Newborn death sparks warning

My MW left me holding DD when she was only a couple hours old sitting in a chair after having no sleep for the previous 24 hours I was exhausted and I was so scared I was going to drop her.

The hospital midwifes put DS into bed with me when he was only hours old - i was sleeping with my hand draped across the bassinet so they just popped him in with me. I didnt sleep a wink after that i was terrified, in that high narrow bed!

early on though i used to sleep with DS lying chest to chest with me snuggled under my big person duvet. I'd wake up every morning and feel sick from guilt but he woke 3hrly for the first few months and i was exhausted and i'd just put him there for a second then wake up hours later when he wanted feeding again I still shudder when i think about it because it was such a dangerous position to be in. I know how irresponsible that makes me sound but the exhaustion overwhemled it all!

That is so sad, I used to sit up in bed at night & feed #1, I used to fall asleep every time cause I was just so tired.

I do agree about being so tired, when Lily was 5 weeks old she got the flu and was in hospital and I was so tired from being up and worried that I fell asleep on the spare bed and Lily was in the hospital cot and they had to wake me! First and only time that ever happened to me though. She just has to sniffle and I wake!

jules1980 wrote: A LC told me that when your milk is coming down a neurotransmitter is released (esp in the first weeks)which makes you sleepy.

This is why I think it's important to teach mums how to co-sleep safety or to lie down to breastfeed. Then when they do fall asleep they're in a safer position with baby. It is a shame that hospitals aren't better set up to allow safer co-sleeping seeing so many MWs do encourage it. One hospital I was in had the mesh pull up side rail, but the other two didn't...

That poor poor family, its not something you ever get over

My DD wouldnt sleep in the hospital so the hospital MW's insisted that I had DD in bed with me despite my protests and explanations that I had lost DS to SIDS so did not feel comfortable having my baby in the bed (we did end up co-sleeping with DD but not until she was 3 months). I had just had a C/S and still couldnt feel my legs to get up and move around to settle her, I got really upset and ended up staying up the whole night petrified that I was going to drop or roll on my baby. I was apaulled that there wasn't more help available.

That is terrible that midwives were so pushy about making mothers sleep with their babies. I know on my first night they tucked ds in with me, but they wrapped a blanket around the bars so he would not fall out and made it really safe for him, and if I didn't want to they would not have made me.
Bloody hell, that makes me so cross....when DS was first born, I was too weak to hold him so didn't really do the skin on skin and DH had to hold him, so I can imagine how hard that would be for some people to deal with if being forced to hold their babies (and not coz they don't love them but because they DO love them!!!)

Gosh, these stories are terrible. All of the midwives that I have worked with have been very aware of safe sleeping practices, I'm appalled by what some of you are saying.

Please - if you feel unsafe sleeping with your baby, don't let it happen. It is your baby, you have the say, even if someone else is being pushy.

aw that is so heart-breaking

I agree with what someone else said: if you don't feel safe, then don't do it. Though I understand it's hard to feel confident when you are a first time mum so are likely to do what the MWs say!

After having DD, a MW put DD in bed with me while I was having a blood transfusion, so we could have a nap. I literally could not move, so probably doesn't sound the safest but it was actually really nice.

She tucked DD into my hospital gown against my chest, saying "There you are, that's how it's meant to be. Just cuddle up and pretend the whole horrible thing (traumatic birth) never happened" which was so nice because I couldn't move my arms and no-one had helped me hold her. That memory still brings me to tears...though that could be the PG hormones too lol. Think it was safe though as I could not move at all, so couldn't roll on her or knock her out of bed, and she was in my gown so couldn't just roll out, plus it was daytime so there were more staff to come in and check.

Would be so awful to have your baby die through co-sleeping. those poor parents would probably never forgive themselves

When I had Mila after the euphoric "I never have to give birth again " vibes ended I was exhausted and the last thing I wanted to do was have my newborn in with me in those narrow high beds.
But they tried to put her in anyway,so I told them that I wanted MY baby in HER bed because I didn't feel safe,and I guess cos of my tone they knew better than to f*ck with me,cos they listened and put her back in her own bed