"No"

Well darling little Arna () has decided that NO is her new favourite word - and only when she has something she's not allowed and I ask for her to give it to me... before the whole "no" started happening this is usually what would happen...
"Ta for mum" (eg She has a pen)
- Arna will try and run away but I will catch her!
"You know that you are not allowed that (whatever it is) Please give it to Mummy"
- She gives it / throws it at me.

That I could handle - Now it's more like
"Ta for Mum"
"NO NO NO"
"Please can you give (that) to Mummy"
"NO NO"
"OK well I will take it off you then and you can sit in the middle of the floor"
"NO NO NO NO NO" - While she is running away
- So I go up to her and take the thing off her and explain why and sit her in the middle of the floor so she can have the inevitable tantrum.

My dilemma is since she has started learning what No is the tantrums are alot longer, high pitch and nerve wracking (and stressful!) When she says no to me for whatever reason I stop her then and there and explain that backchatting etc is not allowed...

Am I fighting a losing battle for limited backchat (I kow every kid does it!) or do I perservere?

Sorry if I have gone round in circles!!

hey lena well i did do a reply earlier but i keep changing it so when i went to post it i was logged out so threw my hands in the air and walked away lol. anyway back onto the topic. im sure it is a phase - with my boys a very long one lol. they still tell me no when i take things off them they arent allowed but i just ignored the "no" and focus on the thing they arent allowed as they usually know they not meant to have that item or be climbing onto my computer desk or pulling everything out of the fridge lol i could go on. anyway i was told that kiddies say no heaps cos they hear from us eg being told no you cant have that and its such an easy word for them to say so i wouldnt worry too much about her saying it. shes prob not old enough to understand the concept of backchatting you.
Well on to the tantys. I tell you i thought i had the cruisiest kids until they hit 2!!!!!! OMG i didnt know they could holler and scream for so long and so enthusically (sp?) lol. the first one was at plunket and keegs needed a nap change but has probs with strangers seeing his bits so packed a snot and upturned all the furniture!!! not bad for a skinny little 10kg 2year old

plunket told me typical 2 year old behaviour - i know arnas not quite 2 yet but maybe shes putting in some practice lol
The way i cope with the tantys (and thank goodness they arent too bad now) is to tell them to go lie on their beds until they feel better or if they are having timeout i just go outside or turn the sounds on lol. it will get better i swear
hope this rambling helps you lol

Kiya went through this. Here's what I did:

Tantrums: made sure she was somewhere safe, then walked off. When the nonsense ended, I would go back to her and we'd have a cuddle and a little talk about whatever it was she'd done wrong. Kiya quickly learnt that throwing herself on the floor screaming got her nowhere except into time-out, and no attention, but giving Mummy a cuddle and saying "sorry" was better because then Mummy would play with her. If we were out, I would crouch down, and calmly tell her that if she did not stop, we would be going home/going to sit in the car. I was prepared to follow through on my words, and I only had to a couple of times before she got the message.

Backchat: I didn't ignore the backchat altogether, but a simple "This is not how you talk to Mummy" was enough for then, and I dealt with it later on when she was a bit older and not throwing tantrums all the time. Since Kiya had the idea that shouting at Mummy was wrong, it was easy to extend it to that she should speak respectfully to adults. I started working on the backchat when Kiya was about 3.5, and Nathaniel and I are still working on it a little... I have the feeling this is something we'll be dealing with until she moves out of home, but little by little she's getting the idea.

hehehe My sister and I have only just grown out of back chatting and now they've got my brother going into it good and proper!

Just wait Lena... one year old backchatting is nothing compared to a 13 year old!

Good luck with it though. I think you are on the right track. Just remember to try and smile when kids are throwing tantrums. Stressing about it isn't going to stop them any sooner and only causes problems for you. (Yes, all very well saying this before my child has started throwing tantys... but I'm going to do my best to just laugh)

That's a question I could ask - is it possible to be happy and laugh at a tantrum or am I setting myself up for disappointment???

I would laugh at Kiya's tantrums all the time! She started feeling silly, so they stopped - she didn't like being laughed at, and would tantrum about us laughing until I said "if you don't want us to laugh, don't be so funny!"

lol I'll bet I'll be pretty fit once Hannah learns how to run I can imagine she'll be an escape artist