Support needed

HI, Im new to these boards.:) I have a 16m old....who has allergys to dairy, wheat, gluten, soy and egg.
Its so stressful!!....I dont have many friends with children...and the one good one i do doesnt reallly understand how hard it is to have a child with allergys. we had an incedent at playgroup the other day where my daughter ate some muffin that some other child had "hidden" in the toy kitchen in the playroom. I was really upset about it and to be told im over reacting is so not helpful.
What do your playgroups/center etc do to stop things like this happening.???

Hello welcome to forum!
Yep it is hard to explain to other mums about allergies because mainly they never did experiences or see the reactions to understand how serious can be.
I had issue with one of playgroups where they have "morning tea" after games, where children sit on the floor, but left mess on the floor afterward, enough for my DS2 who is crawling around helping himself to dairy product! So I explained to leaders quietly at the end of session that DS2 suffer from anaphylaxis shock if he get hold of dairy or simple trace of dairy on the toys/climbing frame etc. They wrote a warning on the sign-in books to remind parents about dairy products (most of mums have stopped bringing milk bottle to sessions. )
Also I had a small talk to principal recent about school bus children been giving foods to my DS1 despite he know he shouldn't accept it and bus driver got no medications for him on her bus. DS1 is only 5 years old and fully aware of his allergy ie knowing he is having reaction to warn me for his mediaction but not fully grasp the serious if he accidently ate foods that contain allergens in it without his medications Prinicpal did have word with school bus children and wrote a letter to parents to explain there is a child with serious food allergy on the bus.
Just talk to leaders in quiet and calm times when all of you are not too busy to explain the allergies. Allergy NZ got good information pack for playgroups/kindy to explain about allergies and how to deal within playgroups, that might help as did help with my DS1 and DD's kindy.
Most important, your LO need very calm mummy (five years on I learnt to hiding my "panic" feeling to allow my children to calm down during the reactions, not easy but it does help my children)

Hi, and welcome!   I have a 2-year-old with anaphylaxis to dairy, and she's nut and seafood free as a precaution for a couple more years at least. The support on this Board has been pretty cool, I've found. Also, are you a member of Allergy NZ? If not, they're good - their regular mag has info for us and if there's a support group in your area then they're worth getting involved in. If there isn't, are you keen on starting one up? There's bound to be other parents nearby facing allergy issues, and I hear ya on needing people who've 'been there' to understand sometimes.

That's pretty stink that you were told that you were over-reacting after the muffin incident. Have you had the chance to explain to the other mums at playgroup what happens when your child eats these foods? I found it incredibly scary at first with my daughter's allergy and all the foods flying about everywhere we went, especially when other kids were eating and sharing, and smearing food everywhere... but in time the people we know understood more, I settled down some (didn't get complacent, but came to terms with it more), and now I'm working on teaching my daughter not to taste foods that didn't come out of her own bag, and to understand that milk will make her sick. We're not there yet, but I'm hoping she has enough understanding to keep herself safe once she's at kindy.

...also (at risk of a monster-long post!), written info, plain factual info really helped our families and friends understand the risks unknown food posed to her. If it's something that takes the emotion out of the issue and is more about the medical facts, I think that helps some people decide for themselves whether or not they think an allergy parent is 'over-reacting'. And the people who know us are pretty good now and even help me keep and eye my girl when we're out and she's getting inquisitive. Take heart - it gets easier, and support is out there - it's not only the allergy people who can be supportive, I find it really touching when friends want to have food that's safe for my daughter at their houses. That said, I also look for food-free toddler activities to take her to (gymnastics, the kids time at the library), and the ones we go to with food are with people who know us.

Edited by Andie

I don't think you are over reacting, the trouble is though a lot of people just don't seem to take allergies seriously and probably never will unless they themselves had a child with an allergy.

It's a real shame that someone who is your friend doesn't understand though, I could understand that attitude from a random mum at the group but I would have thought that someone who knows what you have been through and what your child is like when they eat the foods would be a lot more understanding.

Sounds like you're onto a really cool plan for playgroup now - yay!
About your friend, if it's just a one-off difference of opinion, maybe it won't matter at all in time, as she'll learn more about allergies from you and that tends to gradually change people's perceptions. Before I had a child with an allergy I thought a lot of 'those' mums were over-reacting too. And in all honesty, I still think some people react in a way that doesn't help the situation at all, and who knows, maybe some people think I'm being too over-protective with my girl? Doesn't matter at the end of the day.

Ooohhh good luck for Thurs!
The tests aren't too bad - I was a ball of nerves before Ella's ones but they turned out not to be worth stressing over quite that much! What's she having done? Is it a RAST test or skin prick test, or both? Take something to entertain her for the 20mins you spend holding still for the skin prick test if she's having that done

Yeah Spencer found the skin prick test ticklish, he is a strange one though. Our paed didn't make him stay still for the results to come up he was able to sit on the floor and play with toys.

Good luck

Over 12 months they are normally accurate. That is stink that the nurse was so mean. Spencer had some more tests today and he was again fine, the paed just had him sit on my lap whilst he did them, not sure why the nurse felt the need to pin her down.
Still never mind it is over with now, and i'm sure she has forgot all about it. It probably upset you more.

The skin prick test wouldnt' show up an intolerance, so if you think she isn't good on diary she could perhaps be lactose intolerance. Lactose intolerance is caused by a deficiency in the enzyme needed to break the lactose down, where as an allergy is an immune response.

I'm surprised about the rice, that is normally a "safe" food. Although Spencer reacted to parsnips and root vegetables are normally "safe" as well.