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T_Rex 
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Joined: 07 March 2007
Location: PN
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 Topic: Building a village...
Posted: 20 May 2010 at 1:14pm |
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I'm starting to feel very worn out from 5 months without sleep, and plunket (and I) suspect I need to get proactive to get me back on track. I'm not depressed (yet) but it's a very real risk.
They suggested I start asking for help - to do laundry etc. Trouble is, my laundry is usually up to date, my dishes are usually done fairly quickly, and we tidy the house every weekend. I don't feel like I'm struggling with housework.
I'm on a fairly limited diet because of DD's intolerances, so even getting people to cook for us is risky.
I've been a good girl and put the word out, and I have lovely friends clamouring to help, but they don't really know what thry can do. I've said to come and visit but what else?
I want some ideas of what people have done that is helpful please?
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lilfatty
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Joined: 22 August 2007
Location: Waitakere
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Posted: 20 May 2010 at 1:31pm |
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They could just sit with your DD while you have a nap.
Also massages are blissful!
Grocery shopping?
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Mummy to Issy (3) and Elias (18 months)
I did it .. 41 kgs gone! From flab to fab in under a year  LFs weight blog
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Bel
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Posted: 20 May 2010 at 1:33pm |
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Trouble is, all your stuff is up to date because you are trying to do everything! So what if you had a day off once a week and got a friend to come around and spend it with you and your daughter. Then they could make lunch, cups of tea etc while you rest. Am sure they could play with your DD while you had a sleep too...
We all understand
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Luke (09.11.2007)
Amy (01.04.2009)
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Kellz
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Posted: 20 May 2010 at 1:38pm |
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I agree with Bel! Use the help! I found I can keep up to date with the day to day cleaning, but not the bigger jobs like washing windows, moving all the furniture to vacumm throughly etc etc- maybe make a list of stuff like that taht needs doing and let the people willing to help you choose something off there to do.
If you dont already, start expressing, and let someone mind her for a hr or so on a regular basis so u can get some time out. Even if u dont want the break yet, stock up on milk in the freezer so its available so u can have some time off at some point. DD will love the change of scenery too!
Have some time for you and DH too, its really important!
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myfullhouse
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Location: West Auckland
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Posted: 20 May 2010 at 8:45pm |
I know how you feel about not having much/any sleep so  .
What do you think will help the most? I found that on good days/weeks I could easily keep up with the housework and often felt guilty if Mum helped me out with it.
For me I felt I needed company as although I love being a SAHM I also missed adult company. I also find that although I get hardly any sleep at night I can't nap very easily during the day, so having someone call in for a cuppa meant I sat down and rested a while.
For me having someone I can call at the drop of a hat is great. I often ring Mum for a chat if I am having a bad day and she can either help me with advice or just have a chat to calm me down and then I can put things in perspective.
On a few occasions I have just put the kids in the car and driven to SILs for a cuppa when I just needed time out which was great. And I have been able to 'pay it forward' to a friend with PND who did the same thing and called in here for a cuppa
Hope this helps
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caliandjack
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Location: West Auckland
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Posted: 20 May 2010 at 9:05pm |
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You know I am a qualified masseuse - text me and we'll organise a day for me to come over with my table and stuff - DD can watch if she wants.
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  [/url] Angel June 2012
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mummy_becks
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Posted: 20 May 2010 at 9:10pm |
 caliandjack wrote:
You know I am a qualified masseuse - text me and we'll organise a day for me to come over with my table and stuff - DD can watch if she wants. |
And they are wonderful massages from her 
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I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived!
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kiwisj
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Posted: 21 May 2010 at 2:47am |
I remember having a very similar conversation with my health visitor here. I felt the same way as you - all the chores were pretty much up to date so what could anyone do to "help" ?!
In the end, after a long chat with DH that I knew nothing about, MIL flew over to stay for 3 weeks. After a couple of days settling in and getting to know C, we went out for a walk one lunch time. We got to our front gate and MIL sent me back inside to have a swim on my own! I was petrified about leaving C with her but I did it. And it was SO NICE.
Over the course of the 3 weeks MIL sent DH and I out to have dinner on our own, sent me out shopping for a new outfit with my bestie and helped me host my first coffee group (and tidied up afterwards). Sure I moaned about her to my girlfriends, but she truly was a lifesaver!
The point of my long ramble  is that the chores and stuff might be looked after. But at the moment YOU are not. Let people come and help with a job, or with watching your DD so that you can take some time for you. Even if you can't sleep during the day (I never could) you will feel recharged having an hour or so to yourself just to BE 
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SJ
Callum - Dec 2008
Daniel - Oct 2010
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kiwisj
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Posted: 21 May 2010 at 2:48am |
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PS, re the restricted diet and meals... perhaps you could give some favourite recipes to some trusted friends/rellies so they know what to cook for you? By trusted I mean the opposite of "well meaning" people who think a wee bit of *something* can't possibly do any harm ;)
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SJ
Callum - Dec 2008
Daniel - Oct 2010
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T_Rex
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Posted: 21 May 2010 at 3:35pm |
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T_Rex
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Posted: 21 May 2010 at 3:38pm |
kiwisj wrote:
The point of my long ramble is that the chores and stuff might be looked after. But at the moment YOU are not. Let people come and help with a job, or with watching your DD so that you can take some time for you. Even if you can't sleep during the day (I never could) you will feel recharged having an hour or so to yourself just to BE |
That's a really good way of putting it, thanks It makes sense when I hear it like that.
I've got a few friends going to call in for visits when they get the chance, and a couple of babysitting offers. I agree, even just some adult conversation is great.
And that's a good idea about giving recipes to a few trusted people 
Ok, crying baby, gotta run, but thanks 
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caliandjack
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Posted: 21 May 2010 at 4:51pm |
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[/url] Angel June 2012
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Building a village...
How did I not know this? I'm flat out next week but will PM you in a week or so