**Shudders**
Ditto what Janine says!
But OMG little girls can be so rude & mean to their parents. You have to get a thick skin cause boy can they work their lil feminine wiles!
Time out, sticking to your guns & laughing at their tanty's will get you through (obviously not directly in her face)
The best is when both parents are in the room & they say but Mummy says & then Daddy say back, no I didn't hear Mummy say that, & then she tries Mummy, but Daddy says....and so on! As long as you guys as parents "parent" the same she learn fast, if not...
But in all seriousness. Time out & removing her will hopefully help. She hits you, warn her, she hits you again straight to time out. If she yells, tell her to use her inside voice. If not, tune out if possibly & ignore her until she does or as above use time out. You will use it a lot.
With the DH thing...not quite sure what to do there. My DD could be quite rude & withhold emotionally from him which hurt his feelings. I think he needs to put her in her place. She's going to cry & get stroppy. Tell her to do it in her room and that you won't tolerate it.
They are old enough to know about their behaviour.
Also i notice my DD tantrums even now after she's had "bad stuff" in her diet. So see how she reacts after some "treats"