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emmaohara View Drop Down
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    Posted: 01 May 2009 at 6:57am
Hey ladies

I have a nearly 3 year old who shows lots of the signs of being on the range of autism. He always plays by himself, hates new things - like food, and loud noises, only interacts with adults, lives in his own world most of the time babbling nonsense to trees...! etc etc

We have been advised to have him assessed at the hospital. I was wondering if anyone out there has done this and what actually happens.

I spoke to a friend who works in this division and she was in two minds over ben as he also shows signs of being 'normal', ie makes eye contact and is very affectionate with family etc and she said not to have this done until he is at preschool in august

DH wants me to go so we can learn how to help Ben cope with social interactions and focusing on us but I am not sure if he is too young for all this? I guess I'm still hangin out there that this is just a long phase hes going through..... and suddenly he will want to be social..but he is 3 soon....

Any help or advise would be awesome


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Bizzy View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Bizzy Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01 May 2009 at 8:50am
they may not be able to tell much at that age... i know at that age my older boy spoke nonsense all the time, prefered to be by himself, was great at keeping himself busy tho, seemed to lack any knd of focus....and if i read up on it i would have found he displayed some characteristics too. the spectrum is very wide tho and not all have trouble with eye contact etc. maybe you could talk to the person who advised you to get him assessed (i'm assuming its a medical professional) and see if they can give you more info

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emmaohara View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote emmaohara Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01 May 2009 at 1:05pm
Thanks Bizzy- today hes been soo normal, he even actively played with another kid ( well bounced on a bed with her..!) and answered clearly when asked a question...so no idea with him

its like if he wants to do he will, thats good to know other kids at his age are still talking nonsense, thinking the silly plunket lady has worked me up over him just being a bit different stressing me out about it all hmmm..guess time will tell with him


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Maya View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Maya Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01 May 2009 at 1:08pm
They're generally quite reluctant to 'label' kids when they're this age, but if you have him assessed it will at least get him in the system, so they can follow his progress as he gets older.

I get a bit paranoid about my Sienna coz she has her "special" traits, but it seems most of her behavioural issues stem back to her ears - I thought she was getting even more withdrawn and angry than usual this week but it turns out she has infections in both ears which is kind of a relief coz at least that can be fixed!
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emmaohara View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote emmaohara Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01 May 2009 at 1:22pm
Yeah Emma the last thing I want is for him to be labelled and to be honest until the plunket nurse metntioned in last week i always thought he was a bit difficult at times and his language a bit slow but that he would just develope at his own speed..after this mornings awesome behaviour i'm just going to leave it till he starts montesorri in august and see what they say,as hes been talkative and semi- social so far today!! Long may it last!!


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Aquarius View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Aquarius Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01 May 2009 at 1:28pm
hi emmaohara..
yes ..take him and get him checked!!!
my son was diagnosed at 2yrs of age..and he too was loving (cuddles) and had eye contact..but tyere was just something about him that we thought ...mmmmmm, sounds like you too are thinking that.
the process is very easy..just list all you can think off to discuss with the doctor and i have to be honest here..DONT sugar coat it. two reasons...

if he misdiagnosed and they say he fine and hes not you will miss out on valuble resources and information PLUS you will be back to this point in years to come..

if he is diagnosed and he is actually fine..no harm done! its nothing medical so that wont affect him his funding or/and resources can just be stopped and life goes on...its not evasive.

do it now and dont wait till preschool because it takes time to sort and things may not come his way till school starts and that can be extremely stressful...my son had such an early diagnoses that by the time he ready to start kindy he had funding for teacher aide and all specialist help ready to go!! your doctor/paediatrition will point you in the right direction...good luck
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emmaohara View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote emmaohara Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01 May 2009 at 4:03pm
Ohh thanks aquarius


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BaAsKa View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote BaAsKa Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01 May 2009 at 4:35pm
my boy has finally been diagnosed with aspergers after a very lengthy stay on the waiting list!!!

The specialist said to us that there is very rarely 2 kids on the spectrum that will have the same traits so noone can say "no he doesnt have it bcos he doesnt do this or that" (there is a check list though but they dont have to have everything on it).

We knew something wasnt quite right from the very beginning - he hated being around other people as a baby, wasnt interested in any toys at all and if you gave him a car he just wanted to pull it apart so see how it worked!! (and that was from VERY early on like 8 months!), he also rocked back and forth and shook his hands (like the moari wiri wiri) ...amoung a long list of other things!!.

Bays plunket nurse picked it up at 2.5yrs and we said that we had suspected it.

To the average person Bay looks perfectly normal and really - he is!! hes super intellegent, is very much into computers, space, planets etc and is managing ok at school, but there are the other things like - he will freak out in school asembly and hide at the back covering his face, his doesnt really get on with other kids, hes very literal, he finds it hard to take direction (not like a normal child his age!!! he will get confused about finding his shoes when hes actually holding them in his hands!!!!) and is VERY defiant over everything!!!

I havnt got the hang of it yet and we are booked in to see an aspergers specialist who is going to help us learn how to deal with him.

Anyway that was a huge waffle!!!
I would definately get him checked out, i have heard of quite a few kids being diagnosed early! and if they say theres nothing wrong then you havnt lost anything by doing it.

good luck
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Chickaboo Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01 May 2009 at 8:02pm
I agree with those who have said get him checked - as no loss really.. you;ve got everything to gain.

My 15 DS has high functioning Aspergers and hes is the most loveable. effectionate child - and this has been all his life. he also can look you in the eyes - he even has lots of friends who he interacts with all the time... BUT there was some 'differences' that set him aside.

But thats my DS story (not all of it but a bit in a nut shell) and your Ds will have his own set of 'differences'

So why not - not brush it off - get him checked and then you will know one way or the other (although we still sometimes think - does he have it )


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james View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote james Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 02 May 2009 at 7:45am
yes please go and get him checked my james has dyspraxia which is on the mild side of austsm. I alway had a feeling something was deff about james and his teachers at childcare were worried about him as well as he was,nt talking or following directions like kids his age. It took a year to find out what was wrong with him and to get him the help he needs. I dont see it as a lablle if i didnt have a name for this and couldnt get help how would that help him (relly if you dont have name for it how can you get the help for them). It has been the hardest jouney i have taken so far with james so many tears and hreatbreck for my son but at least he can get the help he needs. Big hugs hunn
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emmaohara View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote emmaohara Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 02 May 2009 at 10:37am
Ok thanks everyone and big hugs James, will ring plunket lady back monday at tell her I have changed my mind and get him assesed as you say i have nothing to lose


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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote james Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 02 May 2009 at 11:05am
yay well done your be fine big hugs
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Aquarius Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 06 May 2009 at 8:04am
oh baileyandastin..your story almost brings tears to my eyes....
yes they are tricky but boy are they clever....sometimes i look at him and think man if you were "normal" you would be too clever for your own boots..
Autism nz run a fantastic course for parents with preschoolers on the spectrum...called early bird. it is free ( with diagnosis) and runs once a week for a series of weeks i think(been a while) but it basically gave us everything we need to know to deal with Enson..plus the first chance to be among other parents at the same stage as us.
its a real practical course with alot of discussions and projects to try.

you are absolutely right about no two kids being the same on the spectrum..but if they do have several traits its usally a sign...then to be more difficult some kids may just have tendancies of autism.
ohhh the world...good luck.

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Babe Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 06 May 2009 at 9:28am
I have high-functioning aspergers and TBH I wish there were the resources around when I was little to help. I was 'labelled' in a different way - highly-strung, difficult, thoughtless, etc.
It really hurt my feelings and knocked my confidence as I really didn't understand (and still sometimes don't) what I was doing that people didn't approve of. I'd try so hard to NOT be those things but since I had so little control over those decisions, as my brain was working at a hundred million miles an hour, I wasn't very successful. It also really REALLY didn't help that I had an IQ of like a rocket scientist lol Its only now (and thanks alot to OB) that I can make friends with abit more confidence and not worry so much that people will put me down or not accept me.
As someone dealing with the scars of NOT knowing what was different about me I think getting your boy assessed as early as poss is def the best move.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote BaAsKa Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 06 May 2009 at 10:11am
Originally posted by Aquarius Aquarius wrote:

oh baileyandastin..your story almost brings tears to my eyes....
yes they are tricky but boy are they clever....sometimes i look at him and think man if you were "normal" you would be too clever for your own boots..
Autism nz run a fantastic course for parents with preschoolers on the spectrum...called early bird. it is free ( with diagnosis) and runs once a week for a series of weeks i think(been a while) but it basically gave us everything we need to know to deal with Enson..plus the first chance to be among other parents at the same stage as us.
its a real practical course with alot of discussions and projects to try.

you are absolutely right about no two kids being the same on the spectrum..but if they do have several traits its usally a sign...then to be more difficult some kids may just have tendancies of autism.
ohhh the world...good luck.


dont read my other thread then! lol it really is sad!!! stupid friggen school!!!

The intelegent thing gets me sometimes, - when Bay was 4 we pulled up at home and had to wait in the car for the rain and thunder to ease so Bay asked what makes rain and thunder, i answered "its god moving his furniture and watering his gardens"...thats what my mum always told me so i thought id use it! lol well he gave me a funny look then replied "well that doesnt make any sense! because why would god be watering his gardens AND moving furniture at the same time!? you do them seperately!" ....oh man!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Aquarius Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 May 2009 at 7:43am
dont get me started on schools and the whole education system!!! actually to be more precise Ministry of education have alot to answer for

this is why it is important to get an early diagnoses as my experience is things were easier when Enson was younger and now that he 8 and needs aide more than ever the MOE seem to just close the case...its bizarre. i am taking them on as we speak.

dont they come up with the funniest things....

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote james Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 May 2009 at 8:23am
we have just had a meeting with james ,ot and moe and a teacher from his childcare. james has come shuch a long way. we have come up with the idea that he may need his tonsil removed as he always has a runny nose and this might be wants casing it lol .also all working on his socail skills and with repation with puzzle ect . all in all a great meeting and we have a another in 6 months time
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Bubnumber2 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 May 2009 at 1:01pm
Hi, I agree with a few others...get him checked!

My son was 3 when he was 'officially' diagnosed with High Functioning Autism. Like your son, he still makes eye contact and can be very affectionate, but he is OBSESSED with things like numbers (has been able to count to 435 since he was 3...always 435, never higher) and he is VERY difficult to convince to try new things, like foods. He usually plays alone, shows no interest in other children and gets distressed with things like loud noises and bright lights etc.

Our GP referred us to a pediatrician, who then referred us to another pediatrician who specialises with kids on the spectrum, as well as an audiologist. We also had to get him to have bloods taken (came back clear). It all took about 5 months from first referral to diagnosis.

The good thing about getting a diagnosis early, is that you can start getting the help EARLY as well. There is so much help and support out there, like support groups, training things like EarlyBird (prepares the child and parents for school, so it has to be before age 5) and help from Special Education when your child goes to kindy/school...I've heard you get more special education help the younger they are...

Good luck!! I'm gonna watch this thread now I think.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Aquarius Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 May 2009 at 9:47pm
great to read your IEPmeeting went well james. they will become so valuble and i love looking back at all of ours and realising just how far we have come.

Simple things like "Enson ONLY wears gumboots all year long" to him now owning many different types of shoes!!! i forgot he went through that period and at the time thought the worst but now its funny....

Bubnumber2...your story is similar to ours...how old is he now? and what is his support like if he at school?

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote kiwigal Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 May 2009 at 9:47pm

It is possible to get diagnosis around that age or even earlier in some cases. My son is 6 and was diagnosed at 22 months. Early the diagnosis the better it is in the long run. He is very complex as he has got some traits to autism but he doesn't act autistic as he wants to communicate and socialise. He is non-verbal with very few words, he is the most affectionate kid and loves being around other adults/kids. We treat him like a normal kid if he is naughty he knows what time out means or taking the computer off him. He is in a mainstream school.

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