Oh hugs hun.
Unfortunatly I could have written all that myself
I used to get soooo wound up when DH was home, and get so mad that he would decide what he wanted to do that day so I always felt that nothing was in control, my routine was totally imteruppted etc.
We finally sore my phycologist together, and he basically just pointed out what idff sort of people we are, and how those personalitys are good for each other. DH is laidback as, and Ive always been the one that organises, does bills etc- I need his to calm me down, and he needs me to get things done, lol! I had to really consciously try and relax and enjoy it when he was home, and try not to let it bother me not keeping to our usual rountine. Things are so much more relaxed between us now.
I think even without pnd, couples go through a defianate time of change in their relationships. The new baby needs so much care and time, that its no doubt that the womens attn is now referred to the baby, and with added sleep deprivtion etc, little time and energy is left to put into the relationship. It WILL get better. But pnd will be making this all worse too Im sure.
I cant remeber if u have started seeing someone at mmh. I know your Mum was putting on you not to, but Im sure it will really help you.