Legal guardians should the worst...

If i were to die, and had my mother named as DS's legal guardian in my will what are the chances she would actually take custody of him? Have discussed briefly with his father and while he agrees that his situation would make taking immediate custody of DS impossible he is hesitant to my naming my mother as legal guardian because he thinks it means he'll never see him again. He flip flops between demanding full custody and insisting he doesnt want any custody at all just casual visits. So, if the worst were to happen, mom is named as DS's guardian in an official will and he were to challange it, what are the chances my mom would come out the winner?

My parents are named as additional guardians in my will, so that I have done what I can to ensure they will still be involved in my girls' lives if I were to die. The problem is, the father's rights will generally come first over and above anyone elses, even if they haven't had anything/much to do with the child. That's what my solicitor said to me anyway.

It would make a lovely sitcom if he was in charge of Max right away.

That is such ballsack.

I think i might actually have to go draw a will up with a family law person instead of getting it done on the cheap. I am hoping that his father will agree to some legal magic that signs over his custody to my mom should the worst happen. He has already agreed to it verbally will have another chat to him and see if he is really willing to put it down on paper. I am not trying to cut him out of his sons life and hope that he would eventually take over custody of him but if i were to go out suddenly - well he lives in army barracks, the army is his career, he doesnt own a house and he is over 2hrs drive away and that is just the start. What is he going to do, pick up Max and drive him back to an army base and make up a bunk? I am wanting, i dunno, a 6 month period in which my mom would have custody while he prepares/wondering if i can attatch conditions like he must have a house, must have a job + sutiable care lined up etc. I guess i 'could' but i'd be dead so who knows what'd happen. I wish i hadnt started this train of thought now.

I think it'd go to his bio father chick. He is on the birth cert isnt he? The good news is had a chat to my ex and he's agreed with Max going to my mom, at least to start off with and will sign off on that. Dont know what legal stuff has to happen for that, guess the lawyer will advise me. And at the end of the day at least my wishes are down on paper and i've had the discussion with his father. We are going to have a sit down chat some point in the near future so he is familiar with my wishes for DS. Best i can do i gues. sh*t i'm morbid.

Bentley's father isn't on his Birth Certificate, he waited purposefully until I had sent it away to meet DS.
Now he wants and has nothing to do with him.

I'd give custody to my mum, but she's getting old and she has my dad to look after as well as work, realistically she wouldn't be able to have him full-time, but it'd be nice if DS stayed the night with them every now and then, or something like that.

ps. Happy Birthday!!!!!

pps. His father did impose conditions on me when we drew up our agreement. We did a private thingy though not actually court ordered. Things like i dont do drugs, i don't live with a partner without telling him, Max doesnt see a doctor without me telling him why...nothing a court would order but happy enough to agree too.

i've thought alot about this one, particularly as my wee girl has no legal father being a donor child.

my understanding is that if I was to die without putting it in my will about custody/guardianship then the govt basically takes over care and will decide where she goes (wasn't happy about that idea).

the child will not automatically go to a family member, you can decide on friends or whatever as long as it's legally written down - and you can go to the public trust and get them to do it all for free

my decision was that my baby guardianship/custody would go to my sister and her husband - mainly as they already have 3 children (who are not that older) and also are financially able to take on another child without it causing undue stress on them. although as my sister lives in australia we have talked about what if baby is a little older and doesn't know her as well as say my parents, so my sister has agreed that as the guardian she can decide that if my parents are well then they can take over full care whilst my daughter transitions to being comfortable with living with my sister and her family

my sister is also aware of other wishes I have around my daughter maintaining contact with her donor half siblings so that she knows about and has even a passing relationship with those she shares a genetic connection with

Bowie, would definitely talk to someone who knows all the ins and outs - and you can go to public trust and get them to work thru it with you and they don't charge if you name them executors of your will etc - worth invesitaging

Oh, not like i have to call him BEFORE the doctor, more like i call him after and say oh by the way max was at the doc for an ear infection today. I admit i am not good at keeping it up - he had several return visits for an umbilical thingy that had to be nitrated and i certainly didnt call him each time. I was mostly thinking to the future - when he might have DS for parts of the week and what i would expect from him when it is reversed. Like me living with a partner is SO unlikely and it doesnt matter but chances are high he will move his flavour of the week into his house and i really want to know when that happens if Max were to be staying there. Its all very weird i know - we hashed out the details before Max was even born so i threw a lot of crazy sh*t into the mix. I was overdue when we had finished so i was a bit mental lol. Oh well, its still working.