I’m heading back to the dr

After reading a post of Glow's and my general feeling at the moment I am going back to get some med's (I think I need to do it with meds this time) and some councilling.

PND- the warning signs & symptoms
*Feeling numb, empty sad & tearful a lot of the time
*Losing interest in the things you used to enjoy
*Difficulty bonding with your baby
*Finding yourself utterly exhausted yet unable to sleep or sleeping to much
*Having no appetite or interest in food. Or overeating
*Being unable to cope: feeling that you have to little time, are doing nothing well are unable to establish a routine
*Extreme mood swings, irritable & angry usually at the father of the baby
*Acute anxiety & feeling "driven", unable to rest while the baby is
*Panic attacks (racing heart, perspiring, feeling of terror)which may come on without warning
*Loosing interest in sex & general loss of confidence & self esteem
*Becoming forgetful & loss of concentration
*A fear of being alone or fear of being with others
*Feeling life is meaningless & having obsessive, negative or morbid thoughts
*Fears of harming others or your baby

All the blues are me at the moment. It doesn't help that the father of my children has also been diagnosed with depression as well.

I am sure mine is more that just PND this time. I have bonded really well with Josh (so much better than Andrew) but I think that some of the things my children's father has recently done have hurt me a lot and some things that he has told me I need to work on (abuse from my childhood is one of them). I tried to get a dr's appointment for today with dr I trust but they were fully booked so tomorrow I am heading there hopefully to get some meds and some councilling and in general some help.

ETA: opps missed coloured one of them.

Aw hun, huge hugs to you.  It's not your fault, it's another case of bad things happening to a good person.  And you ARE a good person and a wonderful mother (and treasured member of our coffee group).  Good on you for being brave and heading off to the Doc.  I hope the appointment goes well and you feel like you've been heard. 

Well I went back to my dr and he thinks my Iron levels aren't helping the cause. He used real words with me (including when you feel like sh*t ) which was great and so i'm taking so super strong iron tablets (which I hate) and i'm on Iron jabs (which aren't that bad, my butt just hurts a little) and that will hopefully help me out as well. I've been on the meds for 10 days now and they are starting to work (which is great).

Well 4 weeks on and I feel a lot better, but still not 100%. I have just finished my iron jabs and they didn't such a good job with helping me up my iron levels. Only problem with them is that the more often you have them the more sensitive you become to them.

Last week was a mission but hey I got through it and it shows me that I can cope I just need to find my way of coping - usually by ways of not doing any washing for a few days and then doing it all at once .

There is still a long way to go but i'm getting there.