues even know whats happening. ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: cuppatea
Date Posted: 20 September 2009 at 1:30pm
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You're not suppose to use tampons cos of the increased risk of infection (same as with postpartum bleeding) but I don't know if that would apply to a mooncup as well as they don't really work quite like a tampon do they?
I would see how you feel in the morning regarding work, I had two rough days pain wise and then I felt fine physically, so you might feel ok after today. I can understand you wanting to go to work as well, I wasn't at work but I did just try to carry on as normal, even went to coffee group the day after, but probably shouldn't have cos I was in a lot of pain that day, but it was a good distraction. That was lovely of your DH's work. Good luck with the test tomorrow, hopefully everything is coming away naturally and you won't need a d&c as well. -------------
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Posted By: jo1979
Date Posted: 20 September 2009 at 4:15pm
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My impression was nothing internal including mooncup, and based on lemongirl's experience of infection I reckon play it safe if you can bear the pads. It's strange isn't it - I've used tampons ever since my period started and having the miscarriage brought me into a whole new world of choosing pads and even forming an opinion on which brand like best!
And I'd like to add a hug to the pile. Miscarriage is so common and yet so lonely. And it's so true what everyone is saying: grieve and get back into things at your own pace. There is no other option really, you can't force sadness away. My husband and I cried together when we buried the baby, which I treasure. We mention the baby every day (it's only been 2 and half weeks - I guess that won't go on forever). I have assured him regularly that I appreciate that we are going through this together, and that I know that just because I am the one who has done all the howling I know he's not less sad than me. |
Posted By: AzzaNZ
Date Posted: 20 September 2009 at 5:33pm
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Ok, I'll stay away from the mooncup just in case.
Havent used pads since I was 14 so its kinda new to me too! Just bought some "super" ones. This whole experience has been a rollercoaster. I've had a very angry day today. Things like this are a painful reminder of how far away I am from friends and family. No one has thought to phone or text or email to find out if we're okay and the friend I've contacted to visit so I'm not alone has had better things to do all weekend. Honestly, we've had more sympathy and care from DH's employers and he has only worked there a week and a half. I guess it shows who your real friends are hey? ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: jo1979
Date Posted: 20 September 2009 at 6:19pm
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Stink!! It is nice to get support from unexpected places, but not so nice to find it lacking from loved ones. I guess a lot of people don't know what it's like and don't stop to think about it carefully. I used to feel sorry for people if I heard they had miscarried, but certainly didn't consider just how awful it would be until I wanted to get pregnant and then was pregnant myself...
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Posted By: Emmi_
Date Posted: 20 September 2009 at 7:34pm
Oh Azza, Ive just found your thread  I have been wondering how your getting on...
I MC naturally at 6w3d, I went to the hospital (it was a sat) they did bloods and made me go back on monday for bloods (to make sure tehy were going down) and said they were going to do a scan but by then the bleeding had mostly stopped so didnt bother. They said that we could start TTC again when we felt ready, we didnt have to wait a certain amount of time. I spotted for 3 days after that and then it was all over. I took the Mon off work as I had to go into the hospital, but that was it. I passed "him" on the sunday and we burried him under a kowhai tree at my mums. It was nice to be able to say good bye. Im so sorry you havnt had that much support, please let me know if I can do anything... Please know that it wasnt your fault, you didnt do anything wrong, and it doesnt mean that there is anything wrong with you. If you have started to MC naturally, then there will prob be no need for a D and C. If you bleed for longer than a week or was it two, or there is an infection then you might need to get checked out (which doesnt usually happen) Also try and let yourself do what you need to do, I found that I was relatively ok until about a month had passed then I was a complete mess (and thats ok too), I cried at anything and everything, and all I could think about was how I would have been so many weeks by now, and had my first scan and everything. I hope you are holding up as ok as you can be, my thoughts are with you and your DH.... ------------- 
+1 May 09 Angel
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Posted By: mummyofprinces
Date Posted: 20 September 2009 at 7:53pm
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Oh hun you should have pm me, I would come by in a heartbeat!
If you want a shoulder just let me know, I am quite sad and usually home twiddling my thumbs. -------------
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Posted By: ElfsMum
Date Posted: 20 September 2009 at 9:04pm
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ugh to your friends....some of mine were great..some...well were not..kept saying useless crap like 'everything happens for a reason' I was angry for a long time too..totally normal but hard:( ------------- Mum to two amazing boys! |
Posted By: AzzaNZ
Date Posted: 20 September 2009 at 10:20pm
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Yeah, I've heard that "everything happens for a reason" line, and its close cousin "what is meant to be, will be".
Not very comforting. Thank you Emmi and Melnel and everyone else... its odd not having met anyone here how much comfort I am getting from speaking to people who've been through it before. Mel you and I need to have a coffee, I haven't been on this forum long but whenever I've had a drama you've always been there with support and advice. You're an absolute star. I'm still not sure if I'll go to work tomorrow, I'll probably only decide when I wake up. Anyone know how long the bleeding and cramping lasts usually with a natural miscarriage? It disappeared during the day (just a small amount of blood) and now I'm back to awful cramps and lots of blood again. ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: AzzaNZ
Date Posted: 20 September 2009 at 10:25pm
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p.s... it was my shift at the toy library sat morning, so when I started bleeding I called the main contact there and said I couldnt make it and explained why.
She says to me "can you call the other committee members and ask if one of them can cover for you" So I say "you want me to call the rest of the members and ask someone to cover for me while I miscarry?" There's silence and then she says "ok, dont worry, I'll do it" I was gobsmacked. Sure, I'll stand here bleeding and phone 15 women I don't know to explain why I need one of them to cover my shift at late notice ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: cuppatea
Date Posted: 21 September 2009 at 6:56am
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That sucks, some people just don't think do they?
My bleeding was much the same as a normal period, my GP told me it shouldn't get much worse than that either and if it did to go and see him, so I would keep an eye on what is happening and if you think it's still a lot go along to the doc or ask the mw for advice. My SIL said "well you can also try again" whilst I was still miscarrying, not cool, I wouldn't have minded but she was 10 weeks pregnant herself so you would think she would have been more empathetic -------------
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Posted By: ElfsMum
Date Posted: 21 September 2009 at 8:28am
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omg some people I just cant understand how pathetic they are:(
for me the bleeding started 6am new years day and was still going when i had the scan on the 5th jan but tapered off after that. I had no cramps at all. ------------- Mum to two amazing boys! |
Posted By: lemongirl
Date Posted: 21 September 2009 at 8:41am
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Aside from a hemorrhage (heavy bleeding) the only other risk to watch out for is if you have an incomplete miscarriage. If the bleeding that doesn't start to taper off after a week, you have ongoing cramping or a high temperature get it checked out. My infection was picked up because I went very pale about a week after my D&C and but retained product was picked up a week and a half after that.
I hope haven't scared you, it's more than likely that you'll pass everything and not have any major problems. *Hugs* |
Posted By: ElfsMum
Date Posted: 21 September 2009 at 9:02am
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and as a general rule the earlier you are the more likely you will have a complete mc. ------------- Mum to two amazing boys! |
Posted By: MB1970
Date Posted: 21 September 2009 at 6:40pm
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Hi Azza,
Hope things are settling down for you. I miscarried naturally over the weekend (well Fri and Sat) - I would have been 15 weeks but bub was only 7 weeks - I had two lots of two hours worth of very intense cramps and bleeding etc (similar to last stage of labour) and then just regular period bleeding since then with no cramps. Went and had saw epac midwife at hosp today and had scan - showed one more 5cm bit left but not adhered so pretty sure I'll pass it ok. Have been given prophalactic antibiotics (mostly cause started spotting over 4 weeks ago and they're paranoid cause i've "left it so long to happen naturally"). Have another scan in 10 days to double check. Midwife said will probably keep bleeding like period for another 5 days or so and then taper off to spotting. Hope that's of some use to you - and grrrrr to your workmates - so unhelpful!! I really do think people just don't know what to say -personally I'd rather they said, "oh hell, I don't know what to say" than all these platitudes and "oh well, you can try again soon".... etc etc ... Oh and I agree - this forum is the best support group ever!! MaryBeth |
Posted By: AzzaNZ
Date Posted: 21 September 2009 at 6:45pm
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Just spoke with my midwife, my HCG levels havent dropped any further so she thinks the placenta has not come away yet and she is concerned about how long I've had heavy bleeding. She wants me to go to Northshore hospital if still bleeding tomorrow ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Emmi_
Date Posted: 21 September 2009 at 6:48pm
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Oh Azza, that sucks I hope it has stopped and your HCG drops soon. Big hugs hun! -------------
+1 May 09 Angel
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Posted By: mummyofprinces
Date Posted: 21 September 2009 at 7:39pm
Just replied to your PM hun. Yes we should totally have coffee I have included my cell if you need anything just let me know.
The ladies here are wonderful, I had the same support you are getting right now and I dont how I would have coped without it. Especially the lovely KA (aka four_eyes) who held my hand (virtually) when I started to fall apart. Big cyber hugs. -------------
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Posted By: Lexidore
Date Posted: 21 September 2009 at 7:44pm
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Azza huge huge hugs hun, as if its not enough going through a m/c to get complications is just cruel have been thinking of you and hope everything works itself out soon. So sorry hun! -------------
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Posted By: cuppatea
Date Posted: 21 September 2009 at 8:02pm
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Sorry about your hcg levels, how stressful for you, I found it bad enough miscarrying without any additional complications.
Yeah I think when you have had m/c the best someone can say is "sorry for your loss" but then before I had one I probably would have gone and said something stupid too cos you really don't get it until you have had one yourself. My mum, bless her, was one of the worst, she thought she was being helpful but she really really wasn't. -------------
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Posted By: SammyA
Date Posted: 21 September 2009 at 8:37pm
Azza, WE'RE here for you! Please, please PM me if you want to chat- you made me feel so much better with your PM and I really hope you're doing ok!!! Huge hugs coming your way!!! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: ElfsMum
Date Posted: 21 September 2009 at 9:22pm
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aw thanks melnel...i just think it's important to offer support when we are able cause i didn't get hardly any(1st time) and felt lonely and alone :(
hugs and thoughts with you Azza! ------------- Mum to two amazing boys! |
Posted By: lemongirl
Date Posted: 22 September 2009 at 9:04am
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Azza, I'm so sorry to hear you are having complications, it makes something sucky downright awful.
I'm Auckland based as well so please PM if you need any in-person support. |
Posted By: AzzaNZ
Date Posted: 22 September 2009 at 9:21am
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Just spoke to my midwife and she says I dont have to go to hospital unless I get a fever.
I'm going to head to work tomorrow, I dont think all this obsessing is helping. Thank you all again for the support - I'm blown away by how kind a group of strangers has been to me. Its so very, very appreciated! ------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
http://intermittentblogger.wordpress.com |
Posted By: SMoody
Date Posted: 23 September 2009 at 2:48pm
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Azza I had 2 natural miscarriages (one being our honeymoon baby). I bled with both for 6 weeks and it started out heavy and then went light and then got heavy again.
If you soak a pad in 2 hours get yourself to the hospital. If you have any fever signs or cold signs go in as it might be a sign of infection. In regards with J the only advice I can give you is just to give lots of hugs. Grant was totally shut down. He went on normally while I was literally in pieces both times ( I had a third biochemical mc but it felt different somehow, as if I knew it wasnt a baby). I got very very cross and mad with people saying it was meant to be, just a glorified period and I even got mad at some people that really felt sorry for me. And it is all normal. I got super mad at Grant for just going on with life and saying it will happen for us ect ect. I literally wanted to kill him. It was only after the second one and about 4 months after we lost that lo that I woke up and Grant was sobbing his heart out. He just kept on saying sorry sorry and he is trying to be strong for me but he cant hold it in anymore. We cried and cried for hours and worked through it. I realised his just expressed his grief differently and he was trying to hold it together for me. I loved that man a lot more after all of that. I am here if you need to chat or anything and if you dont have my landline number let me know and I can mail it through to you. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: SMoody
Date Posted: 23 September 2009 at 2:48pm
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Azza I had 2 natural miscarriages (one being our honeymoon baby). I bled with both for 6 weeks and it started out heavy and then went light and then got heavy again.
If you soak a pad in 2 hours get yourself to the hospital. If you have any fever signs or cold signs go in as it might be a sign of infection. In regards with J the only advice I can give you is just to give lots of hugs. Grant was totally shut down. He went on normally while I was literally in pieces both times ( I had a third biochemical mc but it felt different somehow, as if I knew it wasnt a baby). I got very very cross and mad with people saying it was meant to be, just a glorified period and I even got mad at some people that really felt sorry for me. And it is all normal. I got super mad at Grant for just going on with life and saying it will happen for us ect ect. I literally wanted to kill him. It was only after the second one and about 4 months after we lost that lo that I woke up and Grant was sobbing his heart out. He just kept on saying sorry sorry and he is trying to be strong for me but he cant hold it in anymore. We cried and cried for hours and worked through it. I realised his just expressed his grief differently and he was trying to hold it together for me. I loved that man a lot more after all of that. I am here if you need to chat or anything and if you dont have my landline number let me know and I can mail it through to you. ------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: AzzaNZ
Date Posted: 23 September 2009 at 2:54pm
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Thanks Shirena, it helps to know how long everyone else's bleeding lasted so I have an idea of what is normal.
I'm at work today and very glad to have the distraction and feel a bit more like "normal". The last few days I have wondered how anyone manages to TTC again after going through this. Now I'm wondering when my next cycle will be so that we can try again . So things are definitely looking up.
I am concerned that it doesnt sound like anything will be done until we've had 3 successive miscarriages. Is this true? I was diagnosed with a luteal phase defect (and low progesterone) while in SA but have none of the medical records. Would I be able to get my progesterone levels tested if we fell pregnant again? ------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
http://intermittentblogger.wordpress.com |
Posted By: SMoody
Date Posted: 23 September 2009 at 4:12pm
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It seems over here it is like that BUT you go to your GP and you INSIST they check your progesterone. I did this and asked them if it was normal this time around and she said everything is fine. Just for me to start worrying at 10 weeks that she hasnt referred me to the hospital team yet. She went on holiday. Saw the other dr that I just loved and he immediately saw a red flag due to progesterone being on the border line of being too low. Luckily everything worked out okay.
This time if I had to do it over I WILL insist that they do certain things. Let me know if I need to get that number of the private gynae for you. Even if he just see you two or three times in the pregnancy or even just to help out in the beginning with tests. He is from SA and moms at Grants work used him and say he is brilliant. One guy and his wife tried a while and had some complications and he helped them through it all. But really you have to speak up and INSIST on rights and that you want it done. If need be get your medical records from SA. ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Emmi_
Date Posted: 23 September 2009 at 4:17pm
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Azza, If you have a good GP, just say that you want them done, and this is why and tehy should listen to you, if not finda nother GP. My GP will do anything so that I feel comfortable, including letting me do HCGs as often as I want up to 13 weeks... (even though she said its not normal to do that, and it wont show much, but I wanted it so she let me).
GL. And be prepared to stand your ground.. -------------
+1 May 09 Angel
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Posted By: AzzaNZ
Date Posted: 23 September 2009 at 4:22pm
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I spoke to my midwife about it because I mentioned it to my GP (but I didnt think it would be an issue so didnt push it) and the GP didnt test. Next time I will insist (and also insist on HCG's regularly). The midwife says to be very clear and they will do the tests - I wish I had given it more thought this time, I was so excited that it was the last thing on my mind.
I think if we'd checked progesterone and started baby asprin we may not have lost the baby. ------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
http://intermittentblogger.wordpress.com |
Posted By: Emmi_
Date Posted: 23 September 2009 at 4:25pm
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Azza, you cant do that to your self... TBH generally when we lose our babies that early its cos the DNA didnt transfer properly so it wasnt due to low progerserone or the lack of baby asprin, just the same way as it wasnt because you had sex, ate at a cafe or had some cheese....
But I would still def get it checked next time ,just for peace of mind... I hope that didnt sound harsh? It wasnt ment to be... -------------
+1 May 09 Angel
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Posted By: AzzaNZ
Date Posted: 23 September 2009 at 4:40pm
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I'm not entertaining guilty thoughts, I just think its a case of "when you know better, you do better".
Its a reminder that I wont be as complacent next time. Having carried my daughter to term I had forgotten about the struggle we went through to have her - and that the reasons behind that struggle also cause miscarriage. ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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http://intermittentblogger.wordpress.com |
Posted By: Emmi_
Date Posted: 23 September 2009 at 4:44pm
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Good, (I was just checking).
But your right, we do need to learn from everything that we do, and what happens to us. And so long as we do learn something from it then it wasnt wasted. Well thats what I think anyway. Your daughter is beautiful! She is just gorgeous. I am sure she will have a little brother or sister soon enough -------------
+1 May 09 Angel
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Posted By: AzzaNZ
Date Posted: 23 September 2009 at 4:46pm
Thank you! She is divine 
------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
http://intermittentblogger.wordpress.com |
Posted By: ElfsMum
Date Posted: 23 September 2009 at 8:55pm
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re the testing that is hard.. my first was a DandC so bub got tested.. ------------- Mum to two amazing boys! |
Posted By: AzzaNZ
Date Posted: 27 September 2009 at 10:15am
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My HCG levels have dropped from 6200 to 400 and the bleeding has slowed down. Midwife says this should indicate the miscarriage is complete.
I'm very relieved to have avoided a D&C! Now hoping all goes back to normal so we can TTC again. ------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
http://intermittentblogger.wordpress.com |
Posted By: lemongirl
Date Posted: 27 September 2009 at 7:13pm
| That's awesome... well in the circumstances and all. |
Posted By: cuppatea
Date Posted: 27 September 2009 at 7:27pm
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That's great news, would be horrible to have to do it naturally and have the D & C as well -------------
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Posted By: mummyofprinces
Date Posted: 27 September 2009 at 10:45pm
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Great news T, glad those levels are dropping! Heres hoping you Ov again in a couple of weeks and you are chatting away in the June thread
Emmi she is even cuter IRL, beautiful blonde curls! -------------
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Posted By: ElfsMum
Date Posted: 28 September 2009 at 9:40am
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that is good news(well you know what i mean!) :) ------------- Mum to two amazing boys! |
Posted By: AzzaNZ
Date Posted: 28 September 2009 at 9:56am
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Yeah, its very good news
Feeling more like I can move on now! ------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
http://intermittentblogger.wordpress.com |