Strange emotions

No advice here sorry, just wanted to say I am sure things will go smoothly for you, and just take it one step at a time. I think what ever you feel will be the right emotion for you, what ever that is (I hope that makes sense?)

I had a scan with my last pregnancy because I thought I was having a boy. I really wanted the baby to be a boy because I wanted that pregnancy to be different from my previous one, where we lost our daughter in the second trimester. The scan showed that we were having a girl.

To be frank, it was a tough pregnancy emotionally because I was so concerned about another loss. I was alert to the possibility of PND and the birth opening up a lot of complex emotions.

For me, and it could be different for someone else, I was fine after the birth, and for the first seven months. After that I had some trouble with this online site that had taken it upon themselves to create their own online tribute to my daughter (without my permission and taken from cremation records). The grief reopened and I had a very rough month. I came very close to depression, and it has only been the last month when my daughter has consistently slept through, and that I made sure to protect my mood through exercise and talking that I have cheered up.

So I think it is a natural fear to have, and it may be that trouble dealing with some of the very normal emotions you might experience may come later than you might think.

I wish you a very happy and safe birth.