2nd c-section? Who makes the decision?

As I've only had one c-section due to my bubs being a footling breech, I am not sure of what happens next time, but I am pretty sure that you are allowed to have a c-section next time if you would like. You are allowed to try for a VBAC if you want to, but you definitely don't have to do that. I had a pretty big baby, so next time I will definitely think about having a c-section.

All in all I would say that it is definitely your choice.

Oh and welcome to Ohbaby! How old is your little one?

hi hayley, welcome to ohbaby!

i've had 2 c/s now, jack was breech and charli was a 'failure to progress'. after my first c/s i was so desperate for a vbac, but charli was the posterior, head flexed upward and my 'time limit' ran out so i had an emergency c/s. i also am still working through my feelings towards the 2nd c/s and probably always will. any other kids i have will HAVE to be c/s, but we aren't having anymore anyway.

when you do decide to have another baby, i'm sure you can elect another c/s if that's what you want. you may have to try a few midwives before you find one that will allow you to do that, i'm not sure.

not all that helpful am i where abouts are you?

As far as I know, if you've had one c/s they will present it as an option for your next baby. In your next pg you will be referred to an OB at about 6mos to discuss your birthing options etc, regardless of which way you choose. And they will give you advice and statistics and all that.

Go for it!

PS "May try for VBAC" - if your trauma was because of the baby being in the wrong place or something like that (in my case it was the placenta tearing=haemorrage) then it is usually ok to try again if the next baby is not breech etc, albiet with a whole lot more monitoring. If your c/s was because of you being too small or something like that, then VBAC would not be an option.

And having a different mw won't make any difference. She'll ask you about your last birth anyway and put it in your next set of notes. I had c/s then VBAC with one mw and VB with another mw and she just asked me to fill her in on what happened and reasons for the c/s etc.

Edited by busymum

Hey Everyone

Just wanted to stop back in and say hi and thanks for all the responses. Everyone's situation is so different and I thank you for sharing all your points of view with me.

I really want to have a c-section, after all the things that happened last time, I realistically think I couldn't cope emotionally with a labour again. I'm actually not a baby when it comes to pain, it's not the pain, it was all the things that went wrong.

What I don't understand is how a doctor would write on my form that I could still have a VBAC yet the head of the dept would say exactly the opposite. I would have thought they would need to be on the same page. Olivia was posterier and other bits and pieces and got stuck and all that, but the real issue was I had a tear between my cervix and uterus, it wasn't a failure to progress thing, I totally understand how you can do a VBAC after that. The head of dept warned me not to labour again because it would definately happen again.

I think I might take my GP up on the offer of some counselling just so I can get my head straight and maybe get rid of some of this anxiety.

Thanks again for letting me talk this through.
Hayley

btw I'm in Christchurch for whoever asked

Edited by hays

hays if you had a tear to your uterus/cervix, i would've thought c/s was the only option next time?   
during charli's birth my uterus was torn because she was so hard to pull back the other way and that's why i HAVE to have c/s in future.

i'm in chch too, we are having a coffee catch up sometime next week, would be great to meet you and olivia

Hey Everyone

I've been out of town for a bit and thought I would come back now that I have some time and spend some more time here. Thanks so much to everyone for sharing their experiences.

Jack and Charli's Mum thanks for that kind offer that would be really awesome, let me know when your next coffee get together is planned and I will try to make it. In response to what you said about the tear, I thought the only option was for a c-section next time too as that is what I was told, but then some of the paper work contradicts that. So it's just confusing.

Two Blondinis I can totally relate to every single word you wrote. I'm totally there with you! I thought soon after Olivia's birth she could be an only child and that isn't actually what I want.

Just to update you all, today I had a dear friend over and we discussed it and her cousin is a midwife. She went home and called her and asked her heaps of questions on my behalf. She has offered very kindly to meet with me and go through all my notes and explain what things mean and why they happened until I feel like I have a better understanding. She is really encouraging me to work through this for a more positive experience next time, no matter what my decisions are. By the way she was horrified and angry that I had this tear and hadn't had a proper explanation and discussion regarding it. She said that was not acceptable.

So I'm going to do this and then see my doctor and then assess how I feel. Maybe then I can think about trying to get pregnant again.

Anyways just wanted to thank you all and I didn't want you thinking I'd just started one topic then dropped off the planet.

Take care
Hayley

If the only reason why you would have to have an ECS (and against your wishes) was due to size of the baby then that can be monitored throughout your pregnancy and you can all (you, your partner & LMC) make an educated decision on what is best for you and the baby.

Hayley, you're very lucky to have that MW do that for you. I think some LMCs/surgeons just think you wouldn't understand so you don't need to know. I personally felt 100 times better about the birth after I got my labour notes and went through every single detail IN PLAIN ENGLISH with my MW. In these situations I think the scariest part is the total loss of control and the unknown, then the "was it my fault?" starts because you really don't know what happend. As adults we deserve the right to know exactly what happend regardless if it culd be avoided next time or not.

All the best hayley and if you ever need to talk about your CS we're all here for you

Beach_bonz wrote: Just a question - what is a VBAC?

Hi Bonnie, a VBAC is Vaginal Birth After Cesarean (VB after c/s). Your OB will be wanting to talk to you about why you had the first c/s and whether that is likely to happen again, and he is also required to give you the stats on your chances of VBAC vs scar bursting and all that. He will also tell you that he doesn't want to see you ever needing an induction (preferably), which works on your side because the medical profession will try everything else first, even giving you a bit of extra time to go into labour naturally if that's what you want All that, vs having a second ECS and when, etc. Hope that helps and is not too general?

Hi Everyone..

I'm back with an update... Just wanted to say to Bonnie, the meeting with your OB is really just to run through all the options and to go through your concerns. As an example, I have a friend that had an Elective CS and her 1st baby had breathing problems and with her 2nd she had another elective and wanted this time to wait until she went into labour before she has the CS to ensure the baby was ready. These things can be negotiable with the OB.

Anyways the update...
I have been back to my doctor and talked through the fact that I am really not ok with all of this. She was excellent, actually better than I thought she would be. Her, the midwife and my best friend that's a social worker are all in agreement that I have PTSD. For anyone that doesn't know that's Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Anyways that was a bit of a shock, that I didn't see coming. I can identify with a lot of the symptoms but not all. I knew I wasn't depressed but I didn't know what was going on actually had a name.
So they've instructed me to only talk about the birth in certain settings but here's ok.

I went to visit an OB, I previously didn't have one as it was an emergency CS, to talk through my notes etc. This I found really helpful. It's interesting to have a different set of "professional" eyes on my notes. He wasn't happy about some things that took place. He said I can do whatever I want next time and to be VERY selective with the midwife. I have some big trust issues with the midwife but I have already selected my next one and spoken to her (I'm not pregnant!).

So that's where I'm at guys, doesn't look like this stuff is going away any time soon, but just wanted to say to anyone who is struggling, that I am around if anyone needs support.

Hope you are all doing well
Take care
Hayley

Hayley, that's great to hear you are getting help and wish you all the best with your "recovery" (can think of a better word to use, I'm sure there is one though ).

Please let us know how you get on with the future visits with the OB etc.
I'm still getting flash backs of the not-so-nice parts of my emerg CS and can't even remember the first time I saw her and even though DH and I have discussed having more kids in the future, for me it is the very distant future and I'm scared over both the VBAC and the ECS options

Chuffed - sorry to hear about your experience. Hope you concieve again soon and get the birth you want