Anxiety and Panic

Ive been putting it off for a long time, telling myself Im fine and Im just being silly and that i have no reason to feel so worried and stressed all the time.

I really started feeling down and stressed not long after Isabella was born, she has always been a difficult baby, she had terrible reflux and cried all the time, however, the things that have gone on in my life since I had Caden have really taken its toll..
He was late(as most that know me, know) and his labour was so hard on me and he was born by emergency CS in the end, I had some health problems afterwards and it took me a long time to recover fully, I was really traumatized by the whole thing.
I then fell pregnant when he was 5 months old, in this time that I was pregnant with Isabella, I was planning my wedding/got married, moved house and then back home again, was admitted to hospital with really low iron and needed an iron infusion(my iron is always crap when Im pregnant), then Isabella was born via elective CS, that went fine and she breastfed well for 7 months, but her reflux took its toll on me and I was always angry and upset, I lost interest in things like sex and going out, I just wasnt myself, but I didnt really feel that depressed, if that makes sense. I went to Dr and he put my on anti-D's but I only took them for 2 days as they made me feel horrible and gave me an upset tummy.
I went back to the Dr and he did the test thing and I scored low, so no need for Anti-D's anyways.

Things were good for a while, then all of a sudden they started going down hill again, I started to worry SO much about everything! Mostly health issues, I started worrying about death and illness a lot and still do, I worry about car crashes and walking out alone with the kids, I always feel on edge and panicy, I have that nervous feeling in my tummy a lot. and find it so hard to just relax and live life without the constant worry :(

I feel like Im just exisiting and not living! I have always been a worrier, but not to the extent that I am now, Im a hypercondriac and I hate it. I convince myself I have some horrible illness so of course my body goes nuts and then I start freaking out about that, its a vicious cycle. Also my marriage has been suffering because of it :(
Sometimes I am so "nervous" I cant even eat and I end up in the loo with the scoot(sorry TMI) which is what happens to me whenever Im nervous anyways! Im not losing weight or anything, my weight is really stable at 62kg, so Im still eating normally, just cant when Im feeling really anxious.

Ive found a few threads on here that have really helped me, but I was just wondering if anyone else feels like this or has done and what did you do to help yourself?
Ive found herbal things have helped and calming teas and getting out in the fresh air really help me, when Im out and about with friends or family I almost feel normal again.

Sorry for the novel and probably, a million spelling mistakes!

Edited by Sheza

Hi Thanks for replying :)

I havent spoken to my dr yet, but I know I need to, I guess I just wanted to see if I could over come it by myself to start with.

Im thinking councelling might be the way to go, and I'll take my husband along with me for support, we also have marriage issues we need to work through.

I dont do any exercise, I just sit at home and Im so isolated where I live, its out in the country so very pretty but very boring and a 10 min drive into town. We live in a flat attached to my parents house, Ive been in here for years and Im feeling really boxed in and have cabin fever and do do the kids(2 under 3), I think living here is half my problem but we have no choice until we have paid off a lot of debts :(

I really should start walking, even if I have to drive into town and walk around! or do some yoga when the kids are in bed etc. its just ive gotten into this HUGE rut and Im finding it hard to get out of it.

Sorry for my ignorance but what are beta blockers and benzo's?

Thanks Linzy! :)

I talk heaps with my nana, she is a good listener and doesnt judge and she just always tells me Im not a freak(like I feel I am) and that Im just a normal person going through a hard time. I find it really helps when i talk to someone.

Its so ahrd going from feeling fine, to feeling like you are losing your marbles, I feel as though Im a crap mum somedays. Like today, is a bad day, spent half the morning worried and fretting over stuff, so I went out and had lunch with DH.
Yesterday was a good day though.

Glad that you have someone to talk to, I talk to my Mum alot and it helps, often just talking to her helps me put things into perspective. It was talking to her that got me motivated to get something done about Ben's poor sleep, before that I was in a rut and could see a way out and didn't have the energy to try

Have you had a look at Mothers Matter? It has alot of info about PND, PTSD and Anxiety including possible treatments and self care

I went for a walk with the kids this morning, and kept myself busy the rest of the day and today I felt pretty much normal, I didnt stress too much which was good, I only used my spray once :)

So I am going to make myself go for a walk everyday providing it isnt raining and set myself a goal for each day, like baking something, etc, and get to bed by 10ish instead of after 12 Im sure me being tired doesnt help matters at all.

Im also going to try and start making my own bread, I need something to feel proud of, like your vege garden Linzy, I think Im going to give that a go too! My nana and grandad have a huge vege garden and Im sure they will give me some pointers :)

Yep the days where Im feeling really down and Im bored are the days my mind starts going into over drive and those days are always bad, so I usually go out somewhere just to get out of the house and stop my mind paying tricks on me.

The exercise today really helped, It sort of geared me up for the day!

Hey, thanks hun *hugs*

I've been for another work today(OMG this time it nearly killed me lol) but I feel refreshed and pleased with myself! I made sure I had breakfast and a cup of camomile tea.
Im just trying to do things that keep my mind off the bad thoughts and stuff, hopefulyl the more I can do that, the anxiety will leave me alone.

Send me a PM on FB when your going to be online next Emz then we can have a girly chat :)

Thanks Mel :)

Um triggers for me are health issues usually, I always stress that something is wrong with me or the kids. One week I was stressing over freckles and moles and the next it was cancer IYKWIM, and then I make myself so tense and "nervous" that I start stressing even more, because I have these "symptoms" that I know are my anxiety casuing them as when Im out and about and in the fresh air Im feel fine, as soon as Im in my car or house(especially on a crap rainy/windy day) I start to worry obssesivly about these health things.

Ive made the mistake in the past of googling things and FREAKING myself out big time, then I start convincing myself that yes I must have "this" , its so exhausting
Google is evil evil, so I don t google symptoms anymore lol

The last few days Ive felt much better, a few things Ive changed are - As said above, the walking, Ive also tried to eat better, and Ive been in bed before midnight, and generally sleeping all night, except when Bella wakes lol
I was going to bed well after midnight and I think i was getting very over tired, as a few weeks ago I went through a really bad patch, I was just so uptight and worried, and I felt horrible, so of course I thought I must be very sick or something *sigh*

AW, sounds like you are having a tough time. Now, I don't want this to sound wrong-you are a normal person but your feelings are NOT normal.

I am glad you are doing some things to make you feel better. Just don't forget that you don't have to be strong and getting help from professionals works for so many people. If you are on the right meds you might find that they really work for you. On the other hand a counsellor might be able to suggest some really good techniques to deal with anxiety...so it is really worth seeing someone.

Good luck!