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music 
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Joined: 25 January 2010
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 Topic: baby loss
Posted: 09 June 2012 at 10:00pm |
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Would love to connect to others that have lost a baby.
or a child.
please come in here and post.
happy to talk from miscarriage which is still a loss.
Would love to find others that have lost babies children.
please post on here.
I lost in 2011.
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katchup
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Joined: 04 January 2012
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Posted: 06 July 2012 at 9:18am |
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Hey Ilovesport!
I lost my little girl this year, I really got a lot from these forums during my pregnancy... am still good friends with all the Mums.
How are you doing? I struggle.
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katchup
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Posted: 06 July 2012 at 9:20am |
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even my ticker is still on...
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music
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Joined: 25 January 2010
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Posted: 06 July 2012 at 7:26pm |
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I struggle alot for sure.
Its been over a year for us since we lost our little boy.
would love to know more about your baby if you wanted to share.
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Lollypop
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Joined: 31 March 2009
Location: Wellington
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Posted: 06 July 2012 at 7:33pm |
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Hi ilovesport & katchup,
My baby girl died 7 weeks ago and I feel like I'm living a nightmare still. She was born prematurely at 28 weeks but was doing really well, then suddenly died when she was 23 days old. They did a post mortem but don't have any answers for us, not knowing what happened just kills me.
Does it get any easier as time goes on?
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music
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Posted: 06 July 2012 at 7:51pm |
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I am so sorry for your loss.
I think you have your good days and your bad days.
do you have any other children?
I just take it a minute by a minute if I need to.
I just do what gets me through the day.
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katchup
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Posted: 11 July 2012 at 9:20am |
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Oh Lollypop, I am so sorry.
It's heart-wrenching. My daughter should be 4 months old today. I don't know if I can truly say it gets any easier... time kind of changes in my head. I was having heaps of nightmares early on, and flash backs of everything that had happened. I developed HELLP syndrome during labour, and we had no idea until we got to the hospital that she had died - or even that I was ill. 37 weeks and 2 days. I feel totally ripped off that we got so far with her and we don't have her with us now.
ilovesport I take the same approach. Sometimes it's minutes, sometimes by meals. I still can't plan anything more than a week out. I think I've come to terms with feeling like this for a lot longer than I expected.
Are either of you involved with any support groups?
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Lollypop
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Location: Wellington
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Posted: 11 July 2012 at 10:39am |
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Katchup, I'm so sorry, I know exactly what you mean about feeling so cheated. We're all now members of some horrible private club. I feel I have no purpose now, as I'm not pregnant (my due date is this Friday) and I might be a mother but I don't have a baby (i don't have any other children).
I had pre eclampsia from 24 weeks, but our baby girl was doing so well for 22 of her 23 days. We had a review with the Dr yesterday but they have ruled out all the usual causes of death and just can't tell us why she died. It amazes me that in the 21st centuary they can't give us an answer.
I've been to 2 Sands meetings so far. What about you girls? What do you do with your days?
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music
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Posted: 11 July 2012 at 6:09pm |
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I go to Sands meetings but not been to one a month and a half and I am suffering big time because of it.
I am so sorry for both of your losses ladies.
Its been over a year now since our loss of our son he was just over a year and he died suddenly no cause of death.
So I have no idea what its like to lose one at 23 days or to have one die so late in pregnancy.
I do understand about the loss all loss is hard.
you can get phone support if you need and email support from sands as well if needed.
Sands is a great organsation.
Its its very common they cant always find causes of death.
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Lollypop
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Location: Wellington
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Posted: 11 July 2012 at 6:29pm |
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And you too ilovesport, I'm so sorry you lost your little boy. And not to know the reason why he died. It's just so *** unfair. Life sucks doesn't it.
I'm conscious of not saying too much on a public forum, where do you ladies live, is anyone close to Wellington??
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music
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Posted: 11 July 2012 at 11:26pm |
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yes lollypop I am in Wellington.
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katchup
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Posted: 12 July 2012 at 12:15am |
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im in auckland. I want to meet you because you give me something that I know I feel.
OOhhhh, man, i wish i could see enough to change things for us,
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katchup
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Posted: 12 July 2012 at 12:20am |
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x
Edited by katchup - 15 January 2013 at 9:54am
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katchup
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Posted: 12 July 2012 at 12:51am |
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okay. i am SO glad I have met you.
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Tealsgirls
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Joined: 16 July 2012
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Posted: 16 July 2012 at 10:13am |
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Hi Ladies,
It breaks my heart to read that you have lost babies.
It is a long hard road that we travel after losing a child. Some days you can muster a little smile & other only tears. I have discovered that this the way live is now.
I lost my little girl April 2010, & still find somedays unbearable. But it does get alittle easier, but they will always be with us.
I also find the Sands meetings great, so much that I now help out.
feel free to contact me.
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TaeAndLulusMummy
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Posted: 01 August 2012 at 11:03pm |
All you Mums are so strong  I lost my 8 week old girl 5th August 2007, i know have a 4 month old girl and this year has been my hardest yet of dealing with her loss. I hated 'being a mum' but having no baby. Having these dates i am ment to celebrate but instead it's sad. I always bake a cake on her birthdays but its just so numb. I write blogs about my loss as i have no one to talk to. My partner forgets her birthdays he didnt even relise it was her 5th birthday untill i was crying the night before and i asked him today if he knew what this weekend was for me, he had no idea! My angel baby is with my ex but you would think after 3 years he would remember!! So i turn to my blogs, kind of like an online diary. Do either of you's have other children?? It is hard for me watching my girl go through milestones that my first never got to reach but at the same time it is soooo amazing. It sucks that we have lived a true nightmare and we have to sit back or carry on and watch the world just carry on around us. stay strong please. Things will never be normal again but you do find ways to cope xx Always keep your angels memory alive.x
Edited by TaeAndLulusMummy
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gypsynita
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Joined: 01 March 2008
Location: Hamilton
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Posted: 30 August 2012 at 7:47pm |
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hey guys... it's probably about time I joined the "club". we lost our little girl in June this year, born prem at 22 weeks but with a number of problems, some we're still waiting to find out about. this grief thing is definitely a rollercoaster huh?
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Anita
Mum to Cian (Aug 08), Josh (Jun 10)
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Buttonz
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Joined: 04 December 2011
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Posted: 04 September 2012 at 11:56am |
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Hi Guys,
Joining the exclusive club I wish had no reason to exist after our son Jeremy was born sleeping at 21 weeks last Friday. He was absolutely perfect so until we have the autopsy report we just have to assume someone had other plans for him.
The funeral is tomorrow and I am just taking things one day at a time. Yesterday was good, today is awful and I still don't think it has really registed that I am no longer pregnant. I'm just really conscious today is the last chance I have with him to get any memories. We have a few photos and I will take some more today when he gets to meet his grandparents, but did any of you have anything you wish you had done before you had to lay your angel to rest?
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After 2 1/2 years of treatment and IVF my heart was ripped out again when Jeremy was born sleeping at 21 weeks.
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Kellz
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Location: Gisborne
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Posted: 04 September 2012 at 1:22pm |
So sorry for your loss. Have you done hand and foot prints? Might be nice to have as a keepsake to go with your pictures. Take care 
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gypsynita
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Location: Hamilton
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Posted: 04 September 2012 at 5:21pm |
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Hi Buttonz - so sorry to hear about your wee man... have you been put in touch with Sands? they will give you a heap of ideas & resources as well as take care of hand/foot prints, castings, etc. they are absolutely fantastic. If you don't feel up to contacting them I can pass on your number/email to them so they can ring you (I found that was easier than having to pick up the phone). Just PM me your details if you'd like to do that.
Just keep taking it one day at a time hun, accept that there will be good ones and bad ones and remember he will always be your precious first son xx
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Anita
Mum to Cian (Aug 08), Josh (Jun 10)
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baby loss
