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KAC09 
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Joined: 15 January 2009
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 Topic: relocation order
Posted: 02 September 2011 at 10:03am |
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Has anyone gone for a relocation order and won? I ask because I am currently in an awful situation where the ex has come back and trying to get vistation rights after being gone for my sons entire lie (except 3 times beofer my son was 6 weeks old) but I have been planning to move overseas for over a year and am currently working my way up to going (getting my degree, money saved up etc.). And im just scared to hell of being stopped.
A few facts in my case:
My parents/step parents & sister live overseas
My degree/major is not something that will do well in NZ as far as job potential but is what I really wanna do.
I can only truley provide a good decent life for my son finically in another country.
I want to see the world with my son, and is my dream, to which I would be extremely devastated and depresed if I couldnt do it.
I have family in a few places in the world so have support wherever I go (pretty much)
His father is not someone who is reliable and worth any real part of my sons life anyway (you can debate this but hes been absent for his kids life, so when I made all our desions, his point of view wasnt relvant)
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KAC09
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Posted: 02 September 2011 at 10:10am |
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Also his father and I discussied this when my son was very little and I 1st came up with the idea, and he said go I wont stop you. But I know from experiance hes a lieing *sshole so I dont trust that.
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KAC09
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Posted: 02 September 2011 at 10:39am |
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Oh and another point:
- We already live 2hrs apart
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blessedmama
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Posted: 02 September 2011 at 11:10am |
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I have no experience with this but have you talked to a lawyer? They would presumably be able to advise you as to how realistic it is to get a relocation order.
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KAC09
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Posted: 02 September 2011 at 12:32pm |
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I have a lawyer, which I will talk to about it. but hasnt been discussed because up till now the ex stayed out of our lives.
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Plushie
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Posted: 02 September 2011 at 6:51pm |
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I thought it was the other way around - that you could leave the country as you pleased unless they applied to STOP you not that you had to apply to go! Sounds like the best thing for you to do would be chat to a lawyer or citizens advice as the answer will probably vary case to case and none of us have the answers.
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Shelt
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Posted: 02 September 2011 at 7:11pm |
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Yeah I was under that impression too bowie. I got DD's passport without her Dad's consent and took her to Australia - I did tell him we were going but I never asked for permission.
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KAC09
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Posted: 02 September 2011 at 8:17pm |
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Its apparently illegal to do any thing that would break the parenting order, if no such parenting order exists then theirs nothing to break. I have travelled with my son and that was fine. But now with the parenting order which will be around when the court battle ends, I have to get permission from someone that is a big fat lier. So angry right now!
My lawyers advice when we brief talked at the start was, leave tell no one until you arrive, then its too late. But once vistation is in the picture I beleive it makes life hard.
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freckle
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Posted: 02 September 2011 at 9:08pm |
I agree with the others, in that if there are no orders in place you can leave without permission... However, I think if he has already applied to the court to arrange a custody agreement, the court can order you to return the child. This is what happened to me when my child went overseas for a year at an overseas school, and I was ordered to appear in court on charges of child abduction... 
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mum to 3 lovely girls :D
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KAC09
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Posted: 02 September 2011 at 10:18pm |
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freckle im more on, I wanna leave after an order will have been out in place. Im still a few years of leaving and really just want to know what tipped the scale for ppl that have had to fight & have sucessed, so I can prepare early.
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Bizzy
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Posted: 03 September 2011 at 8:30am |
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i think if its a couple of years away then its no point planning for something you dont even know will happen. A parenting order hasnt been made yet and you have said before that you dont think it will last long before your ex gets tired of it and moves on. IMO you are probably beter off just concenating on finishing your degree and saving your money.
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FairyLights
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Posted: 03 September 2011 at 1:22pm |
Sorry to threadjack - So what I am getting from this is if there is no parenting order / agreement in writing, then you can just go?
My daughter is 1 1/2 and her father and I have nothing written down, it's all verbal agreement. He does pay child support through IRD. I have no intention of cutting her off from her father completely, but I am wanting to leave the city (not the country) to be with my current partner. Just quietly we have been talking marriage and children, but obviously that can't happen if we don't live together! :P
She currently spends a couple of nights a week with her dad, but at one point he himself left the city and Ashley didn't see him for about a month. She didn't seem bothered to be honest, but maybe it was the age.
Anyway. I'd be perfectly happy to fly her back to spend a week every 6 - 8 weeks with her dad.
Do I have to get his permission to leave? Her dad has made it VERY clear that he would stop us, but there is no parenting agreement for me to violate...?
Maybe I should start a new thread to ramble away in?
I didn't quite intend to write that much, but I don't fancy deleting it all now! 
Edited by FairyLights
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KAC09
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Posted: 03 September 2011 at 2:16pm |
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lol, no theirs not an agreement yet, but are in a battle to create one. after reading it i get the feel it is more aimed at calling me a lier and defending himself and turning it all around so I am the evil one, then it was about his son. I was angry, then got pissed, then cryed, then I laughed at how pafetic he is and the irony of the contraindication lies written on each line.I do feel he will create a parenting order, then stop me leaving county to be spiteful rather then actually caring.
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....
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Posted: 03 September 2011 at 3:15pm |
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@FairyLights I wouldn't suggest you just take off, the fact that you have a verbal agreement which you stick to shows that you have both agreed on visitation and routine.
I'd say the judge wouldn't be too kind towards you if you just take her away.
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Shelt
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Posted: 03 September 2011 at 9:35pm |
FairyLights I think technically you wouldn't have to get permission but....like BecBarrer said if it went to court the judge could order you to go back again. The family court publish a whole lot of cases online and I read some of them when I was going through the whole parenting order thing with my ex over my DD. Most of those cases are about mothers who have left the area they were living in and the father has objected. Judges can order the mother to move back again. They don't tend to take very kindly to mothers who just take the child/children away without the permission of the father, especially if that father has been actually seeing the child reasonably regularly.
I found this link on the family court website which explains what the court looks at when considering a relocation order. It says that the Court will always give priority to the welfare of the child, rather than the needs of the relocating parent. And that the Court has emphasised that relocation for a parent will not necessarily be followed by relocation of a child.
Linky about relocation from Family Court website
Edited by Shelt
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relocation order
