Please help
Printed From: OHbaby!
Category: Support
Forum Name: Living with Post Natal Depression
Forum Description: Around one in ten NZ mothers will be diagnosed with PND in the first year of their babies life. Find support and encouragement and share ideas for coping here.
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33173
Printed Date: 10 May 2024 at 4:18pm
Software Version: Web Wiz Forums 12.05 - http://www.webwizforums.com
Topic: Please help
Posted By: girly_girl
Subject: Please help
Date Posted: 30 April 2010 at 9:13pm
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Hi there, I am at my wits end and need some advise.
My DH has had depression for the last 4 years (diagnosed and under psychiartric treatment). During that time we have bought a house, got married and had our darling wee boy. For the most part he has displayed symptoms that fit this syndrome: Kleine-Levin Syndrome or KLS (also known as Sleeping Beauty Syndrome) is a neurological disorder characterized by recurring periods of excessive amounts of sleep and altered behavior. At the onset of an episode the patient becomes drowsy and sleeps for most of the day and night (hypersomnolence), waking only to eat or go to the bathroom. When awake, the patient’s whole demeanor is changed, often appearing “spacey” or childlike. They also experience confusion, disorientation, complete lack of energy (lethargy), and lack of emotions (apathy). Individuals are not able to attend school or work or care for themselves. Most are bedridden, tired, and uncommunicative even when awake. Most patients report that everything seems out of focus, and that they are hypersensitive to noise and light. In some cases, food cravings (compulsive hyperphagia) are exhibited. Instances of uninhibited hypersexuality during episodes (mostly males) and instances of depression (mostly females) have also been reported.Most cases of Kleine-Levin syndrome are seen in teenage boys. [1] Affected individuals may go for a period of weeks, months or even years without experiencing any symptoms, and then they reappear with little warning. In between episodes those diagnosed with KLS appear to be in perfect health with no evidence of behavioral or physical dysfunction. The cause of Kleine-Levin syndrome is not known. Thus, family support and education are the best management currently available This is where things get complicated. I didn't have a very easy pregnancy especially in the third trimester where I ended up with HELLP syndrome which resulted in an emergency c-section. My DS was born 4 weeks premature weighing only 1.96kg. He had to stay in NICU for nearly 3 weeks. I ended up with a horrendous infection in my wound, and suffered terribly with having to leave my son the hospital every night. DH received his final notice from work for not attending due to his depression, and has consequently had his last day at that job today. He has no job to go to, and is looking for work all around the country. Meanwhile I feel like I'm anxious and depressed myself. (How do you know?). I'm either in tears, on the verge of tears or insanely angry - mostly at DH all the time. I'm scared to wake up in the morning cos I don't want to face anything else going wrong. I have a beautiful healthy boy, but I feel like I can't enjoy him because I need to be the glue to hold it all together. I have nothing left to give though, and am running on empty. What do I do now?? TIA ------------- 
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Replies:
Posted By: mummyofprinces
Date Posted: 30 April 2010 at 10:42pm
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Hugs hun, what a time you have had!
It cant hurt to go and chat with your GP, you have a huge amout going on right now and your hormones are all crazy balancing themselves. I felt like you and that was without the added stress of my DH looking for work and being unwell himself and a premmie so I think you are doing an amazing job! Huge, Huge hugs! -------------   
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Posted By: LouD
Date Posted: 30 April 2010 at 10:50pm
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Awwww big hugs hun, you sure have had a really rough time of things.
Dont go it alone, talk to your MW or plunket about getting someone to talk to. Even if what your experiencing is just due to your circumstances and well frankly i would be struggling to cope with what your going through without adding complications to pregnancy and birth etc It might not be PND but can easily turn into it. Being the glue for so long can get very tiring. You can only carry the weight of the world for so long so having someone to talk to get help support you is a good idea. It must be a huge stress to support your DH when he is going through his depression, but you shouldnt have to wear that all by yourself and if you do a search i could guarantee you will find a group of other wives who deal with the same stuff with their husbands. it might be nice to talk to others who understand exactly where your coming from. Hope everything starts settling for you soon and you can feel like you are allowed to enjoy your son and not trying to be the glue ALL the time |
Posted By: NikkiB
Date Posted: 01 May 2010 at 6:41am
I didn't want to read and run. 
I ditto what the others have said above. I hope things settles down for you very soon. My son was also premmie and it is extremely hard having a baby in NICU (even without the additional stresses you have got). I might be completely wrong here, but one of the things I struggled a lot with, was bonding with my DS. Apparently, it is extremely common to have bonding issues when you've had a baby in NICU for so long - just thought I'd throw that in there, just in case you were having bonding issues. All the very best ------------- A very lucky mummy to two gorgeous boys: RB 3/10/2008 JB 29/12/2009 |
Posted By: girly_girl
Date Posted: 01 May 2010 at 9:51am
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Thank you ladies. I'm going to go and see my GP on Monday, and then DH, DS and myself are going to head to the family centre. I'll let you know how we get on. In the meantime I'm going to head to my sisters for a wee sanity break (she lives here in Hamilton as well).
xx -------------
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Posted By: millymollymandy
Date Posted: 03 May 2010 at 6:18pm
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Gosh, what a lot you have had on your plate, I really feel for you. I had a premmie and a husband job hunting. It was very very hard and stressful and I ended up with PND.
It sounds to me like you are good at seeking help, which is so important. I think you know things are bad when you don't feel like yourself. Things will work out, but sometimes its hard to see the woods from the trees. Make sure you take some time to look after youself, its the best thing for your little boy. |
Posted By: girly_girl
Date Posted: 04 May 2010 at 12:08pm
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Hi girls - thank you for all of your support. I was diagnosed with PND yesterday with a score of 21 out of 30 on the Edinburgh test, been put on medication and am spending a fair whack of time at the family centre. -------------
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Posted By: LouD
Date Posted: 04 May 2010 at 8:04pm
Thats great that you are on meds (well not great but you know what i mean) and you have support........hope everything settles and your back on your feet etc real soon
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Posted By: Nutella
Date Posted: 05 May 2010 at 10:50pm
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Hey chick, just saw your post. I also have a hubby with depression, likely to be on drugs for the rest of his life I think.
I totally understand where you are coming from about the glue holding it altogether-it is hard work huh? The only support I get is from my family as DHs don't even acknowledge he is depressed. Anyway, if you need someone to talk to then pm me...it would be nice to talk to someone who has the same issues. My baby was not prem so didn't have that extra stress.....but we did have a LOT of changes last year...lost jobs from financial crisis, got pregnant, moved across Australia, changed jobs, got married, had a scary birth etc etc...and sometimes I honeslty don't know how I made it through everything without having a breakdown. ------------- 
 Oct 11
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Posted By: girly_girl
Date Posted: 06 May 2010 at 8:26pm
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Oh Natscats I'm so glad you posted!! Thank you for sharing and I will defo PM you soon! You situation sounds almost identical to mine. Its so reassuring to know that there is someone out there in a similar boat and doing it too.
xx -------------
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