Were your parents ’criminals’?

Ok so disclaimer here: I support the "anti-smacking" legislation and don't intend to smack my children, although it is far enough in the future that I wouldn't be able to 100% guarantee I will never lose my temper and give their backsides a quick flick.

But this seems a little bit excessive to me - heck, if my parents were raising me now they would probably have lost custody of me if this is the precedent! Herald Link

ETA - please don't misunderstand me, I'm not condoning the woman's actions, and hope to God I would never lose my temper like that myself - I'm just saying it seems a shame that she has to lose custody of her child when there are so many worse parents out there who still have their kids (assuming these were a one-off).

Edited by weegee

My sister and I were smacked growing up. My parents raised us in a loving household, and believe me, when they (I shoudl say Mum ) resorted to giving us an occasional smack, we totally deserved it. Personally, I am committed to using alternative methods with Natalie, but like you weegee, I can't say that it won't ever happen. I hold no grudges against my parents at all, and I actually think having it as a last line of punishment helped us to figure out where the boundaries were for our behaviour. (we weren't ever grabbed by our ears , but I do remember one incident in particular where I was being a right biarch, and just totally pushing Mum's buttons, and she did get mad and hit me - she apologised profusely over the years, but I was fine with it, and I think it made me realise that you didn't disrespect her!)

I think that for children living in families where they don't feel wanted, loved and secure that it can be such a dangerous thing to do however.

ETA: we were never injured, more just given a bit of a fright - I do think that picking up a child by the ears is absolutely terrible

Edited by blondy

eek I gotta stop being so contentious

nothing like some contention to make life interesting.....

blondy, you put it all so much better than I did!

Anti-smacking Nazi signing in.....

This woman's sentence is nowhere near harsh enough in my opinion.

Parents should not EVER have the 'right' to hurt their children, and I'm sorry but the whole 'I was smacked as a child and it did me no harm' is old and completely crap as a form of justification.

We are ADULTS. Yes. ADULTS. By now we should have managed to control our behaviour and not even think of smacking as a form of discipline toward our children. There is no justifiable instance where a grown adult should feel they have the right to use physical force (ie smacking) against their children. They are tiny little humans, and there is no circumstance where it is acceptable for us to use our grown up strength to hit our children into submission. Because that is what smacking is. Forcing our babies into submission.

Yes our children test us, and yes it gets hard sometimes. But it is not legal to lay a hand on another adult so why should it be ok to do so to a defenceless, innocent child?? How can that ever be ok???

Ripping ears so they bleed?? Do that to a grown up and you've got 5 years in prison. Given that our babies are about 1/32nd the size of a grown up the punishment should be 32 times as worse for doing it to a child.



No matter which way you look at it, smacking is NOT loving. It is big grown up people using physical force against tiny innocent people in moments of stress and pressure.

It is not justifiable, it is not ok, and people deserve punishment for using force against their babies.

We need smacking to be illegal in this country because SOOOOOOO many parents do not have the control over themselves to be able to "smack wisely". Whatever that is. We as a country have lost too many babies, and we must strive to make sure that this cannot happen again.

If enough parents, loving, wonderful parents stand against smacking and say it is not ok, then we are getting somewhere. But hearing people justify when smacking our babies is 'ok' sickens me. It is never ok. No matter which way you look at it.

Me too.

One thing I do understand though is reaching that point of being so angry you could hit them. Unfortunately many parents are too proud or whatever to accept that maybe they aren't coping and need help. There is plenty of help out there and our kids deserve parents who do the right thing. Getting angry doesn't make you a bad parent its doing nothing about it that does.

See, I was not smacked growing up. Granted I was a pretty good kid but Mum is a calm person who educated herself in alternatives to smacking so she could use other skills to get her message across. I know right from wrong, I know not to run out on to busy roads etc    

I don't smack my children and will never use physical force on them- I am completely anti-smacking. I totally believe that we live what we learn, I think its our responsibility to do the best for our children by educating ourselves and stopping the cycle of violence.

Parents need to find alternative ways to teach children right from wrong rather than just lashing out when they lose their temper. I don't believe anyone ever has the right to hit anyone else- the thought that loving parents could ever want to cause physical harm to their precious children just baffles me. I do everything in my power to stop them being hurt, I would never ever want to be the one to cause them pain. How do you think it makes them feel when the person they trust implicitly to protect them turns on them and is the one who is causing them harm? I can't imagine how much damage that would do. I don't think it teaches right from wrong- it just teaches them not to do something if they don't want to get hurt by their parents.

As for the case- I think she completely deserved her punishment. That child was in an abusive situation and he got removed from it, thats how the system should work. If he wound up being killed further down the line and all this stuff had been reported and he hadn't been removed, we would be in uproar. Its about time they start pre-empting things and rescuing the children before the wind up being news headlines.

I read about that too Kelly, and I don't actually think they clarified exactly why the charges were dropped. Might go off and do some investigating

My friends are doing a parenting course. And their children are involved in a another programe with the same organisation. The kids (mainly youngest who is 8) has been told that if the parents argue for more than 10 minutes, and one of the adults haven't left the house to call 111. I couldn't believe it! Are parents not even allowed to disagree anymore??

Edited to add childs age as I had missed out the number lol

Edited by Nefertiti