a quote for those "struggling" with a C/S

A bit long, but worth the read

From the book Silent Knife.

"A mother deer flees from danger. She knows that if she tries to fight a lion she will lose. The only time she will fight that lion is if she perceives that her fawn is in danger. Survival instinct of the species is so strong that she will do anything to protect her fawn - anything to ensure IT will live. Our selflessness and survival instincts are equally strong. If we perceive that our child is in danger, we will do anything to protect her. Millie said "the pain was excruciating, I kept thinking that my baby must be suffering too". We will permit ourselves to be cut open to save the life of our baby. What we applaud as strength and courage in our animal friends, we interpret as weakness in ourselves. In this context, cesarean mothers are not weak failures, they are courageous women who are willing to be cut apart for the lives of their infants! Perhaps it is time to congratulate yourself for your strength and courage. It is time to love yourself for what you did. What you did was an act of love. Not one of you would have permitted a cesaren if the Doctor said "A cesarean would be dangerous for your baby". You needn't punish yourself for acting in the very best interests of your baby, nor feel guilty for protecting your baby".


For me, this put a different perspective on my feelings after my emergency C/S. I got to 9.5cms at home, I got to hospital and for whatever reason everything stopped. I blammed myself for a long time "what could I have done to make the outcome different?!?!" because it must have been my fault, it is my body that let me and Caitlin down! I was really lucky and had great support from my midwife and family and have come to accept that there was nothing I did or could have done to prevent the C/S at that time.

Now that I'm researching VBACs it has brought up a lot of those feelings and tears again, but this paragraph has really set my mind and heart at rest. We did what was best for Caitlin

I'm looking forward to giving a VBAC my best shot for baby #2 but will accept that sometimes a C/S is the only way for a safe arrival for my child and I will not berate myself again for allowing them to cut me to save my baby

I hope this helps others, as it has helped me.

Thanks for posting this!

I still struggle with my labour/birth and that I had to have a c section after puhsing for 3 hours and getting no where fast

That's really beautiful, what a true sentiment.

yep still stuggle sometimes but i also think back and i know if i had had james 50 years ago we would not of survived so i,m so glad we had the c/s outher the outcome would of been much worse

Wow tears all round!
Nice perspective!