Any Tips?

when Ben was about 4wks old my mw tested me and I was borderline PND. One of my "triggers" is trying to be supermum and get the house tidy all the tme, doing activites with the kids etc etc. So one of the things I did was try and ease up on the pressure I was putting myself under for housework and I cut back on some of the activites I was doing with Jack. At the time it helped.

Then late last year it got bad again due to a number of things including Jack having his leg in a cast and then being stuck to me like a limpet constantly. So I went to the doc and they arranged counselling for me. That was great as I talked through things and learnt alot more about my triggers. I was really great over xmas and New Year. Again I tried to relax, decided that we wouldn't go to the family bach if there were too many people there, came up with some strategies before going so that I could be more relaxed with Ben's routines so we could enjoy the beach etc.

About a month ago it got bad again, Ben was teething, it was hot, he wasn't sleeping etc so I went back to the doc and I went on meds. Since then I have been really good. My prescription is for 3mths, not sure what will happen when I finish them. I was worried that I wouldn't feel anything, that I would be in a fog. It isn't like that, I feel relaxed, I still get frustrated with the boys etc but it is not so bad, it doesn't happen as easily and I don't feel overwhelmed as quickly. Mum actually said to me that other day that I had a bounce in my voice that she hadn't heard in ages.
I have also had the doc refer me to MMH, I am due to have my first appt on Wednesday.

During this whole time I have also tld family and some friends and they have been really supportive. They have listened when I needed to talk and have provided practical help with jobs or looking after the boys when I needed to catch up on sleep.

Anyway I hope my rambling helps you in some way. Good luck and . I think the hardest part is asking for help.

I am very sorry to hear that no one takes it seriously. I have been very lucky in that my family and the few friends I have told have been very supportive and helpful. DH has been great but I don't know if it really hit home until he came with me to the appt when I asked for the meds.

Where do you live? I know that in Wesy Auckland we have a PND support group, I haven't been but I have heard that it is great. Is there anything like that where you live?

Having a doctor who listened to me, didnt make me feel like what I was feeling was normal and I should "just get on with it" and prescribed meds was a lifesaver.

Its easy for me to list the things that contributed to my PND and I hope I will be able to avoid those things this time round... things like:
- a c-section with dreadful recovery when I had so badly wanted a vaginal birth
- having family descend on us from overseas with no notice the day before the birth
- having to look after a new baby and said family members - cook, clean etc day in and day out
- returning to work straight after the birth
- baby refusing to take the breast once she'd seen a bottle
- baby not sleeping for longer than 40 minutes at a time for the first year of her life
- DH suddenly discovering he could sleep for 9 hours straight after years of insomnia

Much harder for me to list the things that helped... besides meds.

This time round I'd like to think better preparation will leave me less exposed. Family are being told we will be having no visitors! I will not expect baby to sleep - at all. I am prepared for the fact that I may not be able to combine breast and bottle feeding and think I have prepared myself to be ok with that. Sadly, still have to return to work after only 12 weeks but thats better than it was previously. I'll also accept help from friends when its offered instead of saying yes and then feeling odd about leaving them with baby while I go shower/sleep

And, if I need them again I'll ask for meds. I've gone from being someone who does not believe depression exists to being a fervent advocate of AD's when necessary!

Yeah, I think being easy on yourself is probably the first step to things getting better.

My doctor, when she prescribed AD's also prescribed that I be nice to myself, starting with a hot bubble bath and a bunch of flowers. She's a smart woman!

I had a lot of the factors that lead to PND:

- Poor family support
- Financial problems
- Relationship problems
- Unmet expectations in birth experience (emergency c-section and was not allowed to hold my baby for 1hr after birth which took me a long time to get over - possibly haven't got over it)
- Feeding problems

I am quite borderline, just under the "10" score on the Edinburgh Scale thing.

I notice that my mood is hugely affected by what I do for myself. For instance, going off to a Baby Onboard movie or having my husband look after my baby while I get a cup of coffee and read a book or go swimming. Even if it's just for an hour. Having my mum babysit while DH and I spend some time together. These things don't happen often, but I try and make them happen as often as possible. And attend coffee groups and so on because just hanging out with people lifts my mood immensely.

Because of my pregnancy and birth experience, next time I am going on others' recommendations on a midwife rather than finding my own. Have decided to deliver at Waitakere and then go to Helensville Birthcare to get a good post-natal experience. Will make sure I get the care I need pre-natally so I don't repeat such a terrible labour experience as last time.



Edited by newlywed