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Alicia219545 
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Joined: 31 January 2017
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 Topic: what do you think?
Posted: 14 December 2017 at 8:24am |
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Hello everyone! How are you? I wasn’t active for a while. Now I’m finally back! I hope you will give me some advice. I faced a dilemma. As you probably know we are currently pregnant via surrogacy. We are 12 weeks pregnant. We didn't tell anyone about our surrogacy journey. Only my DH and my mom know. We want to make an announcement to rest of our family and friends in a couple of weeks. The thing is I don't know what to tell... I don't feel like I want to tell that we are using services of surrogate mother. I really want to tell that this is me! I am pregnant! So I’m thinking about a fake belly… My DH told "It's up to you!"
I know it may seem dumb to you. But this situation is so hard for me... I've been always dreaming to carry a baby, to have my belly growing, to be beautiful pregnant woman, to show everyone that I can carry a baby and I can give birth! I had 3 MCs and not only losses hurt but also those looks I receive from family and friends... You know, looks which are full of pity and sorrow as if I'm not a fully woman. This is the reason why I want to show them that I am happy! I am pregnant and I can carry my own baby! Even if this is not true... I'm afraid that sooner or later my secret will be revealed and the situation(and their looks) will be even worse... I have to decide now which scenario to choose, to tell the truth or to pretend pregnancy. What do you think? What should I take into consideration if I choose the second option? I will be really glad to hear your opinions! Maybe someone here faced the same problem.
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Olivia226494
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Joined: 28 October 2017
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Posted: 14 December 2017 at 9:04am |
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Are you planning on lying to the child also on how it was brought into this world? Cause if the whole community thinks this child was brought into the world naturally, then I would think you would have to continue this lie with your baby for the rest of your lives. Me personally, I would not be comfortable with this. Surrogacy is such a beautiful thing and shouldn't be hidden. You should be proud that you found a woman who is ready to carry your baby. And what happens when your child finds out? By hiding it, it seems a "dirty little secret" and no one should be made to feel that way. You'll also have to fake pregnancy symptoms. What if someone will touch your stomach? People do this, when you're pregnant. Sometimes even without your permission. What if someone finds out? I remember an episode from "Desperate housewives", when Bree was faking her pregnancy and someone found her fake bellies in the closet during baby shower. What if something like this will happen to you? I think this is not a good idea. Of course it's up to you, but you should think about it twice before starting such lie.
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Dia218655
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Joined: 22 December 2016
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Posted: 14 December 2017 at 9:09am |
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I agree with the comment above. The idea of having a fake belly seems really bad to me. You should think once again do you really need to fake your pregnancy? I can't see anything bad with surrogacy. Who cares what other people will think? The most important is you will have your baby you're dreaming about for so long time. I understand this is sad for you to except that someone else is carrying your baby. But you will be the one who will raise your child! This whole lie will only make your life complicated. You will have to fake it not only for a couple of months until the delivery. You will have to fake it for your whole life! Moreover you will have to lie to your baby. This is really bad thing to do. What if someone finds out about your lie? You will be embarrassed and you won't ever forget it. I think you should forget about other people opinions. You should forget about everything which makes you sad and unconfident. Just relax and enjoy your journey! You should enjoy each moment of it and to be proud and grateful you have such a great opportunity to have your own baby.
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Alicia219545
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Joined: 31 January 2017
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Posted: 14 December 2017 at 9:13am |
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Girls thank you so much for all your responses! I appreciate your advices. Now I can see that it was not a good idea to lie about my pregnancy. There are so many facts and symptoms which I won't be able to pretend. You shed a light on this issue. Now I see this idea was really stupid. It will be so embarrassing and sad if people know the truth. Also I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings lying to them. The most important is we'll have our baby very soon! This is the only thing I should care about. I told my DH that we won't hide the fact that we're having a surrogate. He thinks this is the best decision. Also we're going to tell our child about surrogacy. I think our baby deserves to know the truth. There is nothing bad in this procedure, am I right? We have nothing to be ashamed of. I should be proud and happy instead of hiding and lying about our pregnancy. I'm happy I can talk about such stuff with you here. Thank you so much for support!
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nany891227472
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Joined: 10 January 2018
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Posted: 10 January 2018 at 5:32pm |
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It's a good process in Ukraine. In a traditional surrogacy situation, the surrogate mother will become artificially inseminated with the sperm of the baby's biological father. In this case, the sperm is implanted into her uterus procedurally where the child can then develop in her womb. With traditional surrogacy, the surrogate mother is also the biological mother of the child.
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lexibell227575
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Joined: 19 January 2018
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Posted: 19 January 2018 at 7:06am |
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That's awesome! I would just tell it like it is... ""I'm pregnant!... as a surrogate!"" And if you can tell the story about for who, then do! I think it's something that should absolutely be celebrated, and let people know that this can be done and is done. You might open the doors for others through your candor. Congratulations to you and the other blessed family!!
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lenabr199848
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Joined: 15 January 2016
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Posted: 15 April 2018 at 10:54pm |
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I am sorry for yr mcs, and happy you got pregnant. Has yr doc recommended you PGS NGS cos of pregnancy loss?
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Me 38, DH 42
#1IVF - BNF, no implantation
#2IVF - BNF, mc
changed clinics, 1st appointment Gdansk - June 2018
#3IVF - Gdansk Poland, Dec 2018
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luha226083
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Joined: 23 September 2017
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Posted: 13 November 2018 at 2:54am |
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Hi, my friends also encountered a similar problem. They have passed the hard way to their dream, and after a while they decided on surrogacy. They applied to one of the clinics abroad, and now their surrogate is pregnant. My friend also wanted to pretend that she was pregnant.She did not want to tell the truth to her neighbors and acquaintances. Of course, close friends and relatives knew everything. But, we dissuaded her from lying, since it does not make sense. Why does she have to prove something to someone? Why should she think what the neighbors will say about her? We persuaded her to abandon this thought. As long as their surrogate did not give birth to a child, none of their acquaintances will ask any questions. And after their surrogate gives birth to a child, they will be so happy that neighboring gossip will not bother them. You should not be ashamed of the fact that you asked for help from a surrogate. Every person has his own illness and everyone suffers in his own way. You should not consider yourself worse than other women. After all, today surrogacy - a very popular and the requested option. Since, the problem of fertility worries many couples.
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pagerlvy33237502
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Joined: 30 March 2019
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Posted: 30 March 2019 at 3:29am |
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It is always better, to tell the truth! I think that unless you are a psycho you won't be able to maintain all of the lies you were putting out there. And if or when people find out the truth it will be too late. Their opinions will be formed and not in your favour.
So, even if some do not support ivf or surrogacy, you should stick to telling everything how it is. Not trying to persuade others that you have suddenly got pregnant and voila here is the kid
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nicolas268208
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Joined: 08 August 2021
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Posted: 15 August 2021 at 4:43am |
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what do you think?