The verdict is in.

Hun, I have no info on the AD that you've been prescribed, but wanted to send lots and lots of hugs your way!  It would be a hard thing to admit when you're not feeling right, and that doesn't make you a failure at all - it makes you a honest and better person!!  I think you have to have guts and the will to feel better, to get help. 

 

I hope things look up for you real soon, and you'll be happy again!

fattartsrock wrote: It's NOT weak to take AD's, in fact it takes courage and strength to realise that doing nothing just dosen't cut it anymore, and having the balls to ask for help.

I totally agree with what Annie has just said.

And they also saved me as well. It does take a few weeks for them to kick in. I had no side effects with them.

Im on fluox, 20mgs a day too. I was on it prior to pregnancy and it worked really well except that while I never got really low, I stopped going really high too...I was just sort of existing. When I went off them a few years later I found I could get really high again...you know just having silly moods and stuff. But since having bubs Ive been going low more and more often. I went back on them 7 weeks ago but it hasnt really made a difference. So I might have to go on a higher dose or something. Anyway I haven't actually noticed any particular side effects this time...but its hard cuz with a new baby it's hard to know whats Fluox side effects and new-baby side effects!

I know what you mean about that questionaire thing. I couldn't answer "do you see the funny side of thing" and "do you look forward to the things you used to enjoy" as I don't ever laugh or enjoy things!

Hang in there hun, I hope it gets better soon Theres a few of us that chat in another thread on here "Whos got PND" so feel free to come vent!

Thank you so much for your responses.
I really truly appreciate it.

I think I probably worded it a bit wrong when I used the words 'weak' and 'failure'.
On the other hand though, sadly with the particular support group (or lack thereof) it's just the kinda vibe that gets given off.

Unfortunately, I don't really have anyone.
My family is about a 45 minute drive away, but whereas my relationship with Mum is good, she's not the greatest person to look to for support.
When I first got pregnant she was the fastest one off the starting block trying to get me to terminate the pregnancy. She loves to remind me of the fact that she told me things weren't going to be easy, and thatI most likely wouldn't cope.
In her opinion, I create my own drama, and put myself into positions where there's unnecessary issues. Depression? Pfft, no. You just don't know how to cope, you're not trying hard enough... I told you so. I told you so.

As for friends - Well, they're either working or studying, if not both.
They're either on the Kapiti Coast, or in Wellington, and it's almost impossible to orchestrate catchups and get-togethers.
It doesn't help that I feel alienated and ostrasized for the fact I am a Mum now. There's only 2 friends that haven't treated me like being a Mum is a contagious disease.
I realise this is probably all part of the territory of being a young Mum who wasn't really able to establish herself after leaving school.
I worked for a year at a sh*tty job, moved in with my Boyfriend and HEY PRESTO, what do you know - Bun in the Oven
Wasn't the most ideal situation, no.
But I was going to deal with it in the best way I could. Be it with, or without the help from others.

Admittedly I am proud of myself for stepping up to the plate and taking care of myself.
I don't know that I'd have done the same if I didn't have Eden, but who knows.
What I do know, is that I have an obligation to my child, and myself, to be the best me that I can be, and if that requires meds and therapy, well so be it.

I don't quite know what the whole point of this post was, but it's all relative.

I'm going to bed now, despite the fact I'll no doubt be awake for the next two hours at least (ick).
But thanks again for all the support and the replies.

I was on and off Fluox when I only had run of the mill depression and it worked great for me. I didn't have any nasty side effects.

Good on you for seeking help. That took such guts and proves that despite how you are feeling right now there is a strong amazing lady under it all!!!

Mumsy if it makes you feel any better you could have pretty much written that OP for me word for word. In fact you would have done a better job than I did

You have done a positive thing for yourself (and I bet that it's the first time in ages you have done something for YOU). I hope that in time you'll be as proud of coming through this as you are with sticking to your guns and being a great mummy. (did that make any sense???)