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Rachael21
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Topic: Letting go Posted: 03 January 2010 at 9:53pm |
Ok so I have turned into one of those anxious parents now that Jack is older. I worry about everything he does when he is not in my eyesight and feel like I'm always telling him to not do that when we are out. I notice other kids that are out about the same age who are 'allowed' to do whatever they want. For example we just went camping and there is a gravel track thing for the cars to drive up and down I wouldn't let Jack anywhere near it even though the cars only go 8km/hr and there were hardly any cars. When we were leaving a family set up next to us and I noticed their kids were allowed to play on the gravel and were quite sensible.
Most of my fears are about him getting hurt, I imagine terrible things happening and get quite stressed about it. I really don't want to keep being like this but then I don't want him to run wild either.
I feel like I don't trust Jacks abilities and feel like I'm holding him back with my anxieties. So anyway how on earth do I pull back and let him do his own thing?
Thanks
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peanut butter
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Joined: 20 February 2007
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Posted: 03 January 2010 at 10:19pm |
slowly and gently.
I personally would be pretty strict about roads/driveways etc.
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james
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Posted: 04 January 2010 at 7:38am |
I,m so like this with james was huge thing to let james go to the park with his cuzzys in bluff .
I wouldnt let a child play by the road you just never know and they have very little road sence.
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lizzle
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Posted: 04 January 2010 at 8:33am |
I'll think and let you know what we do. on holiday and using up hotel's broadband
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mamanee
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Location: Hamilton
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Posted: 04 January 2010 at 1:59pm |
I am the same with Sam, although he is over a year younger, but I can see myself being the same in a years time. I see other kids that are the same size as him, but I can tell by their mannerisms and speech that they are much older, and so people probably wonder why I don't let him go down huge slides or other things like that.
I sometimes feel bad but I just don't trust Sam in certain situations as he's just so sneaky and I know he will either break something or escape, which he proved by sneaking out the fire escape door at lollypops when I was 9 months pregnant!
I also have terrible fears and anxieties about him getting hurt and it's even worse when I have to let him go off with his father for a week as I feel like other people wouldn't watch him as carefully as I do.
So, sorry not much advice there, but I understand how you feel!
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Jennz
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Posted: 05 January 2010 at 5:59am |
Hehe- you're worrying about worrying too much?
I'm the same really- I think I've eased up a little over time, but not really! I would never let either of mine play on a driveway or road, possibly if I was standing right there but even then I would be hovering beside them. My main worries are water safety, strange dogs and traffic- and I have been rather zealous when it comes to any of these. I used to worry that I was holding them back but now Charlotte is a little older I can see that she is pretty sensible compared to others her age, she's cautious but still has fun which I am pretty happy with
I let mine go in controlled environments- when they're at the playground, or we're going for a bush walk some of the stuff they do almost gives me a heart attack but I figure if they fall there, its a soft landing and probably a good lesson! Its just one of those things I think you need to ease yourself into. Plus I think it depends on the child, Charlotte has always been alot more sensible than Kate and so I think their boundaries will be different.
Sorry, not really much help, but you're not on your own!
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Jen, Charlotte 7 & Kate 3
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Rachael21
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Posted: 06 January 2010 at 8:20pm |
Thanks it doesn help knowing I'm not the only crazy one Water and traffic are my two big ones as well Jennz, Jack is quite a cautious kid and I wonder if I made him that way or he is just like that anyway. So it seems I'm not as bad as I think I am maybe I just need to ease up a wee bit.
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Nikki
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Posted: 13 January 2010 at 9:16pm |
Gosh I wouldn't let Jake near a road either! Or alone near water ... I don't even leave him alone in the bath for more than a few seconds now, at 2.5 years! I'm sure I won't be much better when he's 4 either. He can take all the risks he likes at daycare or in an environment that is controlled ... or when hes with daddy (who does more rough and tumble / physical stuff) .... but with me I like to know hes safe. And I don't mind if you call me anxious or paranoid or whatever - thats what my maternal instincts tell me to do!
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DS (5yrs) and DD (3yrs)
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escadachic
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Posted: 28 July 2010 at 10:46pm |
Oh awesome! I know see I am not crazy and several other Mums are just like me.
I don't feel too bad about being so protective, as I figure nothing really bad can happen to her while she is with me. She is less cautious now and tries more things, despite me being the way I am, so I don't see it as a bad thing, as she still acts like most other child and isn't being held back from enjoying herself, despite me.
I say your fears are justified. There are so many accidents and such that could've been prevented if all parents were more like us. So just feel good for caring so much and looking out for your children.
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Bizzy
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Posted: 29 July 2010 at 9:25am |
i think in the case of roads you have to be careful... and too many people are not careful enough.
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Kimnthekids
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Posted: 16 August 2010 at 8:16pm |
Is good to see this thread and know im not alone lol.
My Jacks turned 3 two months ago, and i tend to keep a close eye. Not always - like at lollipops or whatever i sit back and let him go for gold (of course i often dress him in a bright colour so i can watch from afar lol)
But we visited friends the other day and they had a daughter 3 months older than he is. The two children rgabbed toy pushchairs and went zooming around the house, then headed outside. I of course headed out too, and the girl started down the driveway. Jack of course went to follow but i stopped him, then we watched as she ran to the end, turned and ran back. Her mum was telling me i needed to loosen up, that it was the only place they could zoom up and down without crashing into anything (true) so i let him follow after mentioning he needed to stop and turn at the end. Anyways, wasnt long before i was YELLING at him to stop, i was sure he wasnt going to the pace he was headed.
Like when do they get road sense? Or some sense of the world around them when theyre busy at play at least. I find it so odd that some children just stop or can walk along a footpath without holding hands, whereas i just dont trust that he wouldnt get distracted and dart somewhere, or something...
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TheKelly
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Posted: 22 August 2010 at 10:23pm |
Kids are all different, my daughter had road sense from 2, she wouldn't run onto the road , and if we were walking some where and she wanted to walk ahead, we would just do the "stop/go game "
(every few paces I would call to her to stop , then go again )
However her friend, only 6 months younger, still has really bad road sense , even at 7
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