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weegee 
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 Topic: Extended breastfeeding
Posted: 11 November 2008 at 9:11am |
Disclaimer before I start: there may be another thread about this somewhere but you just try searching for breastfeeding and sorting through all the results 
Inspired by the article on extended breastfeeding in the latest issue of the magazine (Yes! I finally got a copy! Thanks so much Tammy!), I've been giving this some thought lately. I mentioned the WHO guidelines to my DH (up to two years of age or beyond) and he was fairly... umm resistant is probably the best word. My son is only 4 months old and I am already being asked when I'm going to wean him. So far I've fobbed them off by saying he's not ready for solids yet and that I will just see how we both go with the breastfeeding. (Note this comes mostly from my MIL who had inverted nipples so didn't bf any of her 3, and my SIL who did bf but was never very natural or comfortable about it and who thinks I'm mental for using cloth nappies.)
While sometimes I think I would quite like my boobs to myself again, sometimes I think if you are still capable of breastfeeding your toddler, and both enjoying it, then why spend the time and money to use follow-on formula? I had previously been in the "if he's old enough to ask for it he's too old" camp, but actually being a breastfeeding mum has changed my mind somewhat on this.
Please note I don't intend this thread to be a discussion/b!tchfest on the merits or otherwise of extended breastfeeding  What I'd like to know is, if you have continued breastfeeding after around 12 months, have you encountered resistance from your partner, extended family, friends, or random strangers? And how have you dealt with that? Has your partner, in particular, come round?
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MrsMojo
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Posted: 11 November 2008 at 9:26am |
I didn't BF as long as some but I Bf'd until 15 months and didn't encounter any resistance. Then again apart from the fact that I enjoyed BFing, formula is bloody expensive and BM is better for baby I was also advised by a specialist that my best chance of preventing my baby from developing coeliacs disease (which I have) is to put off giving her gluten until after 12 months and to still be BFing when gluten was introduced. No one ever questioned my decision.
Having said that when I went back to work fulltime at 5mo I had a very hard time expressing enough for Michaela's day feeds so she was partially formula fed until 12mo when she went onto cows milk.
Stand your ground hun and ignore the comments. Your MIL and SIL probably mean well but it's not their boobs or their child so they really have no right to comment. You need to do what feels right for you and what you think is best for your baby. BFing is such a special time and it doesn't last forever.
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monster
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Posted: 11 November 2008 at 10:10am |
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It's still only early days for me in terms of extended BFing though I intend to keep going for quite some time if all continues to go well.
I haven't had any comments about it. I am actually quite well supported as my sister is currently BFing her second child (he's 15mo, she fed her first for 2+ years) and the 5 people on my PIN group are all continuing to BF at the moment - all the babies are 12 months+. My DH is very supportive - he recognises the health benefits and appreciates the financial benefits too!
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caraMel
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Posted: 11 November 2008 at 10:11am |
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I intended to BF Benjy as long as he wanted until around 2 years of age.
He absolutely loved booby and once we got past the 2 hourly feeding I was happy to continue as long as he wanted it.
DH wasn't too bothered about it, I think he did miss my boobs being his territory a bit, but after forking out for formula when Ella stopped BF at 9 months he wasn't going to argue about getting the milk for free!
I got the same questions and comments from family members and it got to me quite a bit, but I knew I was doing the right thing for Benjy and I. I just quoted the WHO recommendations at them and got DH to tell them to back off if it got too much for me.
As it turned out though, Benjy self weaned at 13 months. He just loved his food and decided he preferred his milk from a cup like big sis.
As Jo said, BF is so special, if you want to keep going don't let anyone else's opinion or comments sway you. You'll regret it if you stop for anyone else but you or JJ.
All the best Weegee!
Edited by caraMel
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Mel, Mummy to E: 6, B: 4 and:
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MonicaMouse
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Posted: 11 November 2008 at 10:24am |
It's such a strange topic, that you from what I've heard from discussions, you either get given grief for FF early, or BF late - makes you feel like you can't win!
Anyway, I'm in the same boat as Monster, still early days with extended BF (Blair is 13 months on Friday). I had always said that I would BF if I could, and we would just see how things went. B still has 3 BF a day, somedays he takes less than other days, and somedays wants water straight after.
At the end of the day (IMO) it's your body, I'm lucky that DH is supportive, and not one family member has asked me when I plan to stop BFing. In fact it was a factor with deciding if I was going to return to work, just because I didn't feel like I would be able to express enough, and besides, I'm too lazy to bother with formula  like the others I've found BFing to be a special time and one I know I cherish
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Blair 15/10/2007
Daniel 30/07/2009
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Mum2ET
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Posted: 11 November 2008 at 11:21am |
I am still B/F Ella and I can't see us stopping anytime soon. When I was pregnant I never really thought about b/f I just assumd I could do it and luckily we haven't any problems. I first thought I would feed her until 6 months, and then closer to the time couldn't stand the idea of wearning her so I thought a year tops...then a year came around and I thought it works for her and it works for me, then why should I stop.I think the only reason I would have stopped at a year was because everyone assumed I would.
I do get the occasion comment now about still feeding her. DH is quite supportive and is happy for me to continue feeding her (althought he does think past 2 it is a bit strange), my family don't really comment on it. I am the only one left in my postnatel group still b/f (but it has been that way since around 9 months, so I don't really notice it anymore) and a couple of my months have commented that I have turned into a 'earth mother' (just coz of the feeding and using cloth nappies), but it is more in fun than actually being mean about it. Most people are surprised that I am still feeding...but say 'good on you' or lucky Ella.
I love b/f Ella and I know that when the days to wearn her I will be quite sad, as it is our special time together and it is a bit of reminder that they are only young for such a good short time.
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fattartsrock
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Posted: 11 November 2008 at 1:18pm |
I'm still feeding Charlotte, however some days she has none at all, some days it's just a comfort suck and I'm sure she's getting nothing and others its a full on feed. She is down to one or two feeds a day (if she has a feed, some days she "forgets")
I had intended to feed until one, and then I said two,and now shes nearly two I'm thinking, when she's ready.
I do feel a bit conflicted tho, as much as I love it, and its our special time, and something no one else can do for her, I do sometimes think i would like my body (and my sex drive) back, as I have been pregnant or breastfeeding for 4 years now...
My husband hates it, and has been trying to get me to stop for AGES and AGES now, however he has given up commenting as he knows it goes in one ear and out the other, I guess he thinks of my breasts as his, lol, and the kids have had them for too long, lol.
I tend not to feed her in public now if she asks (juice?) as i had a quite negative expereince at a playgroup from 2 young bottle feeding mums, I almost cried. They were feeding their children, the same as as Charlotte, both were standing in front of their mums drinking, when Charlotte climbed up on my knee and patted my chest, and cuddled in for a feed. She would have been about 15 months? I haven't been back, or fed her in public since. It was bloody awful. I think imagine the outcry if I had done and said the same to them for using bottles.
I would like to see extended BF "normalised" in society, as lots and lots of mums feed beyond mum, but very few feed in public because of the same reason I mentioned, however, even breastfeeding a baby isn't really "normalised" as it should be.
i love it, and its free, and its exactly what she needs at the time, and full of all the good things she needs and nothing she dosen't. i don't worry if she is sick etc as she feeds more and I feel good knowing my body is nourishing her when she can't do it herself.
I  breastfeeding.
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weegee
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Posted: 11 November 2008 at 1:30pm |
Thanks so much for your feedback ladies, especially you Annie, I was starting to think my DH was the only one, or that anybody with a resistant DH didn't do it! I guess I will wait and see how we both go and not let anybody else dictate to us.
A bit OT but I've always been rather bloody minded and scornful of some societal norms, so I think I might be able to do it in public because I'd be comfortable standing up for ourselves if questioned. For example - I have never shaved my legs!
ETA - yes I am a crazy tree hugging hippie but I'm lucky to have blonde hairs so it's not as big a deal as you might think 
Edited by weegee
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fattartsrock
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Posted: 11 November 2008 at 1:34pm |
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I hardly ever bother with mine, either, lol!
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Rachael21
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Posted: 11 November 2008 at 2:06pm |
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Aww good on you Weegee.
I really wanted to continue to bf Jack for as long as he would have me but a mixture of things caused us to stop around 13 months. My partner kept on me to stop as he was getting sh*t from his friends and I was getting it from their gfs. None of them bf past 6 weeks so it wasn't something they were comfortable with. In the end The pain from pregnancy and Jacks biting helped the process come to an end.
I'm still breastfeeding Caprece now and I'm a lot more confident about my decisions so I was kinda waiting for the reaction so I could say my part but noone cares. They all think I'm a bit of a loonie anyway and my partner is a lot more comfortable with it now so we are happy to continue. Caprece is a bit like Charlotte sometimes she only has one little suck and other days she seems to spend the whole day drinking and she has weaned herself off one boob. I don't really bf in public but thats because she doesn't ask for it and we don't sit down at the mall anyway. My only issue I have is that the longer I bf the smaller my boobs have gotten so I have to be careful with what I wear or they get lost in my clothes lol.
I would love it to be more accepted to bf past one, and hopefully past two. Everyone doesn't need to do but it would be nice if people accepted it as a 'normal' thing to do.
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fattartsrock
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Posted: 11 November 2008 at 2:36pm |
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You are so right, Rach, about wishing it could be more accepted as normal.
Interesting you say about Caprece weaning off one boob, Charlotte has done the exact same, did it months ago, lol. Looks very weird! They were lopsided anyway but now its just ridiculous!
This would be a good support thread, I think... *wonders if Emma would sticky...*
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caraMel
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Posted: 11 November 2008 at 3:03pm |
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Benjy did exactly the same too!
I was lopsided for about 5 months after he stopped feeding off my left boob, before he weaned himself altogether.
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chonni
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Posted: 11 November 2008 at 5:23pm |
milas still bf and shes almost 15months its amazing how fast people go from keep bf its good for the baby t you can stop now shes to big, that can get a mum really confused but im not ready to stop i love it and anyone who doesint like it doesint have to look haha 
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Bizzy
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Posted: 11 November 2008 at 5:33pm |
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just being nosey here fats but what did they say that was so rude?
my mother was the one alwasys asking when i was going to stop breastfeeding and my answer was always the same... "when he is ready".
i fed gabriel till he was 14mths and toby till 26mths.
and funnily i was in the if hes old enough to ask for it he can go without camp too.. till one day he asked for it at a friends place...i think he did it to shock her cause she couldnt get why i did it so long either...
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Mum2ET
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Posted: 11 November 2008 at 7:42pm |
I also thought it was really good that the last OHbaby mag had an article about extended b/f. It is something that is not really talked about that much, and when I was pregnant it never ever occured to me that nearly 1 1/2 years later I would still be b/feeding Ella.
I love it when I ask Ella is she wants some milk and she gets all excited and starts gathering together all of her soft toys so they can sit on her lap while having her feed
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weegee
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Posted: 11 November 2008 at 9:59pm |
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Aww that is so cute!!!
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Mum to JJ, 4 July 2008 & Addie, 28 July 2010
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fattartsrock
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Posted: 11 November 2008 at 10:40pm |
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Biz, they both looked at each other and mouthed oh my god, then asked me (in "that" tone) How old is she? I replied that she was about the same age as their two, and how old were they when they stopped BF (knowing they probably hadn't) and the youngest looking one (who was busy texting her boyfriend) said ewww, no, i so didn't breastfeed, its gross. And theyother one screwed up her face and turned away. and by young mums, I mean barely/early 20's, not teen mums, just so no one gets the wrong idea of my post!
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fattartsrock
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Posted: 11 November 2008 at 10:42pm |
 Mum2Ella wrote:
I also thought it was really good that the last OHbaby mag had an article about extended b/f. It is something that is not really talked about that much, and when I was pregnant it never ever occured to me that nearly 1 1/2 years later I would still be b/feeding Ella.
I love it when I ask Ella is she wants some milk and she gets all excited and starts gathering together all of her soft toys so they can sit on her lap while having her feed |
lol, Charlotte does they same, gets her dolls and she claps her hands and sings with delight! Juice! juice! then she will often pull off and give me a milky grin, pat my boob and go Juuuiiiccceee!! SO cute!
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fattartsrock
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Posted: 12 November 2008 at 10:01am |
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a good link about a celeb who actually bothered to bf, and is an extended Bf'er. great example!!!
http://www.stuff.co.nz/4757648a1860.html
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SMoody
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Posted: 12 November 2008 at 10:50am |
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I have breastfed McKayla until 2 years 8 months. She stopped by herself. Yes, yes I know I must change my ticker still. Will see if I can do that today.
Grant and me were both keen to do breatsfeeding. We didnt even buy formula to have as "safekeeping". However right after I had McKayla she latched on by herself and then a lactation consultant came in and wanted to show me all kinds of different positions. I kept on telling her I will call if I need help and I was just really tired. To the point that that night I almost gave in and said this child is going to be a formula baby.
I had a MIL that started giving solids at 2 weeks and strongly beleived in formula. And to be quite honest it was hard at times.
Dont discuss too much right now just continue for as long as you and your baby feels comfortable. And if hubby isnt talk to him about it and see what he has against it. It might be that he isnt use to anything else so feels uncomfortable about it.
My biggest thing that I use to say if someone tried to cause a fight was: You do agree babies and toddlers need milk? Now why do you think it is better to give them scientific formulated fake milk or milk that was made for a baby calf over the milk that is made by a human for a human offspring?
Just give them a thought and they generally dont have a come back for it.
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Extended breastfeeding
