Dealing with the guilts??
Printed From: OHbaby!
Category: Support
Forum Name: Living with Post Natal Depression
Forum Description: Around one in ten NZ mothers will be diagnosed with PND in the first year of their babies life. Find support and encouragement and share ideas for coping here.
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=29668
Printed Date: 11 May 2024 at 5:31am
Software Version: Web Wiz Forums 12.05 - http://www.webwizforums.com
Topic: Dealing with the guilts??
Posted By: KitKat
Subject: Dealing with the guilts??
Date Posted: 01 November 2009 at 8:34pm
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Hi guys, sorry if this has been talked about somewhere elses already- OMG... see thats what I wanted to talk about- I say sorry for everything!
I feel guilty about every little thing. I have been struggling w PND and havent medicated as I generally feel fine when I have help from DP..... so I have decided I can somehow find a way of coping, and things will surely get better... But lately in particular, Ive found I feel guilty when people do things to help me out. Like DP taking a day off work once a week to be around, and ringing my mum in tears, and breaking down in front of DP... etc etc. Ive just had the worst few days- Im at the bottom of the pit again.... need to find the ladder out. Does anyone else find this? How do you 'move on' from feeling like everyone is 'helping' you all the time, and ending up feeling like a pathetic loser who cant cope with life. (well thats how it makes me feel- not saying it makes anyone else feel like that) ------------- 
http://www.littlegreenfruit.blogspot.com - Little Green Fruit |
Replies:
Posted By: FreeSpirit
Date Posted: 01 November 2009 at 9:19pm
I'd invite my mum over and make her lunch - that way she could help with the laundry or take bubs for a 20 minute walk to give me a break, but I was doing something for her too (even if that something for her was slicing up a sally lunn from the bakery  ) I had to eat anyway, and it's nice to have some adult company for a meal.------------- http://www.babysfirstsite.com"> 
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Posted By: myfullhouse
Date Posted: 01 November 2009 at 9:51pm
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Sorry KitKat, I can't help as I pretty much could have written your post. I am at the bottom at the moment. Trying to get a little bit better each day, which also means trying to get more sleep as between the boys I am having 4+ wake ups a night. Speaking of which I need to get off here and go to bed.
If I come up with any solutions will let you know! ------------- Lindsey 
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Posted By: LittleBug
Date Posted: 08 November 2009 at 10:17pm
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You really just have to cut yourself some slack. It's hard I know. I have felt (sometimes still feel) the same way. It feels like you are being such a "burden" on people. But you have to realise that you are unwell (PND isn't "normal" - it's common, but not the normal happy baby experience that others get). You have to accept that you need help from people to get through, and just give yourself a bit of a break.
It's hard even admitting you need help, I know, and then you feel bad for getting it... ugh. I was the same, determined not to medicate, but I really had to rely heaps on others (DH, mum, friends) because I couldn't cope without lots of help. I ended up on medication, and once things settled down after that, I was able to deal with everything MUCH better. I don't feel as guilty for being so demanding anymore, because I'm NOT as demanding. So the meds worked really well for me. You really just need to cut yourself a big break. You have PND - the fact is that you need a hand up. It's okay to get a hand up. That's what families/friends/health professionals are there for. When you are able to, do nice things in return... keep reminding your DP, mum etc. that you really appreciate their support and that they are invaluable to you, while you are having a hard time. They will know their worth that way. Hang in there Kat  ------------- Chloe (4 years) and Oliver (3 years). |
Posted By: Blankney94
Date Posted: 27 November 2009 at 6:09pm
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Yes hang in there! They say it takes a village to raise a baby! Accept all the help you can, and don't feel bad for it. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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