tantrum

Wow, since 7am - that girl has stamina!  Is DF around today or are you dealing with this by yourself?

It's been awhile since I've had to deal with older children's tantys and I've never had a child go for that long so I'm not sure that I can offer any advice.... just sympathy.

I think you've done the right thing.  It's really hard for a 4 yo to articulate her frustrations particularly when it's due to overtiredness and she doesn't understand it herself.  IMO timeout in her room is a good idea because 1) it gets her brother out of the firing line and 2) it show's that you will not put up with that behaviour.

 

Poor you! I know how hard it is to be patient when it just goes on and on, especially since at 4 they can answer back and say horrible things too!
When my 4yo is being like that I do the same as you have. Put her in her room and as calmly as possible tell her she can't come out until she can behave herself and treat everyone nicely. (For Ella this includes asking for things in a nice voice and not whining)
At 4 she is old enough to be left for a good long while (assuming she is safe in her room and can't hurt herself or anything), so if you can bear or block out the screaming and kicking for a bit, I suggest waiting her temper out. Ella has never done the screaming etc for longer than 20 mins or so. Once it goes quiet I give her another 10 minutes and go in to see if she's ready to come out and enjoy the day with us.
I don't know if your girl is like mine, but with Ella, I just can't reason with her when she is all worked up crying or in a temper. Its easier to just let her get it all out, away from us and then try again when she has stopped and is ready to listen and play again.
Also, if you're lucky she might fall asleep while she's in there! (fingers crossed!)
Another thing I *try to* do when Ella is really, really overtired and emotional is keep acknowledging her feelings and sympathising with her. Eg: Oh Ella, I know you're feeling really tired and sad, it must be really hard for you to be patient with Ben, why don't you come and give me a hug'
Sometimes that backfires and she tanties anyway, but sometimes she responds really well to it and I get lots of cuddles and love instead of tantrums
If all else fails, you could try snuggling her up on the couch with some popcorn and a DVD this afternoon. Close the curtains so its like a real movie and hope that she drifts off!
Good luck!!

ETA:   "Ella has never done the screaming etc for longer than 20 mins or so" - I mean in her room, without a target or audience.

Edited by caraMel

Don't stress about the neighbours, unless they're bored old snooty curtain-twitchers I'm sure they'll know how dramatic 4 year olds can be!

she starts to wind down for about 2 mins and I get all excited and ready to get on with my day and then she starts screaming all over again
The neighbours just turned there music up lol
It breaks my heart hearing her scream like this after my inital anger wears off

I did what you suggested and went up to room ( she was screaming "you will let me outa here!")
So i just said I know your tired and upset and that is why I want you to have a sleep and then you can come outside and enjoy the day with eveyone. She said ok and now we're down to quiet sobbing . And even our cats have decided it's safe to come inside.
Thank you sooooo much!

Yay, good on you for sticking to your guns (and good on CaraMel for the great advice).

I hope she has a good sleep and is back to being a lovely little lady when she comes out of her room.

Fantastic!

My niece (at 8yo) still throws massive tantys.  Yes, I think it's completely normal.

Thanks all feedback is good because its a reoccurring problem...yeh I still throw them too but she'd beat me hands down everytime lol
My tanty's have been alot worse since I've been pregnant tho.....DH hates me

fallen wrote: I have a suggestion thats not not very PC, but used to work a treat for my DD. It was suggested to me by a friend who has 7(!!!) children. When she had those tantrums where she completely lost control I put her into the shower, clothes and all and turned the cold water on. It used to snap her out of it really quickly. Then we could concentrate on finding her some dry clothes and moving on with the day.

sounds like child abuse to me!