How is everyone coping?

How I am coping varies so much from week to week, day to day, hour to hour.

I wish it was consistent!

I have had some really, really down days. A week or so ago I was picturing in my head, going downstairs and finding some broken glass and cutting my wrists    I didn't seem to being thinking clearly, as my baby was at home as was my older daughter. What did I think would happen if I'd gone through with this thought. Thankfully it was just a really bad thought and I just had a major cry instead. It's hard admitting to my counsellor or anyone who cares about me, that my mind went to such a dark place.

Today, I just feel really tired and have cried a few times. But I think I'm just drained as my iron tablets ran out a week or more ago and I have had any since.

Sometimes I feel so much better and like everything is ok again and I like that feeling. But then the cloud of depression starts to linger again

Cyfs came and visited last week, which made me feel rather down, knowing they were coming. It just makes me think of what a crap parent I believe I am and I don't like to be reminded of that. But they are there to help, so that's ok.

I will be going to a new PND support group soon. As I found all the women from the previous one...a bit snobby. Nothing against well off people though, I don't mind well off people if they are humble and pleasant. But most of the women from the old support group and snobby and clicky and my pet hate is clicky women!    I mean there are enough of them at my DD's school. That's the problem with living in a cheap house in a well off suburb. But of course, you do get the lovely parents though, who don't let money change them. So here's hoping the new PND support group is a more positive experience. They have a new person taking it, who is very well qualified, so that should help. Last person didn't gel well with me and didn't really listen to me or make me feel accepted or heard and often made me feel judged and that is not cool! I mean it's a SUPPORT group, I should feel supported.

Anyway, enough about me. How is everyone else?

Sorry to hear that you are having some down days escadachic. If you don't mind me asking, are you on meds? If you are, are they the correct levels? I was really reluctant to go on meds but have found them to be such a big help

Oh thankx ladies for being so caring.

I wasn't on meds, but like you Linzy, I have finally given in and started some yesterday.

I am only on 1/4 of a tablet for the first 4 days and then 1/2 a tablet til the packet runs out and then the Dr will reassess things and see how I am feeling. He said there is a better anti-depressant I can try, but it won't be subsidised til December. So for now I'm just on Citalapram I think.

It does in the short term. Which is fine. As the better one will be subsidised by December, so I'll go on that one after. Annoying thing is, Citalopram makes me feel really nauseous, even on just 1/4 of a tablet.

Glad to hear you are feeling slightly better on the meds escadachic. It is hard to go on them, but I too found citalapram really helped me. I am even thinking of weaning myself off at the start of next year! It is a scary thought but I want to give it a go. I have told myself if i start to feel that anxiety again, I can always go back to the full dose :-)

escadachic how are the meds for the thyroid going? My MIL has an underactive thyroid and I know it causes her probs incl tiredness.

I spoke to doc today about going off Citalopram and she has given me a plan to slowly wean off them, should take about 3mths in total which should bring me to about 1yr on meds.

Doing well at the moment. Had my appendix removed about 4wks ago. MIL came to stay for a week to help out and I did really well, normally having her in the house causes all sorts of problems for me as she does things so differently to me and it drives me nuts. But this time I just turned away and didn't let it bother me, was very proud of myself

Hi girls, I'm doing so much better now, I had a really rough patch and ended up with the crisis team. I'm currently under Hauora mental health and now on venlafaxine and seroqual. Stink, cos now I have to be on meds for even longer - but at least its getting sorted, and no more black thoughts!!

Oh yes escadachic - I very much internalise it all - probably to my detriment to be honest. I don't like to share in case I bring everyone else down with me. I'm complete rubbish with the phone too - the land line gets unplugged and my cellphone goes on silent. Sigh, its not pleasant is it?

I'm the same - more good days than bad now, but still getting the odd one sneaking in there. I feel that I am better able to cope with them now though as I know its not always going to be like this.

Hi all,

Not sure where else to put this, I have been diagnosed with depression in the last 2 weeks, i am having a bad day and just don't know where to find the motivation to do anything.

My fiancee left me a month ago and so now its just me and my 4 month old son. I feel so lost and lonely today it scares me.

How do others get on and find the motivation to just get out of the house?

Oh cheekymouse! You poor sausage - I find it hard enough being down when I have a husband to help ease the strain. I can't imagine how you are doing.

Is there a family centre or some such place in Chch? The one we have here in Hamilton has been my life line. You need some support networks around you hun.

As for motivation, that's part of the beast I'm afraid. In the end you do what you can, when you can, and escadachic is right, your sanity is much more important than housework.

I am under Hauora health working on my motivation. One of the things they have set up for me is a container with various jobs around the house in - I pull out one a day and that's what I do, no decisions necessary.