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MrsEmma View Drop Down
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    Posted: 01 August 2010 at 7:39am
We are now seriously thinking about having our second baby and to be honest I am terrified! Here's a little background.

My labour was fine until the last minute, I laboured from 8pm - 6am at home, went to hospital at 6.30am and my waters were broken. A couple of hours later I had an epi which only ever worked on one side but I was comfortable enough so carried on and at 3.10pm got to 10cms and started pushing. I was told I would see my baby very soon and at 3.35pm an OB was called in just to "checking everything was ok" I was blissfully unaware anything was wrong and thought this was abosolutely normal. At 3.40pm DH was told to push the emergency button and I was immediately surrounded by 6-7 people all running around and they literally sprinted me to theatre where I was given a GA for a crash section.

DS was distressed, posterior and had swallowed meconium and wasn't breathing on delivery and was whisked to SCBU and was there for 4 days after tests and more tests and even resulted in some complications that we are now trying to get the all clear (hearing issues due to the meds he was given at birth)

I realise that things happen and I obviously needed the intervention, but going from 'you'll see your baby soon' to what happened was a complete nightmare. DH was nowhere to be seen when I was being run to theatre (although I now know he was running behind the nurses) he couldn't be with me due to the GA and I was not in good shape, I was crying and had no idea what was going on until I woke up (and even then it was hazy!)

So now we are thinking of our next baby, I am so extremely terrified of something going wrong again. I'm not 100% sure but I would think I could have a VBAC and I just don't know if I could do that again. But the thought of an elective make me so sad, I want that natural birth, I want baby to come when he/she is ready, I want that first memory of seeing him/her and having skin to skin which I didn't get for at least a day this time and I don't want someone to determine his/her birthday.

What I'm asking is, for those that didn't have a txt book delivery or those that have had a traumatic delivery, were you concerned for your next? Did you have to decide between VBAC or elective? What were your reasons for choosing one or the other (if you don't mind me asking)

Thanks so much and sorry for the novel!
Emma


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mummyofprinces View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote mummyofprinces Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01 August 2010 at 10:01am
Hugs hun! I think that is all of our worst fears coming true and completely understandable that you would be torn!

For me personally, my situation was completely different.. firstly it wasnt a crash section and it was a natural labour.. I was induced due to complications and some questionable decisions were made that led to the path of section, it may have turned out that way anyway, it may not have.. I will never know.

The most important question I had was, "is there any reason medically speaking that it would happen again"... the answer was "no". That was enough for me.

You dont have to make your decision now, in fact you can decide to vbac and at the last minute change your mind (ie already in labour but decided you want a section).. once you have a had a c-section you can opt for one AT ANY TIME! I find this a huge relief!!!!

Perhaps have a chat with your mw and ask her if there was anything that caused your situation or if it was just that birth. Also you will have an appt with the hospital OB at around 36 weeks to discuss options and you can ask questions then too.. there is no pressure to make any decisions now

Feel free to lurk in the VBAC roll call as we attempt our VBAC's it might help to see others go on to have successful VBAC's.


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flakesitchyfeet View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote flakesitchyfeet Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01 August 2010 at 11:37am
Mine didn't quite get to that stage, but I went from 'You'll see your baby soon' at the local rural birthing centre, to an emergency transfer into Central, an epi, drugs to stop and restart labour and a vontrouse or whatever it is. I ended up missing out on skin to skin as well, by then my midwife had stopped playing advocate because she had had a telling off from the specialist, and was just waiting for herself to be allowed out pretty much.

I've been trying to decide between the local birthing centre and taking myself to central in the first place. And ditto to melnel, what happened in most of the notes I have found, there is no medical reasoning for it to happen again.

Second labours are generally easier, I know to stay on my feet as much as possible this time, I'm clued up on what natural pain relief works for me (I respond well to heat & touch), and my midwife knows the difference between 10cm and 7. Of course, this baby looks posterier & possibly breech so that may all be irrelevent

What happened last time sucked and I still feel a sense of loss about the things I missed out on with DD, but this is a completely different pregnancy & baby, midwife and set of circumstances.

Find your notes if you can, talk them over with DH/DP, and really nut out what happened last time as much as possible. And do what makes you feel ready, good & safe

http://eggsineachbasket.blogspot.com/
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newme View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote newme Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01 August 2010 at 12:27pm
I can totally understand why you would be scared of both options - not a great result last time.
I had a c-section with DS as he was breech, and I am planning a home VBAC this time.
I did a lot of research about what the best options would be, I looked at safety, success rates and things like that and I personally thought a VBAC would be best for me.
However your situation is a bit different - if the reason your delivery didn't go well was because of your babys position, and not something about the shape of your pelvis or something, then the same thing is unlikely to happen again.
So a VBAC might be a good option for you, but if you do choose to have an elective c-section, it will be a completely different experience to what you had last time. Although a c-section wasn't what I had wanted first time around, I didn't find it to be an upsetting or traumatic event. My son was given to me just a few minutes after he was born, whilst I was being stitched up, and I was breastfeeding within 20 minutes of his birth. I didn't feel it had a negative impact on bonding with him or anything like that, and I was off pain relief later that day, and was up walking around and showering by myself by the next day.
So I guess you need to talk to your midwife, do as much research as you can, and work out what is best for you.
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MrsEmma View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrsEmma Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01 August 2010 at 1:32pm
Thank you so much for your replies, I really appreciate you all taking the time to tell me your stories!

melnel that's exactly what I need to focus on now, is there any medical reason why it happened and as far as I am aware no, there was no reason. And I wasn't sure of my options even during the birth so thank you for that!

Flake that should be my mantra - different baby, different circumstances (and probably different midwife)

hila1 thanks so much, I will start doing a lot of research and have plenty of time yet to do it thankfully!

I will get out my notes tonight (ugh.. haven't been able to just yet) and will talk to DH too. It took a lot out of DH too, I was in hospital for a week and he went through the wringer trying to make sure both Liam and I were ok, supporting us both as well as the communicator between all of our family (of which all of mine are overseas and my Mum was on the phone daily asking for updates) and friends which he did all so wonderfully and I couldn't have asked for any better

My midwife was fine but this time I will probably go to someone else just because I feel like I need different support this time around and I don't think she is the right person to do that. I didn't see her after the birth, only a few days after and she never took the time to go over anything, I asked another midwife that was with me from when I was taken to theatre. I am concerned though that no one will want to take me on seeing as I may not have a VBAC, I guess only time will tell on that one!

Thanks so much again ladies, this forum is invaluable and hearing your stories and words of encouragement is extremely helpful!

Edited to make a bit more sense!

Edited by MrsEmma


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MrsEmma View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrsEmma Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01 August 2010 at 1:34pm
melnel I will definitely start lurking in that thread! Thank you


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mummyofprinces View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote mummyofprinces Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01 August 2010 at 2:59pm
I would say when looking for a mw to say you had a crash section with your first and you are not ready to make a decision on how you want to deliver this pregnancy but will need some who will be a strong advocate if you choose to VBAC but will also be willing to take you on if you choose an elective. A good mw will take you on so its a good way to weed out the ones in it for money! They do get paid for an elective anyway.. its just a bit less for the delivery, everything else is the same (antenatal and post natal visits).

I actually got my hospital records rather than my discharge notes and my new mw went through everything with me (she is baffled as to why some things were done though so it may have been good to go through them with the mw who attended the birth but thats not going to happen)...

I also decided to go with a new mw, not because I wasnt happy with my first but because I wanted a fresh start with this pregnancy and as it turned out were not really a good fit.

My new mw is AWESOME so wish I had her first time around, things may have gone a bit differently.

I am not sure where you are based but you could put the word out on here for a good mw in your area when the time comes...


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Chickaboo View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Chickaboo Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01 August 2010 at 4:14pm
I put this in the Jan thread but thought I would put it here:

Just popped in and read your post Emma - heres my 2 cents worth...

My first 2 were natural births - Josh's long and hard and Brooke's short and easy (2 pushes and she was out!)

Then along came Rhyley - it was discovered at 35+ weeks at a growth scan that he was breeched and so after a failed ECG to turn him we were booked in for an elective - he was too big to try naturally and they didn't want the risk - as it was they had to really pull him out as he was stuck in my ribs and you felt a 'pop' as he was pull out. I know it was the best decision to have a csection with him but I felt some what a failure and that my DH missed out on all the Drama and excitment that came with a natural spontanious birth (first 2 are not bio his)

I struggled with this feeling for so long (and honestly it was part of the reason we went on to have Elodie) I HATED Rhyley's birth - it did not help that he was so hard the first night crying all the time (I think they really did hurt him when he was yanked out - he had a dent on his head from where my ribs had been lying)

Recovery was not good and I had back spasums all the time- mixture of the spinal and body going back to normal - and my own bad back anyhow...

soo... when Elodie was concieved I was detirmind to have a VBAC my specialist was all for it as was my midwife - no reason why I can't have one since i had 2 naturals before I KNOW my body can do it!...

So when my waters broke on the 19th Dec I thought I was going to leave this and see how we go.... since all sunday nothing happened - I was seeing midwife on monday - was sent straight to hospital to be monitored and put n AB's (can't have waters broke too long incase of infection) Specialist came to see me and said he would leave me over night to see how things go naturally as VBAC was desired - well all that happened was waters were leaking even more but no sign of anything else happening - so go induced - because of a previous csection I could only go on half the amount but was put on the drip induction rather than gels frist...

After 9 hours of inducting and apart from tightenings in my tummy midwife checked and I was still only 2cm's dilated the same as almost 48 hours earlier - so I had to have a csection

I could of waited another 24 hours as the specialist did offer 'to see if the cervics would be favourable' but even then my midwife said she didn't think I would be fully dilated - more risk to baby and not to mention being very tired!!!

BUT my second csection was nothing like the first - I knew what iw as in for - I knew I gave it my best shot and also DH has a wee bit of a drama and excitement....

Not to mention Elodie was and is such a placid wee thing that the first night with her was bliss and nothing like Rhyley's.

So after that long winded thing - I am not too sure if that helps with anything and I don't have a VBAC ending for you but it was much better the second time around for me (and I have heard from my friends they say the same)


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Babykatnz View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Babykatnz Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01 August 2010 at 9:21pm
I was in the same position as you a couple of years ago... had a very similar scenario with #1, 72 hour labour and in the last 1/2 hour he suddenly went into distress, I'd already had an epi so that was topped up, and 5 minutes later I was in theatre, and B was out. And same as you, came out not breathing (apgar of nil) and he spent 2.5 days in NICU while I recovered upstairs all alone. Other things arose in the days and weeks following that sunk me into PND, and I had to find my way back without help, at which point I swore I'd never do it again!

Met my partner about 18 months later and he managed to change my mind and we started TTCing, but in my mind I had decided I didnt want to 'try again' with a vaginal delivery... I had given it more than my best shot first time around, and mentally couldnt face the possibility of having to rush off for another crash or emergency c-section, so I requested an elective when I had the appt with the OB around 30 something weeks, and after looking at my notes, he agreed (something about adhesions noted in the uterus while being cleaned up after the c-section) and it couldnt have gone any better (lost a lot of blood, but I wouldnt have even known if I hadnt been getting asked several times a day if I was feeling faint or dizzy etc!) I recovered MUCH better, and bonded so much better with that one than my first, had sole care of the baby from the minute we got back to our room, and even got the skin-to-skin I missed out on in that first hour with B...

I plan on having an elective this time around as well.
Brandon - 05/12/2003


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MrsEmma View Drop Down
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Thanks Ann for sharing your story, it's great to see how others coped with c-section/vaginal deliveries.

Babykatnz thanks so much for your reply also, I will NEVER forget those nights in the ward all alone after DH had left. I shed a lot of tears those nights and I think at that point I had never felt any lower. I'm very grateful to DH and with DS going from strength to strength in the following days.

Thank you for sharing your story, hearing that it's 'ok' to want a c-section really helps. I felt like a huge failure when I woke up from the GA and like I should have tried harder, done things differently etc etc. and I almost feel like I'd be letting myself and my baby down by opting for a c-section and I know that sounds ridiculous!! It's one of those things I never thought would happen and I guess I've come out with some negative thoughts on the whole thing.

Edited by MrsEmma


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newme View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote newme Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 02 August 2010 at 8:59am
No matter what, you shouldn't feel like a failure. You did your best, and you need to accept that what happened was out of your control.

I just noticed from you ticker that your baby is only 6 months old - your midwife may have issues with you trying for a VBAC after quite a short gap between pregnancies. I think if you did choose to VBAC, they would want to moniter you quite closely as they recommend a minimum gap of 18 - 24 months between pregnancies to minimise the risk of uterine rupture and other complications. The risks would still be very low, but a bit higher than if the gap was bigger.
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MrsEmma View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrsEmma Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03 August 2010 at 7:38pm
Thanks hila1, I'm not yet UTD or even actively TTC just yet, we have just decided when we would like to start TTC and with that all the memories came flooding back!

Thanks so much again for all your help everyone, I really appreciate it.

Emma

Edited by MrsEmma


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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Disco Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 04 August 2010 at 10:12pm
MrsEmma,

I know exactly how you feel. Although I was induced as I was two weeks overdue and no sign of DD making an appearance. Basically was induced, then had an epi, couldn't take the intense contractions that started within half an hour. Anyway things then went fine, was fully dilated to 10 cms about 10hrs later. Felt fine. Then came time to push, DD had a big head and was rather big, 4.5kg and wasn't coming down, so more people turned up, specialist etc, then they tried ventouse, and with two pushes baby was in high distress and they whisked me down to the theatre for GA, so not only was DH not allowed in, i was knocked out and feel so sad that strangers where there to welcome my daughter into the world.

Woke up, i think i was just in shock for weeks after as it had all happened so fast. I had put months of hard work in, doing hypnobirthing etc. Only to have the furthest kind of birth from a natural birth possible.

Anyway I worked through it and can actually bring myself round to having another baby.

So I'm in the camp of elective or VBAC. I so want the chance to experience a natural birth and be awake to welcome the next one into the world but I dread the thought of something similar happening again. A thought that scares the s**** out of me.

So I think I've decided to not decide until closer to the time. For me I just think, see how the pregnancy goes, what kind of baby and well if they decided to make an earlier appearance. I guess there are so many factors to consider and so many factors that come into play at the last minute.

i wish you well with your next birth :)
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MrsEmma View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrsEmma Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 05 August 2010 at 11:56am
Thanks so much Disco!

I agree that the thought of DS entering the world into strangers hands and not either of his parents being there (or at least awake) although even if I hadn't had the GA I very much doubt I would have been able to see him anyway as he needed resuscitation.

I think I am leaning towards your camp too - decide not to decide until the time comes.

Thanks so much for your reply


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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote tiptoes Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 05 August 2010 at 12:48pm
I had some similarities to you MrsEmma in that C was posterior and distressed, he also had his head flexed but there was only a small amount of meconium in my waters which my midwife said was ok. I'd had an epi already so was able to just top that up and so I was awake for my c-section. He came out healthy so I asked if I could have him put on my chest, it was a little awkward but I wanted to have him as close as possible, as soon as possible, then after they stitched me up we went to recovery and I got my skin to skin and first breastfeed straight away. So for me, I felt like as soon as the decision to have a c-section was made everything went nicely and smoothly and I had good feelings about how it went. So if you do opt for an elective, it's more likely to go like that and so you don't need to miss out on immediate contact. I'd say it was a few mins tops before they brought him over to me and if you're planning for an elective I'm sure all those kind of things can be written down in your birth plan.

I'm also in two minds about what to do next time (not that we're TTC either) but at this point I think I'd rather opt for the c-section, my main worry is that I'd get pressured to go for a VBAC. I think I'm more scared of a VB now than I was before C was born. Originally I'd planned for a nice natural birth using a TENS machine and maybe some water, but ended up using every drug I could and have a c-section.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Shezamumof3 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 06 August 2010 at 3:12pm
I had an emergency CS after a 48 hour labour with my DS, and a whole lot of issues after the section, low iron, had a blood transfusion, I had paralyzed bowels(theres a proper name for it, but I cant remember) that came right on day 3 though, but I was really sick after I had him.

I got pregnant again when he was 5 months old, and I was terrified of another CS like his, but I ended up with an elective(had hopes for a VBAC but DD didnt want to come on her own) her CS went perfectly, I recovered so well and Im glad I didnt try for a VBAC really, as I really didnt know if I would end up with another emergency CS and I didnt want to risk that.

Reason for my emerg CS was - DS was posterior and had meconium in his waters. he was stressed and I had a high temp and was totally over it! He had minor respetory(sp?) distress at birth and his apagar was 6 and then 9.
DD's apgar was 9 then 10 much happier at birth!

ETA - I never got skin on skin with DS as he was rushed off for oxygen and I was to tired and sick to hold him until I was in recovery.
With DD I got to hold her as soon as she had been checked(she was actually born via forceps as she was so stuck! so the pead's needed to give her a check) I got to hold her within 5 mins, they put her right between my boobs, and it was so lovely! She breastfed in recovery :)

Edited by Sheza

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