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nathansmummy 
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Joined: 20 July 2010
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 Topic: What stops you getting help?
Posted: 10 June 2011 at 1:48pm |
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Hi again - I hope you don't mind me asknig these questions. It's really helpful to me because I am obviously helping women with PND and apart from haivng it myself it's helpful to know how best I can help and to understand as best as I can.
Anyway, something I have struck is the reluctance mothers have to going to their doctor. I was the same - it took me nine months to go and in the end it was a counsellor that convinced me.
Why do you think mothers have that reluctance? For me it was admitting that I had PND but also I think I wanted to be able to cope and it was hard to admit I was not coping - I wanted to be like "other mums". I felt shame and guilt. That's how one mother described it to me. What are your thoughts? I am trying to help one mother at the moment who just will not go to the GP! It's so frustrating and I'm not sure if there's anything else I can really do until she's ready to.
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KitKat
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Joined: 22 August 2008
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Posted: 10 June 2011 at 3:19pm |
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I realised when I counted the 'good' days, and the bad days, I only had about 4 over 2 years that I could remember. And I couldnt remember a day I hadnt cried for some reason or another.
I was reminded by someone that pregnancy is a huge hormonal change for your body, and some find it easier than others. and that sometimes it needs help recalibrating (so to speak) afterwards.... Ie- my body wasnt going to fix itself...It was struggling... like having diabetes, you need insulin, depression- you need help to rebalance the hormones. It doesnt have to be forever necesarily....
I was actually terrified of taking medication. I was prescribed Citalopram... and it sat on the bench for 3 days before I had the guts to take it. I was afraid it would make me crazy, or worse... When it comes to the mind, its a scary realm of unknown. I was scared.
BUT- after talking through the fear- I took it, and by day 2 was my old self again... well, almost. And after the yawning and the jaw clenching wore off (side effects) I wished Id started 2 years ago.
I know everyones story is different, this is a bit of mine.
I guess the simple answer to your question for me- was fear. The cloud is so thick, you struggle to see through it. You just go into 'try to cope day to day' mode.
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nathansmummy
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Posted: 10 June 2011 at 4:12pm |
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Thanks Kitkat.
I wonder what would be helpful for a mum to hear so that she can push through that and get the treatment she needs?
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1st_Time_Preggies
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Posted: 10 June 2011 at 6:44pm |
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For me it was hard to admit that I wasn't coping. I kept thinking I "should" be okay, that I "should" be happy, etc etc and everyone told me it was normal to feel a bit of anxiety. But crying every day three months in and wishing he wasn't born, well that just isn't normal. It was actually seeing another gp (not my own) who I cried in front of, that finally pushed me to get help. I went on medication (very reluctantly) and life turned around slowly but surely!
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KitKat
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Posted: 11 June 2011 at 2:10pm |
It surprises me how many people seem to suggest its normal to feel so low with a newborn (or in general really PND or otherwise)... it is to a point postnatally with hormones etc, but when its worse than that, and prolonged... what then.
Like 1st time preggies- I kept saying to myself I 'Should' feel better etc.
I needed someone to say-
"you need help, you are obviously suffering PND life can be better for you" "You dont need to feel like this everyday"
1st Time Prggies- glad things are on the up 
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Chickoin
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Posted: 11 June 2011 at 11:24pm |
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I have been lucky not to suffer from PND but have had a few friends who have. For some of them it was like they needed their partner's support and encouragement to talk to someone about it.
For one mum she was too scared to see her GP because the main symptom (can't think of the right word) was that she felt like hurting her baby so she thought that by going to her GP the first thing that would happen was that her baby would be taken away.
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girly_girl
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Posted: 12 June 2011 at 5:20pm |
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For me, it was acknowledging that things were getting much, much worse and it wasn't normal. It took a major breakdown (and me wanting to leave DH) for me to realise that something was up. Once I acknowledged it I could do something about it - I was just really scared of being labelled and not being good enough.
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amme_eilyk
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Posted: 30 June 2011 at 9:04pm |
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for me I have an underlying anxiety disorder so the anxiety behind having to say it to a stranger is hard
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What stops you getting help?
