Explaining child abuse to other kids

Kiya brought home a notice yesterday (that she didn't give to me until this morning, but that's not the point) that triggered a conversation over breakfast:

"Ohakune Primary School, Staff and Students, as part of the wider community, would like to participate in the 'Stand Against Child Abuse' tomorrow at 12.12pm. Parents and Community memebers are welcome to come along. Any donations received will be sent to 'Starship Children's Hospital' to help with efforts to combat child abuse and aid victims. Lets all be part of the solution."

Kiya can read well enough that she read the notice and asked what it was all about. I carefully explained to her that sometimes adults hurt children they are supposed to be looking after. That this is not a single smack or growling because the child has been naughty but hitting for no reason that doesn't stop, and especially hitting with an object, because the adults don't care if they hurt the child. I told her a little about Nia (nothing specific, just that a 3yo girl had died because she had been hurt so much by some grown-ups - Kiya asked if her Mum had cared that the girl was hurt and I said "Yes, she said she did" and left it at that).

I explained to Kiya that the point of the Stand-up time was to stand and be a part of a big group of people all over New Zealand who are saying "We don't want to see this happening any more to our friends, and our children, and our friend's children, and our children's friends". I said that people were going to stand for 3 minutes because the little girl was 3 years old, to show they didn't like what was going on, and that they were going to be quiet and think aobut what they can do to help stop children getting hurt by grown-ups. We talked about what she could do if she saw someone being hurt by their parents (eg if she saw a little kid being abused as she walked to school, or if a classmate came up to her and said "Kiya, I need to talk to someone. My mum has a new boyfriend and he keeps hitting me, and Mum doesn't believe me"). Kiya had some good ideas, like talking to me or Nat, or her teacher or principal, or to her friend's mum who is a nurse. Kiya said that staying quiet for 3 minutes would be hard for her but that she would try because it was important.

This was a very hard conversation for me! We don't hide things from our children (hence the honest response) but I did want to shelter her just a little longer! How would you have approached this question?

Edited by daikini

Thanks Janine. It's really tough, because I wanted her to be aware of the importance of what she was being involved with (and I have no idea what the school will tell her); but at the same time I didn't want to overwhelm her. If she hadn't initiated the conversation, I probably would have waited until she was about 8yo before talking with her about this sort of thing.

Becca I think you said it the best way it could be said.

I too had talked to my children (older ones) about it. Brooke asked more questions and so I had a long talk to her about it and even said to her if she saw something happen that she felt wasn't right (and she is old enough at 9 to know whats not right) to tell me or if she felt she couldn't tell me tell a teacher. I know she would tell me over a teacher but felt she needed more than one option.

So becca well done. i do think Kids need to know what goes on - obviuosly age approperate on what they know.

On the 12.12pm 3 minutes silence i did it.

Welldone Becca. You handled it very well

They did the stand outside for 3mins silence today at my kids school as well.

Mercedes was home sick with me today so I took her and Alize outside for the 3min silence at 12.12pm. She knows about the abused children in NZ and has seen it on the news and we have discussed it as a family many times. It would be nice for her to be sheltered from it but I think its harder to shelter kids with older siblings esp when they are a lot older.